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Bump

My husband was leaving on a 6 week trip overseas. We are regional and our airport is tiny so I was with him right until he got on the plane. Right as he was heading out the door he says “be sure to use that treadmill every day I’m gone” and walked out. No bye, no love you or miss you. Just that and it was loud enough that everyone in the area heard him. It was embarrassing and made me feel horrible. It was not the time or place to say that.

A week before Christmas my husband showed me a job advertisement that I could do over the holidays. He has had one 6 month job in 7 years (depression), I work 5 days a week, do all the cleaning, cooking, shopping etc. Just felt like saying, "F off and find a job yourself." I'm bloody tired.

"Well, it's not like he raped you." my ex, the only person I ever told about childhood sexual abuse. Apparently it wasn't a big deal because it wasn't rape as he understood it. I was 7 at the time.

It’s a shame, but my hubby likes to be honest. He ain’t perfect. But can easily point out my imperfections. I don’t care if it’s about weight, but when I see him looking at my arms cos I have freckles and moles or my freckly face without make up it stings. And I don’t see myself as pretty. I can’t feel beautiful when dragged down by that.

Bullies at school, I'm annoying, I'm ugly (well I am but I can't help that), I have an annoying voice. Can't say I blame them, I am all that 😔

I was in a live in relationship with a 26 year old man from age 13-16, obviously in retrospect he was a pedophile and I think he probably had paranoid schizophrenia too. He convinced me women are designed to be manipulative and promiscuous, and that I by nature was too, he would tell me often what was wrong with my body and why no one else would want me, he would grill me after any social situation for tiny things I had done wrong.. if I crossed my legs and then changed them I was trying to get male attention, apparently I would purposely sit slightly back from him in my chair at the table and this was so that I could make eye contact with other men without him seeing me, if I touched my hair I was flirting, I was constantly a bundle of anxiety because he observed and picked apart my every word and action 24/7. He would make me strip naked if I'd been anywhere without him so he could sniff over my body in case I'd had sex and he would check my underwear too. If any of this made me upset he would tell me I was crazy and I would never become anything because I was unstable and emotional. I could write a book about all the messed up things he did to me, a very sad book. These don't even touch on the worst of it.
He really fucked up my childhood.
I realised in my late teens and 20s that I was actually exceptionally beautiful (as vain as that sounds) and he was trying to keep me in a little box, I have modelled all over the world, I found a career I love, I have gorgeous friends and a loving husband, two kids and happy life but I still struggle on a daily basis with his words and ideals engrained in to me, I battle to keep them out of my head.
He went on to be charged with statutory rape after he got involved with another young teen and then he killed himself not long after he had a daughter of his own.

Hhhmmm it would have to be when my husband told me he wanted a divorce 1 hour after my dads funeral. He told me he wanted a divorce because he refuses to deal with my family and if I didn’t want him to leave then I would need to choose him or my family.

He has also told me I am the reason he has anxiety, that he doesn’t sleep with me because He is worried I will be woken. ( he has the bed now) That I always need to be right and nothing is ever how he wants things. That I’m lazy. That I still look a little overweight ( I have lost 20kga this year).

In saying all this he is ASD suffers from bad anxiety and depression so I carry on with what needs to be done. Thankfully their are days be is the most gentle, kind and sensitive man I have ever known

My ex said I have orangutan titties because I have very tubular breasts that are long and flat. I was 16 when he said it and it stayed with me.

A a hole in my class said my mum was ugly when she picked me up from primary school. She is not and he is some loser druggie now but it is mean

DH told me I have no personality. Turns out he meant I was not aggressive enough in arguments and not quick enough to stand up for myself. I still don’t feel the need to change that and am fine with how I am. Even though I know it’s not what he meant, it still makes me sad he said it like that.

My husband told me to go jump off a cliff. We have been together for 15years, don’t think I will ever forget that statement.

A drunk guy at the servo said 'look at that fat ugly bitch' when I was paying for fuel one night after work. That stung really badly.

Brother told me i shouldn’t have kids.
Irony he is not even allowed to see his, and I have been with my husband for 20 years, with 2 step and 2 of our own.

My ex said I was fat for 170cm
I weighed 60kg

When I was around 16 I had a guy tell me that I was the ugly one in my friends group. It still stays with me now because I know I’m not pretty

Blah blah blah She's useless.

Useless. Like I was a cracked gravy boat.
Looking back I'm more pissed off by it. But at the time it was so upsetting.
Why the fuck would he assume that any human (especially a 15 year old girl) would be of use to him? Arrogant fuck.

I was at a pub, I hadn't been drinking, a very drunk man swayed and wabbled over to me and said you are sort of attractive. Then stood there expecting me to talk to him. I actually thought it was funny, because he had no chance even if he hadn't said that. I didn't bother saying anything back because it would have gone over his head.

My ex when he left me: ‘I didn’t cry when my dad died so don’t expect me to cry over you’. We were together for 10 years. probably the second worst thing he ever said to me was years before when he said soon after we started dating ‘ you’re the biggest girl I’ve ever been with’. At the time, I was probably around 65kg, so I wasn’t huge. He was just an arsehole. Took me years to see it. Love is blind!

Mine was you don't interact with family enough, you don't come to enough of my games etc. He was basically just comparing me to his ex girlfriend all the time & wanting me to be her. They got back after us & broke up again - apparently she was perfect enough either. Sucked in fucktard.

Everything my dad says to me, never been good enough for him! There’s always hidden meaning behind his smart remarks about my weight, job, kids, where I live. And he wonders why I can never make time for him 🙄