Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

My husband goes out with his mates (no problem with this). But are 12 hours binge drinking sessions normal? He doesn’t say where he goes or have any stories to tell from the night out. He doesn’t say anything unless I ask and then makes it sound as though I’m nagging. Last night (this morning) he got home at 6am. Do other husbands/ so’s do this? Should I just accept it and say nothing?


Got an Answer?

Answers (11)

No that is not normal. 12 hour drinking sessions? Either he has Gotten so blotto he has no memory of what happened. Or he doesn’t want you to know. His becoming defensive when he asks suggests to me he doesn’t want you to know.

It's a no from me.
You set the standard for how you will be treated and this is doormat level.

Doesn't sound normal to me, especially if he is doing it often. If it was a once off for a bachelor party or something I'd be more understanding, but the way you've described it sounds like too much. Are they trying to relive the glory days or something? Also that must be expensive!

How old are you guys? Did you get married young? It’s not really what I’d consider typical husband behaviour. I mean it’s fine for your hubby to hang with his mates, but 12 hour drinking sessions every weekend is too much! Especially if he’s in his 30’s or older.

My partner is 46 and does this sometimes. It with mates he has known since high school.
They play pool, ping pong , footy during these benders. It usually starts with a bbq, they are big meat eaters. They usually have another bbq feed around 2 or 3 and another at daylight.
Eating so much they are never usually written off drunk, they are big blokes too so can easily handle 12 hour benders.
When it’s at our place I usually cook the Breaky so mines not charcoal. As long as they don’t skinny dip in the neighbours pool anymore They are always welcome here.

Oh and fireworks have been banned too lol

Yeah they are big kids, they have heaps of fun though!
If we marry the stag do will have to be at least a month before the wedding, maybe two!

 I reckon our partners are lucky men, I feel the same as you!!
helpful (2) 
 The difference is your partner is open about it, you know where he is and mostly what he is doing.... hers are not!
helpful (3) 

You could have a crack at it yourself & see how he likes it

My husband would be served divorce papers if he acted like this. 12 hour bender. Don't think so. Kick the prick out.

 Your disrespect for the institution of marriage is worse than his behaviour.
You are a disgrace if you'd leave a marriage over that. Especially if you have kids. No wonder so many men cheat on their wives if they're suffocated the way you advocate.

helpful (0) 
 Different responder.. not worth a reply
helpful (1) 
 ^ Of course 😂 seriously. I hope you enjoyed the dress and party. That's what your marriage was about, right???
helpful (1) 
 You really want to start a fight by making demeaning comments and I’m not sure why. I’m just another mum on here, exhausted from the weekend like you. I agree, marriage certainly isn’t about a dress and a party, but to a lot of people it is about mutual respect and and love for eachother. If a partner is going out and not being open with the other about what, where and more importantly why, one wonders if it respect even exists. One also wonders about the stress it puts on the other person to deal with the day after, while distant husband is sleeping I imagine. Op asked if it was normal, response was in their house it would signal the end of a relationship.
helpful (5) 
 Isn't it great that we don't have to put up with that crap now days!
helpful (1) 

Not normal and damn well wouldn't and shouldn't be happening

My husband doesn’t even enjoy going out with blokes. We usually catch up got dinner as families he prefers that.