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Shitty dad

Answered 4 years ago

I left my husband almost 18 months ago (he has always been a disinterested father) since April he has worked away and sees his kids for about 3 hours a month 😠 he has been home since last Wednesday for Xmas hols and hasn’t seen his kids yet!! The kids are pretty annoyed but would never say anything to him! What can I do?


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ANSWER
4 years ago
There is nothing much you can do... ringing, texting and talking won’t work unless he actually wants to make the kids his priority... talking from experience.

My ex is living it up as a single man with no responsibility, never sees the kids. The only positive is he pays his CS.

Just make sure your kids know that you are there for them always! I worry about how their absent father will affect them in their later years... but I cannot make him see his kids.

Replies

REPLY
4 years ago
^this 👍

ANSWER
4 years ago
I would let the kids think their dad is always working “away”. No point rubbing it in that their father can’t be bothered with them - and set them up for years of abandonment and confidence counselling. They will get used to you having no control over the fact that daddy is always “away working” and will sense something doesn’t add up. As they get older and realise that you have been protecting their feelings all those years, they will appreciate you more and stop seeking a relationship with their absent dad. 1 strong and supportive parent will always trump 2 angry, vindictive or absent adults in their lives.

ANSWER
4 years ago
In my experience I just stopped trying to get dad involved after trying for so long. I'm a much better mum because I just let go of the frustration. It's hard but that's the best thing I did for myself and the kids benefitted from me being less pissed off.

ANSWER
4 years ago
Can you send him a text saying hey kids asking about you do you wanna actually spend time with them? But then if he's been promoted and I guess if he still doesn't want to that is the problem. Mm

ANSWER
4 years ago
All you can really do is talk to him. Unfortunately you can’t force someone to be in their children’s lives. Then you keep being the most amazing mum you can be. My only other advice is to get some positive male role models in their lives. My kids deadbeat wasn’t there for them either so I got my friends and brother to be more involved in their lives, they still miss their father but they also know that one of their many uncles will take them out any time they want or will be there any time they need someone to talk to.

ANSWER
4 years ago
Ring him and tell him

ANSWER
4 years ago
Sadly babe he's a deadbeat dad. You can't make him show an interest in his kids. There are some people in this world that just don't appreciate lifes blessings. Good luck to your and your little ones xx