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Do people leave their husbands/wives for their side piece?

Just been reading all the affair posts, which makes me wonder, does anyone actually leave their husbands or wives for the side action?
I had a partner who had an affair with this gorgeous young girl, obviously I was devastated, but he ended it with her and came back to me even though I'm older, heavily overweight, we have no children (i can't have his children) so he didn't stay for that.
What makes people stay? If they are so unhappy to cheat anyway, why don't they leave?


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Answers (13)

If he cheats with you he will cheat on you

 Such a blanket statement
And an incorrect one at that

helpful (2) 
 I disagree, a person at work cheated on his wife divorced her (they had 3 kids) with a work colleague and they are together now with 2 kids and another on the way. He is so happy now and not cheating.
helpful (0) 
 Yeah cause he will tell his work colleagues if he is cheating right?
helpful (5) 

My husband had a long term affair/relationship with another woman. His intention was to leave me. We went through HELL and once I accepted what was inevitable he suddenly changed and started seeing me differently again and finally came clean and chose me over her. He's been amazing in the years since then and ive never felt he wished he had chosen her instead. He did a lot of counselling to deal with his past/childhood as another posted said with her husband. I also went to counselling and we did some joint counselling. We're not perfect but i think we are better and stronger than we ever were. The other woman did leave her long term partner to be with my husband as she couldnt handle the guilt etc - they had been high school sweethearts. Her ex apparently has never been told about the affair and has moved on. No idea what her life is like now and i dont want to know, couldnt care less as long as she's out of our lives and stays out.

Because the affair partner only meets one or two of your needs while your partner fulfills the other 4.

 What needs?
helpful (0) 
 Sex, affection, financial stability, physical attraction, emotional support...
helpful (1) 

Yep. I got involved with a married man, he ended up leaving her and we’ve been together since, 10 years this year.
It’s not something I did on a whim, I battled internally for a long while before anything happened with him. I’m not proud of How the whole situation went down, I do have empathy about it but was fate I believe, we just have this crazy electricity between us and connect on a really deeply emotional level. It’s still the same as it was when we first met. It was meant to be.

 I don't know how you can love a man that doesn't even have the courtesy, courage or respect to leave his wife with peace and closure before pursuing someone else.
I mean.. the unnecessary heart break.. why? That's what I don't get about cheaters, I'd have to hate someone to do that to them.

helpful (6) 
 I would say what more likely happened is she found out and left him so you got her leftovers
helpful (2) 
 Mmmm sounds like a comment from someone who is bitter, maybe he just found the woman he yearned for and went for it.
helpful (2) 
 Ha! She definitely didn’t leave him, she still makes mention of how he walked out on her.
helpful (0) 

My mums first husband (they had two kids together) had an affair with her best friend while my mum was in hospital on life support after a car crash in which he was driving, he had the divorce papers ready for when she woke up and still now... 30 something years later is with the side piece.

My mum thought she had a perfect marriage, he told her he had hoped she would die so she wouldn't get any of his money, he was/is obscenely wealthy.

After that my poor mum ended up with my dad who spent all the money anyway and was a raging violent alcoholic and even so, she was fiercely loyal (and too insecure), she stayed with him until he drank himself to death.

Now she is old and alone.

In short, yep.

My friends dad had an affair. I dont know much about it as it was a long time ago, before we were friends, but he came back to his wife and they have been together ever since.

My friends mum had an affair YEARS ago, like almost 40. She left her husband and has been married to the guy she had an affair with ever since

Why don't you ask him??

My husband had an affair too.
His was his messed up childhood and mental health issues and him being a tool.
He was chasing something else cos he was never happy with what he had.
The affair made him see how frighten good he had it and how Iv become better than just a peice of a*s who looks good to his friends.
(And I was a total package and still am. My body is in great shape after kids Iv got olive skin so I look way younger, I snowboard skate and surf with him still, I'm own a really great company that supports our family I come from an awesome family, our kids are little legends and parents dream kids, we've actually won the lottery once-I won 480k off a scratchie- and I already came from a wealthy family and had my high paying buisness, he doesn't work, I only work 15/20 hours a week we holiday overseas 3/4 times a year.)
This kid had it all.... but people get stuck in their own issues and their own ways that have been set since childhood.
He since saw even though this girl was a young version of me, without the responsibility, she also didn't come with the loyalty, the connections we spent 20 years forming, it was me who held him through his lowest times.

