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Should I offer no pressure for the bride to not have me as a bridesmaid as I'll be 38+4 weeks pregnant?

Answered 5 years ago

Hi, I am due to be the bridesmaid for our children's nanny in February.
She recently suffered a miscarriage of twins.
She doesn't know yet but I am actually 15 weeks pregnant. I don't have any sort of belly yet and haven't gained any weight. I usually don't pop until about 25 weeks though. We had twins in there but sadly lost one at 8 weeks. I haven't told anyone yet except my husband as I am still quite worried I might lose this one too as I have a history of first and second trimester losses.
I don't want her to worry that I'll go into labor early and miss out. But I also don't want to miss out. I was on bedrest with my other children due to my weight but I am half the weight I was so I worry about that. It's a wedding out of area also but it's only 5 hours there.
I'm also worried about telling her. Or her day being tainted by seeing me pregnant.
So how on Earth do you say "you can dump me from it if you want" without sounding like you want them too. I just want her to be happy


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ANSWER
5 years ago
I asked my sister to be my bridesmaid, purely out of obligation. I was so glad when she said she'd rather be a guest than in the party. I just told her I understood and that was the end of that 😁

ANSWER
5 years ago
My sister dropped me as bridesmaid because I was due a month before her wedding but I was going to ask to stand down anyway. I think once you tell her the due date it will be a no brainer, pretty silly on both sides to commit to a whole day at that stage.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I'd also mention that if you go earlier she'll be down a bridesmaid anyway

ANSWER
5 years ago
Regardless of all the things you mentioned, im sure the bride will be happy to ‘stand you down’ considering you will be sooooo close to giving birth... I wouldnt dream of making a 38.5 week preg lady be a bridesmaid! Torture! She will understand x

ANSWER
5 years ago
Just tell her the truth. She’s an adult and can make the decision for herself. I think you are creating an issue where there isn’t one.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I think you just say, that your pregnant, and that you don’t want to cause her any stress on what is going to be a magical day, with unforeseen going in to labour etc. with previous pregnancies you don’t know what to expect and she probably wouldn’t want you having to have the stress of adjusting your dress etc. be honest with yourself and her, I think you do want to sit this out personally from the guilt worries aswell

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REPLY
5 years ago
Also I think dumping yourself is better, if she asks you to still tell her to think about it and be firm. Then she will have the space to decide if she wants to fight for you or go the easier less stressful route for both of you