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How to leave

I have 3kids and living in a house that is toxic
I need to move out to help me and to show my children that the way we are living isnt normal.
My soon to be ex husband is a narcissist. Everything bad or negative that happens or is happening in the relationship or family life is my fault.
Can anyone give some pointers or suggestions on what i could do to leave?


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Answers (5)

Get legal advice so you know what steps to take in what order, and what your rights are. It is hard, but you will feel so relieved when you are free of him.
Don't tell him what you are doing, just make the preparations, and then take the action.

When I was teaching, years ago, we could tell the state of a couples marriage through how their kids behaved.
As it was heading to split- up, the kids would be tense all the time, stop learning, or even regress. As soon as the split happened, and the kids were removed from the stress environment of one parent bullying or verbally or physically abusing the other, the kids would be cheerful again, and their learning would progress again. From the very first day too.
Many people don't realise the impact of warring parents on the kids, but we could see it first hand.
If you are seeing impacts on them now, it will only get worse.
Good luck and be strong.

Best advice, and speaking from experience, go to the police and get an intervention order in place to make you and children protected people, seek out your local domestic violence service and ask them to give you emergency housing and see a lawyer and get help sorting out finances (there is a place called women's legal services who can help you)

 Don't assume you can go into emergency housing, there is usually a waitlist
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Secret savings. Emergency escape plan.
Find family or friends support for when you do leave. Good luck. It's hard but stay strong

You could dust off your bike, ride it away.
You might need to give your kids a double dinky. Or triple dinky.

I don't really have an answer just want to say well done for being brave enough to leave xxx good luck mumma!!!!