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Am I being controlling?

Answered 1 year ago

With all the discussion on houses I thought I would ask about my situation. I have two rental properties, nothing fancy but the idea is to give one to each of my kids when they are around 21. The houses are held in a trust, so they won't technically own them so can't lose them if sued, go bankrupt or in a divorce settlement. The houses should be paid off before they get them, so they can live there, rent them out, rent rooms etc, but they can't sell them. A friend told me off because its too controlling, and unfair on future partners. I don't know if I am being unfair with the houses being unable to be sold or if its sour grapes on my friends part.


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ANSWER
1 year ago
I have a sister in law and I can almost bet that once my parents die and my brother recieves half of the assets through inheritence - she'll bye her time long enough not to be obvious, be gagging for a divorce and half of everything. You are smart.

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1 year ago
You can talk to your parents about it, they can put things in place to stop it happening.

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1 year ago
I think it is damn smart!

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1 year ago
agree. the partner can take half of what the child has accumulated themselves, but at least they still have 'mums' house as a back up. No way should that partner be entitled to half of what mum has essentially set up and paid for.

ANSWER
1 year ago
So, you own two extra houses in which your kids can live in, rent-free, from the age of 21, and that they will own them as part of your will?

I'm not seeing the issue here? I don't think it's controlling at all. They're essentially your houses that you provide to your kids to live in, that they'll eventually own.

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1 year ago
agree, they are yours so you do what you like. The kids get them later and that's a bonus but for now it's your business.

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1 year ago
Why don't you want them to sell it? What if they wanted to use the money from the house sale to purchase a house in a town or place they wanted to live? Are they expected to pay rates, insurance etc on the house once they get to a certain age? I think if they are they should be allowed to chose to sell it. What if they get a bad tenant and can't afford to pay for the upkeep.
I plan to do the same for my kids but they will be able to sell the house if they choose too. They won't know the house is theirs though until they are ready for the responsibility of the house or manage the money if the house was sold

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1 year ago
Yes they will be expected to pay for all expenses. If they can't manage it I will take care of it until they can. Its meant to be a bonus, if they want a house in a different area they can still buy one. The idea was to stop the house being up for grabs in a settlement. I will look at handing it over at some point so they can sell if they like.

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1 year ago
OP I like your idea. Your kids can and will still make their way into the market off their own backs like others and this is a bonus that is protected for now from disgruntled partners. Stick true to your guns. The kids are lucky you have and can do this for them.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I don’t know..I think this is strange personally. I would just give it to them in a will.. to me this sounds a little controlling but each to their own.

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1 year ago
They will have the option to just get the house in the will. Do you mind telling me why you think its strange?

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1 year ago
Its not strange this is how trusts work! Their kids will get the houses and the trust will grow and grow u r giving your kids and all the kids after an amazing future

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1 year ago
I like the idea, I don't know much of the details but it sounds to me as though a trust protects it from being half given away to a partner in a separation / divorce. Good, as it's not the partner's asset - you purchased it and paid it off etc.

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1 year ago
No keep it as it is. Its protecting your kids and your own hard wprk accumulating them and paying them off. Most marriages end in divorse so I would want to protect my kids from their partner taking their home too.

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1 year ago
They are very lucky to have parents who are able and willing to do this for them.

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1 year ago
I don't think this is being unfair or controlling. You are literally giving a house as a gift! If your children don't like the terms then stiff shit. Give me a house, I'll take good care of it! Haha. I don't really think it's any of your friends business and long term partners of your children will benefit from the house if used as a rental property or whatever as it will be generating income for their collective household, so I would classify that as a win, they can also use it as collateral when purchasing their own home should they choose to not live in the property. You sound like a smart, educated and thought out person, your children should be happy their mother is concerned for their financial health, especially in such hard times. Tell your friend to mind her business.

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1 year ago
They can't use it for collateral unfortunately. But thanks, if its not where they want to live they can rent it out.

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1 year ago
what if the expenses of renting it out are more than it makes? What about the tax implications.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I dont think so but I suppose you need to consider whether it could end up costing your kids money to maintain the properties down the track if they dont want to live there and cant rent them out. What about tax, will it affect how much they will pay in tax, how much for childcare etc down the track? If the answer to any of that is yes then you may not be helping them as much as you think. If the answer is no then go for it.

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1 year ago
Not controlling, smart move. If the partner doesn’t like it they can rent it out and use the proceeds however they want

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1 year ago
No offense but if I was a partner I wouldn't be into it. I'd want us to buy our own house of our choosing and make our plans. In all honesty it would probably be some geographical distance from you because you do seem to be a touch controlling.

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1 year ago
Lol, its about 10 minutes away from me. I'm not concerned about future partners, if someone was bothered by it then they are not worth a second look. There is no reason my kids can't buy houses with partners.

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1 year ago
Exactly right they can buy their own place with their partner anywhere they like. If I was a partner I would be like geez thanks for giving me a roof over my head to live in for free now I can use my money to invest even further and maybe try and do the same thing for my children. Many many people dream and work their whole lives to be mortgage free or even own their own home I wouldn’t be scoffing at a free one

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1 year ago
We are doing the same thing For our kids. Ours are still young but the houses will be paid off in the next 5yrs. They won’t even find out about tHem until they are in their 20s. They must still grow up work and value the dollar and how much things cost. You aren’t controlling you are smart and setting up your kids for their future. Your friend sounds a touch sour or jealous that maybe she can’t do that for her own kids. I think you will know when they are older if they are good or not so good with their money. If they are good they will appreciate the rent they get from the house and can use that to even buy themselves another house or invest further and if they aren’t so great than even better that they won’t be able to sell it and waste away that money that you worked hard to provide for them

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1 year ago
Thanks this is how I feel.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I think it’s a great idea . I guess to if the kids meet amazing partner’s and it’s definitely a forever thing then surely the arrangement can change and you decide that it can help them both . At the end of the day tho you have sacrificed for your kids no one else .

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1 year ago
I think if you’re going in with the intention of it being a gift and starter home then in future they should be allowed to sell to upgrade. You can still protect the asset this is what we have done.

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1 year ago
Thanks.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Keep the houses in the trust, they don't have to accept it they don't like it. Give them the option to take over the trust when they are 30 and able to decide for themselves. If they can sell they will probably either waste the money, or sell to buy a big house with their partner then lose it in a settlement.

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1 year ago
I like this idea.

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1 year ago
You’re controlling

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1 year ago
They are a gift... so what they can’t sell them who cares. Also for the “future partners” bloody bugger them who cares it’s not about them you ain’t giving them the gift, I think it’s good no money hungers will try and go for it during a divorce settlement! I think what you doing is great and so selfless. You’re friend is just being a bitter person honestly.

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1 year ago
Thanks

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1 year ago
Your 'friend' sounds jealous.