What do you think is happening here?
Answered 11 months ago
Have had a FWB for 2 years. We have out ups and downs. Not seeing each other for a while at times. But always drawn back together again.
Recently we went away together for 10 days and we haf a wonderful time. Since we have been back, he has gone back to work (working away) and we havent seen each other. He texts everyday about 6am and then until late into the night and ringing every second day for an hour.
He has said that he misses me, is looking forward to being back and seeing me, would like to do another holiday with me, suggested we go here and there together.... etc
Do you think he is now not thinking FWB and maybe more? I have asked him tonight but he hasnt reply as yet. I am feeling confused.
We have always said it is just friends who have sex and nothing more. What do I do?
Have an answer?
There are many things I dont like about him, many things I do. A relationship would never work with us.
Yet I feel myself drawn to him. Not sure why.
Never wanted a relationship with anyone due to huge trust issues with men. Was happy being on my own.
Maybe it was a fantasy dream that maybe a man could actually care about me, for me, and not getting sex from me. The sex was good but fizzled out many months ago now. Even though the sex is gone, he still says he doesnt want to lose me,he just does nothing to show it and prove it. So I am polite to him ( because I am that sort of person) yet stay away.
I have been so hapoy and content with the FWB arrangement and having no commitment to him. Being independant and leading my own life.
I have pulled the pin a few days ago and told him it is goodbye.
I feel gutted. I cry. I feel lost. I feel alone and so unhappy.
Crap. May e he meant a whole lot more to me that I ever knew and realised.
Now what do I do???
So I have made the decision to completely walk away from the friendship and the benefits.
That's a lot for a FWB to be calling and texting.
If it's all sexual, than maybe he just has a high sex drive.
However if it's about work, friends, family and life in general, then I think you have yourself a boyfriend.
Until I now havent heard from him in the 7 days since he has been back.
Obviously he really enjoys your company, and being with you, and the sex of course.
So from your end it does look like a relationship.
I think you were right to ask him.
Men can appear to be in a relationship with you, from your perspective (female interpretation), but are not really, just being kind and attentive as part of the trade off for company and sex (male perspective).
So, the risk is that you fall in love with him, but he is not in love with you.
He may keep coming back to you because he has had others in between, and they have got fed up with his lack of committment and given him his marching orders.
If his answer is no, it is time for you to move on.
And you have to make a clean break and start energetically looking for someone else, or you are going to be vulnerable to continuing this arrangement, because its comfortable, and its known, but it also has no future.
If there is no answer, then that is in effect a "no". (That's how some men answer and actually say no - just avoidance of the whole question.)
If this situation continues, which is convenient for him, you risk ending up, in many years time, having missed out on finding the "one" for you. And when he does find "the one" for him, you will be dropped like a hot potato.
So you need to assess what you want out of life, and if it is to have a committed partner, you have to terminate this FWB arrangement.