Give your cards to your mum

When I’m on a saving spree, I ask myself before each ‘not sure whether I should buy this or not’ purchase ‘need or want’ if it’s a need then I get it, if it’s a want then I bypass it. Can forego all spending but a good way to re evaluate and tighten up a bit.

I went through a tough time at work and felt really depressed about the situation I was in. I used to sit in the walk in wardrobe with my bedroom door locked, in tears and order stuff online. A few days later stuff would show up and I honestly couldn’t remember ordering it. My husband suggested I get help but I reasoned what I bought was equivalent to a good therapist. I left that job and have stoped spending. My advice find out the root cause of your problem and get rid of it. You can return items that is what I did with a lot of the stuff.

What sort of things are you buying? It might indicate why you're compelled to spend.

You need to find your motivation & put priorities firmly front & centre. Are you after a safety net? A house? A holiday? A combination of things?

Then, before you spend say 'do I need new shoes, or do I want to spend a day walking around Paris?'. 'Do I want this new thing, or wake up tomorrow knowing I've got savings?'

Delete afterpay type apps. Get debit, not credit cards so you can only spend what you have.

Have a budget that accounts for every dollar & transfer all money except expenses & spending money into named accounts, e.g. Bills, savings, holiday. Make them real. Spend from you bill account & you'll have to top up from your holiday account when bills arrive. Ouch!

You've got to WANT to stop spending, or you'll resent it and fail. Remind yourself how nice it feels to know you can afford to do the things you dream of, not be working to service debt or worrying when bills arrive.

One weird tip - clean out. Go minimalist. When you have a minimal environment you don't want to buy anything to clutter it up!!

I was the same then I read the barefoot investor, that’s where I found my motivation to start getting rid of my personal debt and start using my money more wisely . It’s a work in progress and I’ve only just started but have already started saving money and still have enough to get something if I want it within reason of course.

This isn't really a money issue. I assume you buy stuff because it makes you feel good.

I think what's really happening here is that you are using shopping as a way of avoiding some emotional pain or you have low self-esteem/low self worth.

Find a way to deal with the mental health stuff and you'll be able to then focus on the financial side down the track

Cancel all your afterpay/zip etc if you have it. Aim for at least every 2nd day to be ‘no spend day’. Skip food shopping this week and use up your stores, maybe next week too, cancel all email subscriptions to the place’s you shop, maybe allow yourself just one day a week/fortnight/month where you do online shopping then leave it at that. Just a few suggestions.

Budget, stop! Tell your partner, get help