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Random Flowers from Husband

I posted a few weeks back about feeling uneasy with hubby travelling for work (previous indiscretions which have been worked through) and I know the colleague he's with lets loose any chance he gets. Anyway, he's been in another country since Monday and is due home tomorrow. We've spoken once while he's been away and the occasional text. Then today I get home from work to a bunch of flowers on the doorstep from him. My first instinct is he's been up to no good and is feeling guilty. He has never given flowers randomly in the past just for birthdays etc. I know I should just appreciate that he even thought to organise this while overseas (and I do) but it just seems too out of character for him to do it from the kindness of his heart. I'm suspicious and I hate that I am. Do you ever really get over these feelings after being cheated on?

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Answers (7)

I don't think you do ever completely get over it. I still look for 'evidence' sometimes. My hubby also travels semi regularly for work for a week or so at a time. It's not easy. Maybe he's trying to show you that he understands you're uncomfortable with him being away and is trying to reassure you that he's thinking of you, loves you and everything is fine. It sucks being suspicious and rrading into things, never quite letting your guard down. If you have no other reason to be suspicious take it as a loving gesture. If there is other things that have got you suspicious or you have a gut feeling, try to talk to him calmly and non-accusingly about how you feel and why.

 Thank you!! What a wonderful answer. You are totally right, I don't think anything has has happened but my mind jumps to conclusions
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Maybe someone from work does the same thing and he is taking a leaf out of their book. Maybe he has told others about the problem and they suggested it. Put them in a lovely vase and make a big fuss about them. If you decided to work on it get on with it and do so! Move forward. Yeah it's hard but faking it till you make it and making the effort to be upbeat sure helps

So I have a few questions. You say he cheated..... how long ago? Just the once or multiple times? What were the signs back then? Guilty behaviours like random flowers, gifts, acts of kindness that were all out of character? Does he travel frequently without you? So, I guess the flowers could just be that he has missed you and wanted to show you, or guilt. It really is hard to say either way. And it must be very hard not to be suspicious. Unless there are other behaviours from him now that are making you suspicious, then I guess you just have to give him the benefit of the doubt. It must be tough building trust after a betrayal, and not seeing every little thing as a sign he's cheating. Hard not to confront him with every little thing to, but I suppose moving on would be impossible if you do. I hope it turns out to be nothing xx

 We're about 18months post 'indiscretion'
Its was online emotional affairs (I'm still not 100% believing that) there were no signs at the time and he's never been a big gift giver other then birthdays/Xmas etc. I don't think anything has happened but my irrational mind always leaps to these thoughts

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Maybe he knows that him being away gets to you and has sent you flowers to cheer you up before he gets home. I know when I get flowers it makes me smile and think about how much I love my man and makes me excited to see him. Enjoy the flowers. Good luck.

Maybe he and the guy he was with had a chat and suggested sending you flowers? Try not to always look at the negatives. He really could be genuinely trying..

Did your feeling subside now he has returned? I was just going to suggest to perhaps embrace the flowers and encourage him with truth, letting him know that you are still insecure but his gesture is a nice one on the way to you guys growing stronger if that could be the case

So he's been home since Friday night, has done nothing but play on his phone and sleep. Yay! This to me points towards guilt flowers not I missed you flowers 😩