View other questions

My Husband is a selfish lover

Answered 5 months ago

First off, we only ever have sex if he's hungover or has a few drinks in him, which of course does wonders for my self confidence.

There is zero foreplay, at all. He doesn't go down on me, doesn't kiss me, doesn't put his hands on my body or my breasts.

As long as he cums, he's happy. The other night during sex I begged him to spoon me, it's my favourite position. But nope, he just went straight to getting me to put my legs up because that makes him cum. If I say something he says to me "you've got a dildo, use it"

I feel like I'm going to explode, I just can't take it anymore. I have no idea how to masturbate. I try texting him sexy things, but he deliberately plays dumb. I'm 35 and I feel like my life is wasting away, but I can't break up my kids happy family just because I need a decent fuck.

All I think about is foreplay and good, passionate sex. I'm not even sure what exactly I'm asking, I just need to vent and read some advice


Have an answer?

We have held the answer in moderation, and will make it available shortly.
2000 characters left.

Answers

An unexpected error has occurred, please try again shortly.
ANSWER
5 months ago
I say find yourself a NSA kinda guy/ fuck buddy. You’ll be surprised what it can do to your confidence plus it will make you feel like a whole new person. If hubby ain’t giving it the way you want it then go get it else where !

ANSWER
8 months ago
Trust me as a daughter myself, your children see and feel WAAAAAY more than we give them credit for!. I KNOW they feel and see your unhappiness. And they will grow up to repeat your relationship mistakes cause that's what they have seen so that's all they know.
If he is that awful to you re sex and intimacy then I'm positive there are many other ways he isn't good to you.
A man CAN be a great father.......doesn't mean he has to be YOUR husband.
I promise you there is a person out there that will be SOOOO excited to come home to you everyday, won't WANT to take their hands off of you even while you wash dishes or cook or whatever!!. It's the BEST feeling in the world when you have someone who is genuinely excited about YOU!. And you deserve that too!!

ANSWER
1 year ago
he sounds like a selfish person full stop. What is the rest of your relationship like?

If he wants sex, say to him 'youve got a hand, use it'.

Replies

REPLY
1 year ago
He's pretty selfish in a lot of other ways.

If I messaged him say when he's active on Facebook he just swipes it off and never reads it. It could go as 'unseen' for days. Things like deliberately ruining my Mother's Day but he had a great Father's Day, huge camping trip planned for his 40th and spends heaps of money on it, but he complained so much about me wanting to get my nails done I just didn't do it.

I guess I'm very financially dependant on him, he works and supports me staying home.
For all his faults he's a good Dad, just a shitty Husband.

REPLY
1 year ago
I think you need to be careful. Im not meaning to be rude but he sounds like he could leave you or cheat and you would be screwed. can you look to being less dependent on him?

REPLY
1 year ago
He does not sound like he could leave or cheat! But agree, get some independence from him, he’s a dick.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Umm, why are you enabling his selfishness???
Don't put out unless its for quality, it's not complicated.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I agree with the first comment. He sounds selfish and sounds as though you just let him walk all over you because your financially dependent on him. First step, get a part time job - earn some of your own money to treat yourself to the things you want.

This is going to sound incredibly insensitive but sometimes tough love can go a long way and I'm not saying it to be a bitch but if you are going to let yourself rely on a selfish person then they are going to take advantage of you. You need to step up and do shit for yourself girlfriend. Fuck what he does or thinks, just go ahead and do what you want. You have to step the fuck up dude. Stop being a little pussy to this selfish prick and go get your damn nails done!

Replies

REPLY
1 year ago
It isn't insensitive, it's honest.
I appreciate your words.
I'm thinking of putting my girls in a bedroom together and making my own room, anything has to be better than sleeping next to someone like this.

REPLY
1 year ago
Would you want your girls to stay in a relationship like this?

REPLY
1 year ago
My girls see us as very happy, it's quite easy because he is happy, it's just me that's not.
They definitely don't see what else goes on

REPLY
1 year ago
Yes, but if they were in a relationship and married to someone like this, would you want them to stay?

REPLY
1 year ago
Great idea!

ANSWER
1 year ago
If you don't plan on leaving him then it's time to buy yourself a dildo/vibrator. Make sure it's bigger than his cock so he has a complex about it then start using it when he's got you legs up. Just put it on your clitoris and away you go. Once you have perfected it, it won't matter what that selfish prick does but hopefully he will discover how awesome getting his lady off does for him too.