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Feeling lonely

Answered 5 years ago

I have been single for 9 yrs. I chose to be single for 7 yrs to focus on my kids, their well being, and pulling myself together after being left high and dry financially and emotionally by my ex. The past 2 yrs I decided I would love to have a man in my life. Have tried dating sites and real life. After meeting a guy and the second of time of seeing him, I wander off and go back to my own thing. Havent had a connection with anyone, except one man. He is lovely, we have become friends for over a year now and I can seeing myself being more than friends and in a long term relationship with him. But he doesnt want more than friends. I havent pushed anythong more with him and kept it as friends. Oh I oh so want this man. I have met up for coffee or dinners with other guys. But feel nothing except wanting to get away and find myself comparing them to this wonderful man. How do I get past the wanting more and comparing others? Or how do I get this man to want more with me?


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ANSWER
5 years ago
Men don’t want a needy person
See a shrink

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REPLY
5 years ago
At which point did Op say she was needy?
You are rude

ANSWER
5 years ago
There’s an art to flirtation I think.... do you feel confident, sexy/attractive? Do you guys hook up? Stop that if you do, give him time to chase you.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Unfortunately you just have to accept it. Just enjoy life, maybe find something you like doing, and distance yourself a bit from him.

ANSWER
5 years ago
He said he just wants friendship I guess he's just not that into u in that way. It's probably no rhyme or reason why chemistry works in funny ways. Just treasure the friendship and close the book on him as a potential bf

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REPLY
5 years ago
Its a tough situation. I am still single after years on my own. The dating has provided a couple of really good male friends, but no potential partner. But I would be very lonely without those friends. Its great to have them to talk to.

ANSWER
5 years ago
If he doesn’t want a romantic relationship after you’ve already expressed your feelings you need to distance yourself. It’s too easy to cling to someone with hope for something that won’t ever happen.
I was single for 4 years and fixed myself in that time. Now I’ve found someone I am falling in love with and I find myself having to stop the unrealistic expectations and selfish traits I picked up when I was single. It’s weird to share my bed and it’s strange to have someone else make plans, but now I’ve let go a little I am finding it easier.
With your friend you probably find it ideal because you can keep your routine while having your emotional needs met. It’s the best of both worlds.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Simple. You tell him he’s all you’ve dreamed of in a life long partner, can he give it a go with you, or if not, cut ties and move on. If you keep him around you you’ll always be thinking of him. It’s all or nothing baby

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REPLY
5 years ago
Agreed