RED FLAGS
No way i would allow this.
Wipe them all out of your life, her, the good friend and your husband.

Yes, I would be pissed off

Relax. Don't make a fuss. Be happy your husband is a good man to be such a good friend to his mate by helping out his mates missus.

He's not helping her for her sake, he's doing it to be a good mate. And probably hoping his mate will help you if your he was away and you needed help.

Chill girl.

I think you're looking a bit too far into it. Why can't she wait until her boyfriend gets back? It's a bit much for her to ask your husband though. I would never, it's not his place. Father, brother, boyfriend or close friend. He should have just said he was busy. Too late now... you'll have to let him go. You'll just end up looking like a dickhead if you make a big deal out of it. Odds are they're legitimately going to look at a car & it'll be ok. If your worse fears do come true isn't it better to know your husband is capable of that, then to be always wondering if he's going to be running off with this woman?

This doesn’t sound very good to me to be honest. I get an uneasy feeling just reading what you’ve written....

You clearly don't trust your husband. There's your issue.

Look I’m not a psycho (meaning I probably am), but husband wouldn’t be taking time off work for her and would also be blocking her number.

I would nicely explain that you feel uncomfortable about the situation, she isn't a very nice person and not someone you want near any member of your family. You feel a bit hurt that he would give up the limited spare time to help her. You understand she is a friend's partner and you want to do the right thing by your friend but could he possibly suggest she looks at cars on her own, note a couple of them down and he can go and have a quick look on his own when he can and let her know what he thinks. This Will save him wasting an entire day off.

Be very very gentle and nice suggesting he goes on his own, then walk away and let him think about it. He will hopefully realise it's a better idea and won't take up so much of his time and don't mention him having an affair, or say anything that will turn it into a battle.

However if he goes and spends a day car shopping with her make the next few days of his life hell. Because you are completely right he should not go. But he probably doesn't want to, but can't say no.

Contd... she has nothing to do with me, but has my husbands number? She has no female friends. This is causing all sorts of triggers for me. When i asked why he didn't discuss it with me first and ask how i felt about it he said he did - he sent me a screenshot of their texts arranging it, he did not discuss it with me before arranging it. I dont want nor do i see why my husband even wants to spend time with and help someone that has been so horrible and abusive to me? And why can he find several hours for her and not me? Makes me feel like a piece of 💩

This is bordering on a Jerry Springer situation. Your husband is playing with fire.

And btw, i cant stand this whole ‘i need a man with me to buy a car bullshit’ 🙄 ive never taken a man with me to buy a car, she should be able to google what she needs to be looking out for if she dosnt know already. This is not 1977.

I would say you don't trust your husband.

He probably thinks he's doing right by his mate, but you seem overly concerned which doesn't really give me the feeling you trust your man

Any chance you can go along? Once you finish car shopping you and hubby can grab coffee or lunch? Just a suggestion. Some men are a little bit airy fairy and don’t really bother with all the female drama. In his mind when he agreed to help he was purely doing it out of support for his mates mrs.

Calling her a homewrecker is total bullshit. Your mate chose to cheat. They wrecked their own home.

But yeah Id be seriously pissed if my husband did this. he should support you.