View other questions
What do you think of people inviting themselves to come on your holiday?
Answered 5 years ago
My brother has invited himself on our first ever major family holiday to the states next year along with his whole family. Now I don't even want to go! Im so stressed about it and crying. First world problems I know! I feel so guilty for feeling like this but I am stressed around him at the best of times as he's not easy to get along with, wants everything his way, his wife is a diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder and they argue constantly. It's my family's first time overseas ever! I dont want to save for a year just to have a nightmare stressful holiday. I also like quietness and calm not chaos, i need alone time every day to process and don't know how we will negotiate around a group of 14 people travelling together! What would you do? Would u speak up and say this was supposed to be a special holiday for immediate family only or suck it up? I don't know why people think it's appropriate to invite themselves along?
Have an answer?
This question has been closed and is no longer accepting answers.
Answers
An unexpected error has occurred, please try again shortly.
ANSWER
5 years ago
Be honest, have the holiday YOU want.
Replies
REPLY
5 years ago
Absolutely, end it now and don’t give them any itinerary info. Travel puts extra stress on the group dynamic.
REPLY
5 years ago
Yes people need to speak up rather spend their lives complaining others are ruining their fun.
ANSWER
5 years ago
Thanks guys I'll try to find the courage to speak up. I don't want to save all that money for a holiday we will hate. I'm not the type who likes being in a big group even if all was well and happy I like small gatherings and just being with my little family. I didn't know if it was normal to invite yourself on someone's major trip it's weird to me to be truthful
Replies
REPLY
5 years ago
Oh it's weird, and rude. I usually suggest face to face for sorting things out, but in this case I'd say do it any way you can, just be sure to do it! Write a text message, get it sent!
REPLY
5 years ago
I am totally like you and can think of nothing worse. Say something or lie, just rescue your holiday!
ANSWER
5 years ago
I don’t care what anyone says, I would never be able to actually say to my brothers face, I don’t want you to be part of our family holiday” I think no matter what way you put it, it wouldn’t be received well. So I wish you luck if you do speak up and hope you can find a soft subtle way to discuss it.
Replies
REPLY
5 years ago
I have to agree. There no delicate way to say it
REPLY
5 years ago
Hi *brother*. I'm sorry this is going to be a bit awkward. I know we were discussing your family joining us on our holiday and we were all caught up in the excitement, however we have been talking about it some more and have decided as this is our first big holiday overseas, we would like to do it with just us as a family of 4 (Or however many you are). We hope you understand.
ANSWER
5 years ago
Who does that???
ANSWER
5 years ago
I would tell him you are cancelling, and rebook and do not share any information with them.
I think with your description of him and his wife I would NOT go on holiday with them. It will totally ruin it for you.
My exs daughter was narcissistic, anti social personality disorder.
Was just a walking nightmare.
They create chaos to make themselves the center of attention, and if you are on an overseas trip with one, you are trapped. You cant walk out.
All that money spent for no benefit to you ...... NO NO NO.
I think with your description of him and his wife I would NOT go on holiday with them. It will totally ruin it for you.
My exs daughter was narcissistic, anti social personality disorder.
Was just a walking nightmare.
They create chaos to make themselves the center of attention, and if you are on an overseas trip with one, you are trapped. You cant walk out.
All that money spent for no benefit to you ...... NO NO NO.
ANSWER
5 years ago
Definitely speak up, dont let them ruin your holiday.
ANSWER
5 years ago
You need to speak up. No way would I spend money on a holiday I know I won't enjoy. And if he gets pissed off about it, oh well, hopefully that will mean he won't invite himself along next time!
ANSWER
5 years ago
Let him buy tickets
Last min change your landing destination
Last min change your landing destination
Replies
REPLY
5 years ago
^oooooooh sneaky. I love it 😍
ANSWER
5 years ago
If either of my siblings (and their families) invited themselves on one of our holidays I would think it was great but we all get along pretty well...in your case though, you need to speak up and tell your brother that this holiday is really important and special to you and you want to share it just with your little family. Maybe you guys can meet up over there for a night somewhere and do something fun with all the kids (especially if all the kids get along well, they would probably love to catch up with their cousins and do something fun).
ANSWER
5 years ago
You can either tell him it's a special holiday just for your family, or change the trip to another time you know he can't go, or destination he doesn't like. Don't suck it up & go. They'll ruin your holiday.
I do understand. I'm like you & my in-laws were hinting to go with us somewhere next year (they want me to do all the work). DH was thinking it was a marvelous idea so I switched his interest to a different destination they would never want to go. Sounds underhanded but if you knew my in laws you'd understand completely why it's a 'hell no!'
I do understand. I'm like you & my in-laws were hinting to go with us somewhere next year (they want me to do all the work). DH was thinking it was a marvelous idea so I switched his interest to a different destination they would never want to go. Sounds underhanded but if you knew my in laws you'd understand completely why it's a 'hell no!'
ANSWER
5 years ago
Yes you need to speak up and prepare yourself for any fallout. Agree with a positive, crying won’t fix it. Sounds like he doesn’t care about your feelings. Make a stand and then get on with getting excited about your trip.
ANSWER
5 years ago
Are you in planning stage or have tickets been bought? The holiday is too important for it to not meet some of your major goals.
You have a few options. 1) go as planned, with brothers family. 2) Fess up, tell brother you've been planning this as a special family holiday to bond & go were the feeling takes you & not need to keep a whole group happy. 3) Tell a white lie & say you can't go anymore, work or health reasons. But continue to plan & go anyway.
I have traveled with a group & it was great. I've also traveled with people who like to splash cash around eg whole table food & drink bill, when not really fair on all.
You have a few options. 1) go as planned, with brothers family. 2) Fess up, tell brother you've been planning this as a special family holiday to bond & go were the feeling takes you & not need to keep a whole group happy. 3) Tell a white lie & say you can't go anymore, work or health reasons. But continue to plan & go anyway.
I have traveled with a group & it was great. I've also traveled with people who like to splash cash around eg whole table food & drink bill, when not really fair on all.