Got an Answer?
If he cheats with you he will cheat on you
And an incorrect one at that
My husband had a long term affair/relationship with another woman. His intention was to leave me. We went through HELL and once I accepted what was inevitable he suddenly changed and started seeing me differently again and finally came clean and chose me over her. He's been amazing in the years since then and ive never felt he wished he had chosen her instead. He did a lot of counselling to deal with his past/childhood as another posted said with her husband. I also went to counselling and we did some joint counselling. We're not perfect but i think we are better and stronger than we ever were. The other woman did leave her long term partner to be with my husband as she couldnt handle the guilt etc - they had been high school sweethearts. Her ex apparently has never been told about the affair and has moved on. No idea what her life is like now and i dont want to know, couldnt care less as long as she's out of our lives and stays out.
Because the affair partner only meets one or two of your needs while your partner fulfills the other 4.
Yep. I got involved with a married man, he ended up leaving her and we’ve been together since, 10 years this year.
It’s not something I did on a whim, I battled internally for a long while before anything happened with him. I’m not proud of How the whole situation went down, I do have empathy about it but was fate I believe, we just have this crazy electricity between us and connect on a really deeply emotional level. It’s still the same as it was when we first met. It was meant to be.
I mean.. the unnecessary heart break.. why? That's what I don't get about cheaters, I'd have to hate someone to do that to them.
My mums first husband (they had two kids together) had an affair with her best friend while my mum was in hospital on life support after a car crash in which he was driving, he had the divorce papers ready for when she woke up and still now... 30 something years later is with the side piece.
My mum thought she had a perfect marriage, he told her he had hoped she would die so she wouldn't get any of his money, he was/is obscenely wealthy.
After that my poor mum ended up with my dad who spent all the money anyway and was a raging violent alcoholic and even so, she was fiercely loyal (and too insecure), she stayed with him until he drank himself to death.
Now she is old and alone.
In short, yep.
My friends dad had an affair. I dont know much about it as it was a long time ago, before we were friends, but he came back to his wife and they have been together ever since.
My friends mum had an affair YEARS ago, like almost 40. She left her husband and has been married to the guy she had an affair with ever since
Why don't you ask him??
My husband had an affair too.
His was his messed up childhood and mental health issues and him being a tool.
He was chasing something else cos he was never happy with what he had.
The affair made him see how frighten good he had it and how Iv become better than just a peice of a*s who looks good to his friends.
(And I was a total package and still am. My body is in great shape after kids Iv got olive skin so I look way younger, I snowboard skate and surf with him still, I'm own a really great company that supports our family I come from an awesome family, our kids are little legends and parents dream kids, we've actually won the lottery once-I won 480k off a scratchie- and I already came from a wealthy family and had my high paying buisness, he doesn't work, I only work 15/20 hours a week we holiday overseas 3/4 times a year.)
This kid had it all.... but people get stuck in their own issues and their own ways that have been set since childhood.
He since saw even though this girl was a young version of me, without the responsibility, she also didn't come with the loyalty, the connections we spent 20 years forming, it was me who held him through his lowest times.
To sum up haha
Truely though OP it's all relative one persons cheating story is different to another's. In my case he didn't leave because the reason he was cheating was for validation, that he wasn't this guy "tied down" and forced into monogamy (when in actual fact it was him who pursued me for it, and me who initially withheld)
Just from being from a messed up family, his dad is currently dating someone 2 years younger than us. That was his childhood. men have lots of women, the most beautiful woman gets the biggest high five. Then all his mates were the same way, he grew up in a culture in his country that you're just not faithful.
Meeting me challenged every part of him. Seeing my dad love the women in his life well changed him.
Love is never simple. OP if he stayed with you it's because there was depth.
My point with my story was, it doesn't matter if you're the "downgrade" as you can see you can "have it all" and men still stray (continued)
Before my husband I dated a wonderful man. The sort of guys who's just an all round good guy. I still know him and he is just the perfect family guy, he adores his wife and she's just lovely, he's just a catch.
But you see I left him, something just didn't sit with me, after 6 years I left this guy who wanted to marry me who I KNEW would be an amazing husband, father, son in law ect:
And then I fell for my husband who I knew had issues who it would be an uphill fight.
I resisted him knowing this but just couldn't fight it. I couldn't not go there. My ex was so perfect on paper and in real life. He still is, and him and his wife a so stupidly in love it's adorable.
I broke his heart at the time. But it just wasn't the right fit, maybe if I was that way inclined I would have cheated on him.
My long winded point is the heart wants what it wants
Yeah my grandfather cheated in my grandmother for years and eventually left her for the lady he was having an affair with. Hes with her still to this day.
I wouldn’t t say always, but it does happen. A friend of my mother had an affair with someone else for many years and eventually he left his wife for her. And they have been married now for 20 years.
Who knows why your husband came back to you if you don’t think you’re that much of a catch. Maybe he realised the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Or he just wanted the taste of a younger no more attractive person before settling for you. I don’t know. People roam for many reasons.
I hope my fb doesn’t leave his wife for me.
He only sees me when I am stripping down to my slightly too tight honey birdette get ups, I love being spanked and choked while having rough sex. Don’t want him seeing me in my pjs and slippers drinking tea or cooking for him often.
I cook him late lunches of steak and vege in my sexy get ups, wouldn’t be happening if we co habituated.
I pretend I would love it if he could do these things every night with me
In a relationship I love long sex sessions and spontaneous quickies. Pull my shorts to the side bend me over, grab my hair, pull my shirt up to grab my breasts all in front of a mirror kinda sex. 10 seconds to redress, trip to the loo to tidy up and get on with my day.
I don’t think he would keep up with me to be honest. Guys think they want a lot of sex until they meet a girl that does.
Problem is with side pieces they get all the bedroom action and often think that’s going to be everyday action, life happens in between though...
I don’t get this at all
I guess it depends on the situation. My husband had an affair and left because she got pregnant, we got back together just before the baby was born. Now my kids have a little step sister.