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What more can i do?

Answered 2 years ago

I left an abusive relationship not long ago and my ex has been trying to make me look like the one who has anger issues, abusive etc

We have young Children and for a month he withheld them from me, limited contact with them and made me jump through so many hoops to see them. Including making our contact text only, making me take mental health evaluations and complying with his demands.

As school is now starting to resume he is ignoring my requests to get their school things back so i can start sending them.
I got their uniforms at the start of the year as well as bags and shoes so really trying to find away to get them instead of buying new ones
Ive sent countless messages with little to no replies.

Im just at a loss on what to do
I feel silly contacting my solicitor about something that should be able to be worked out between us

I feel hes doing it to make it look like im a bad parent so he can have a better shot at getting the kids to live with him.

What more can i do?


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ANSWER
2 years ago
I would notify your solicitor anyway, why you may think because then it is documented and shows how controlling and manipulative he is being. Keep ALL and I mean ALL emails, texts notes etc. Have phone recorder on you at drop off and pick up and a witness as well.

Buy new ones and just keep plodding along, its not fair but men never play fair. Ive been there.
My dv ex tried to say my meds caused the bruises etc. Smh men are liars and master manipulators. Stay firm.

Any change in kids behaviour document as well after contact with him.
Even the smallest.
You need to be smart when it comes to narcissists and be a step ahead of them at their game.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Alao contact the school to see if u can borrow uniforms explain ur ex is with holding them ans that its essential your kids are not negatively impacted by his behaviour.

And n the future, he has clothes and stuff at his and you have yours. Never supply for his house. You wont get them back.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Ugh man i have no advice but that is shit! Those type of people are the worse! I almost lost my job after mine told everyone i was using hardcore drugs in front of my children! Fyi i don't even drink alcohol,but people like that are so damaging.
Just have to act like he's not damaging your reputation, hopefully eventually people will see him for the lying cunt he is.
Hopefully you can afford to get new school stuff, in which case that's what you should do, just act like you need and want nothing from him at all

ANSWER
2 years ago
Why didn't you take your kids when you left? No way I would leave mine in a house with an abuser.

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REPLY
2 years ago
I did, he withheld them on one of his visits πŸ˜”
Hes the type that if you stop control he becomes much much worse in his actions

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2 years ago
Shit babe. Even you're so much better without him ❀

ANSWER
2 years ago
This is why I pick my kids up before they go to their dad's on a Friday night. They are in old clothes and flip flops and take nothing with them as nothing comes back.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Call the school. They might have some second hand uniforms they can loan you or you can buy cheap until you get theirs back. Use whatever containers you have a home for lunchboxes. Buy some cheap school bags. Send all of this to your lawyer. It will look bad for him that he is withholding school supplies.

ANSWER
2 years ago
You should definitely just buy new ones, he's using this as another reason you'll need to grovel to him! Narcissist.

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2 years ago
Aditionally don't even make it a thing, just get what they need and pretend it didn't even bother you.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Has he got access to seeing his kids ?

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2 years ago
Yes he does

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2 years ago
Hugs babe. I know this must be very hard for you xx

ANSWER
2 years ago
Apply to court and get your kids back!

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2 years ago
I can see kids again, took a month but seeing them.
Going to court soon to get orders in place so in limbo with it at present.

Just their school things he wont send with them and it’s stressful as i want to do right but getting their school necessities is a struggle

ANSWER
2 years ago
Get the kids to call and ask. Contact the school and explain the situation and let them know the kids won't be in uniform for a few weeks.