To sum up haha seem like a catch....wanna get a coffee sometime 😉 hehe
helpful (7) 
 Woah you are like the ultimate woman! I wish I was u. And you also know yr worth in all ways that's awesome chick
helpful (1) 
 😂 thanks ladies.
Truely though OP it's all relative one persons cheating story is different to another's. In my case he didn't leave because the reason he was cheating was for validation, that he wasn't this guy "tied down" and forced into monogamy (when in actual fact it was him who pursued me for it, and me who initially withheld)

Just from being from a messed up family, his dad is currently dating someone 2 years younger than us. That was his childhood. men have lots of women, the most beautiful woman gets the biggest high five. Then all his mates were the same way, he grew up in a culture in his country that you're just not faithful.

Meeting me challenged every part of him. Seeing my dad love the women in his life well changed him.

Love is never simple. OP if he stayed with you it's because there was depth.
My point with my story was, it doesn't matter if you're the "downgrade" as you can see you can "have it all" and men still stray (continued)

helpful (0) 
 There's is probably a souls connection with you. Something deeper that ties you two together. It's the old saying love is blind.

Before my husband I dated a wonderful man. The sort of guys who's just an all round good guy. I still know him and he is just the perfect family guy, he adores his wife and she's just lovely, he's just a catch.
But you see I left him, something just didn't sit with me, after 6 years I left this guy who wanted to marry me who I KNEW would be an amazing husband, father, son in law ect:
And then I fell for my husband who I knew had issues who it would be an uphill fight.
I resisted him knowing this but just couldn't fight it. I couldn't not go there. My ex was so perfect on paper and in real life. He still is, and him and his wife a so stupidly in love it's adorable.
I broke his heart at the time. But it just wasn't the right fit, maybe if I was that way inclined I would have cheated on him.

My long winded point is the heart wants what it wants

helpful (5) 

Statistically it is very rare for the cheater to leave.

Yeah my grandfather cheated in my grandmother for years and eventually left her for the lady he was having an affair with. Hes with her still to this day.

I wouldn’t t say always, but it does happen. A friend of my mother had an affair with someone else for many years and eventually he left his wife for her. And they have been married now for 20 years.

Who knows why your husband came back to you if you don’t think you’re that much of a catch. Maybe he realised the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Or he just wanted the taste of a younger no more attractive person before settling for you. I don’t know. People roam for many reasons.

I hope my fb doesn’t leave his wife for me.
He only sees me when I am stripping down to my slightly too tight honey birdette get ups, I love being spanked and choked while having rough sex. Don’t want him seeing me in my pjs and slippers drinking tea or cooking for him often.
I cook him late lunches of steak and vege in my sexy get ups, wouldn’t be happening if we co habituated.
I pretend I would love it if he could do these things every night with me

 How long has it been going on?
helpful (0) 
 Almost two years
helpful (0) 
 I am pretty sure he realises that all our time together wouldn’t be like that if we were together. It wouldn’t be that far from it but not the same.
In a relationship I love long sex sessions and spontaneous quickies. Pull my shorts to the side bend me over, grab my hair, pull my shirt up to grab my breasts all in front of a mirror kinda sex. 10 seconds to redress, trip to the loo to tidy up and get on with my day.
I don’t think he would keep up with me to be honest. Guys think they want a lot of sex until they meet a girl that does.
Problem is with side pieces they get all the bedroom action and often think that’s going to be everyday action, life happens in between though...

helpful (0) 
 Yep! I've been seeing my AP for almost a year. I do things like swallow every time which I wouldn't do for hubby 😂
helpful (0) 
 What’s an AP?
helpful (0) 
 Affair Partner
helpful (0) 
 Worst....acronym...ever 😛
helpful (0) 
 Why not swallow hubbies load if you will swallow someone else’s?
I don’t get this at all

helpful (3) 

I guess it depends on the situation. My husband had an affair and left because she got pregnant, we got back together just before the baby was born. Now my kids have a little step sister.

 Is that difficult to deal with or awkward in any way
helpful (0) 
 Yes, but is getting easier now. My husband works part time and usually sees his daughter during the week, and our kids see her after school. I work full time so I'm not here. I just make sure I'm very happy and positive if she is here on the weekends, so now it's just normal.
helpful (1) 
 They have a half sister, not step sister
helpful (0) 
 Good for you being good about it. I know it's not a child's fault but I don't think I could be happy lol. I'm just petty
helpful (1) 
 I try hard to not blame the child, I don't go out of my way to make the mums life easy though. My husband is the stay at home parent, (for all the kids) this works for my kids. It would have been better for my husband to get a full time job to help support the child so mum could talk a year off work, but that's not my problem. If I don't want the child here on the weekend she doesn't come over, mum can find someone else to look after her if she wants to go out.
helpful (0)