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What to do when your child absolutely, passionately LOVES an extracarricular activity, that you absolutely detest??

Answered 4 years ago

My 13 year old does dance. Up until this year, it was 1 hour a week with an end of year performance. This dance company was bought out by another dance company and now it's full on!! 3 lessins a week, multiple comps, so much $$$ being outlayed for costumes and accessories etc. I HATE it! I don't know any of the other parents (we live further away than most of the students) I'm dreading comps as I cant do hair and make up etc. None of it is my scene at all. Im not a 'dance mum'. I hate the assumed attitude that our lives will revolve around dance and that we HAVE to be available for everything on their calendar. I'm getting quite resentful of it. But my daughter LOVES it - it's exactly what she has been wanting to do for years. She is really good too. I'm happy to take her to lessons etc, but I'm not at qll interested in the rest of it and quite stressed and anxious about it all!


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ANSWER
4 years ago
You suck it up. That's what you do.

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REPLY
4 years ago
👍👍

REPLY
4 years ago
💯 Think about it this way she has a passion for something that’s sometimes difficult for kids.

ANSWER
4 years ago
Set a boundary, tell her how many lessons a week she can do. Set a budget of how much you are willing to spend. If she doesn't like it can get a job and pay it all.

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REPLY
4 years ago
I love this answer. At 13 she’s definitely old enough to have this conversation.

REPLY
4 years ago
I agree with this.

REPLY
4 years ago
I agree, talk to her about it. I was only about 8 when my parents told me I had to decide between ballet and tennis, as they were no longer going to pay for both. I picked tennis 🙂

ANSWER
4 years ago
Can you find another company that has good teaching but is more relaxed about concerts etc? Or maybe another style? My 2girls do dance but they do hip-hop and 'acro' styles which are relaxed about costume and only 2 concerts per year. They don't do ballet even though they would like to because its just not realistic. I have 4 kids and I have to balance my time between all of them. my girls are 8 &9 though so slightly different to a `13 year old

ANSWER
4 years ago
You stick with it until the end of the year. Then take a break for a year. If she absolutely must do dance, she can step back and find a more relaxed schedule for it.
I agree with you about the expectation that it should be the main focus for your whole lives. Fuck that I have other shit to do too. My daughter does cheerleading and I fucking hate how many unexpected expenses there are. My son does football (they're twins so I already expect to have to spend a shit tonne on everything) and its fucking delightful how upfront it all is. Pay X amount to play for the season, and occasionally bring after game snacks. Fuck yeah.
Next year they'll be doing a language class instead of sports. Its too hectic otherwise and the constant need for cosmetics and poms and hair shit is too much. Where's the life balance? Plus, it's cute as hell hearing them randomly burst into French mid conversation (they have been learning it at home too).