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First time “SiL” issues! What to do!!
Answered 5 years ago
My brother and I are very close, talk daily and basically best friends. He’s been pretty unlucky in love, he loves the crazies but I have ALWAYS made effort and got a long with his partners. He has a somewhat recent girlfriend, 6 months. She’s not been the nicest to our mum (Mum definitely not innocent either tho!). So anyway I was trying to get an idea on things she likes to buy her and my bro an experience gift, her attitude about it rubbed the wrong way and long story short we argued. During the argument she decided to throw some shade my way about money i had borrowed from my brother (before they were even together). I was absolutely livid, it’s none of her business and I actually work for my brother (he’s a small business owner) so I have worked off that money and again not her place! My brother agreed that she was out of line saying that to me and after a row she gave me a half assed apology which I accepted. But! Cont in comments
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ANSWER
5 years ago
If you and your Mum have a bad track record for getting along with his girlfriends then I'm going to guess you're not completely innocent here and may be just as much to blame than she is. Who gets into an argument with someone over something so petty? That would have taken both of you to argue to make it an argument, so you're both as bad as each other. Maybe just stay out of his personal life, if he's giving you the cold shoulder then that is his problem. Maybe he is angry at both of you for being so immature? Don't try and set him up with anyone, just leave him well alone. He is a grown man and does not need his family interfering with his personal life, well intended or not.
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5 years ago
I have got along with literally every other girlfriend, I’m actually still friends with a couple! Mum has got along with most. I know it was petty, I definitely had a shorter fuse than normal that day after being up late with a teething toddler. She is really passive aggressive and i couldn’t let it go that day and called her on it. I even asked him first if it was gonna be a problem for him and he said it was fine and he agreed so the cold shoulder is actually confusing. I said I wouldn’t set him up with someone in my other comment and that I got on with his exes in my original post, do you skim read or something?
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5 years ago
I’m all for questioning the op, but this op is pretty consistent here. I think the fact that she try’s, is thoughtful and caring should not be missed in assuming how she took on this situation. Still 5/5 in my books ops.its a good question to ask, but I think she has answered again, very fairly
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5 years ago
Thank you pp! I agree about questioning ops lol I do it on posts to. Get irritated when people don’t read properly lol my bad! X
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5 years ago
You referred to them all as crazies so thought that meant you weren't too keen on them, but made the effort anyway. Most people can tell if someone doesn't like them even if they're being nice so maybe the new girl has picked up on it and got her hackles up? If he is angry with you over nothing then I agree it is probably something she is saying. You're probably better off being on her good side anyway, the more you try and make him see what he is like the more she will pull him away and you do not want that. As much as it will hurt to do I think you should apologise to them both and start again, whats the old saying keep your friends close and your enemies closer?
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5 years ago
^ thats how I read it too but obviously not the case
ANSWER
5 years ago
Family working together can usually work out any problems. Transient relationships should never be brought into family businesses. This is a huge NO that anyone with a family business will tell you. Just asking for trouble all over the place. Talk to your brother - sounds like he feels stuck between a rock and a hard place. Let him know you are fine with his GF, but you have concerns about her being an employee. Remind him of length if past relationships. Remind him she has only been around 6 months. Remind him any personal problems will be carried on at work. If you are not prepared to make a commitment to someone yet (marriage), then how can you be prepared to trust them in your life work? Once she is part of the family though, she will have dibs on your job and it will be better for you to work elsewhere.
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5 years ago
Thank you! This is exactly what I’m thinking!! When they fight it gets really toxic so if she was working for his business and they fought I just see it going really bad!! I honestly don’t trust her to handle his money. They’ve been together 6 months and slowly moved herself in to his house, lost her job and decided she didn’t need to get a new one and basically lives off him.. talking about a baby already. It’s too much, it’s pushy and presumptuous. When she said what she said to me and he told her it was out of line she threatened to leave him if he didn’t back her up and he said no you were over the line and she just changed her tune like that. But now he’s a bit off me. I get bad juju about it!
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5 years ago
He’s probably sulking cause she’s not giving out right now. I hope she takes her sparkly vag elsewhere
ANSWER
5 years ago
She was out of line saying it, but Your brother obviously thought it was her business enough to tell her.
I don't know what an experience gift is. But if he has lots of stupid girlfriends like this that come and go, why let it bother you if she'll be out of the picture eventually?
Maybe the pair of you arguing put him in an awkward place, and you know the saying, Happy wife, Happy life.
I don't know what an experience gift is. But if he has lots of stupid girlfriends like this that come and go, why let it bother you if she'll be out of the picture eventually?
Maybe the pair of you arguing put him in an awkward place, and you know the saying, Happy wife, Happy life.
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5 years ago
I know, I shouldn’t worry but I just have some
Bad vibes, like she is always making comments about them trying for a baby.. it’s been 6 months like calm down and the work thing and now getting in our personal business. I feel like she’s trying to trap him and my bro is desperate for that family unit that I think he’d risk it with the wrong one. Not that she has to be perfect just...I question her motives.
Bad vibes, like she is always making comments about them trying for a baby.. it’s been 6 months like calm down and the work thing and now getting in our personal business. I feel like she’s trying to trap him and my bro is desperate for that family unit that I think he’d risk it with the wrong one. Not that she has to be perfect just...I question her motives.
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5 years ago
You are probably right in most things. I would just be as open as you can to your brother. Tell him if he wants you out if the business then he should let yohim know ASAP. I reckon he is getting aware of her getting in between you both, and he’s not sure how to handle it. I hate these situations especially when you are really trying here and still the other woman comes and can’t control herself. Goodluck
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5 years ago
You’re probably spot on there. Because I’ve always got along with his gfs and put in the effort and helped talk him down when he’s been a Dbag etc so he’s prob lost on what to do because it’s new territory. I have REALLY tried with her, I’ve let so much go that I would normally pull people up on. The way she’s treated our mother at times.. lies I’ve caught her out on. It’s tough I don’t want to see him get hurt or taken advantage of.
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5 years ago
Yeah it’s sad.. she sounds like someone who would be difficult in the best of families, I feel for you
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5 years ago
Why would your brother tell her in the first place?
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5 years ago
It had been mentioned in front of her in passing before so I don’t know if she just knew from that, asked after hearing it or he told her. Either way tho, he can tell her whatever he wants but just because she knows about something doesn’t mean she gets to weigh in on it or throw shade tho
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5 years ago
Nah I'm fully getting crazy controlling wants to get in on the money honey gold digger creeper vibes.
There's honestly nothing you can do though that won't make it worse.
There's honestly nothing you can do though that won't make it worse.
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5 years ago
Glad I’m not imagining things!!! Can’t she just.,. Go away lol.
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5 years ago
Set your bro a honey trap, take him out, get him drunk and have a slutty friend hook in 😊
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5 years ago
Omg I actually have a friend I know he likes and she likes him lol! Totally possible but that’d make me feel icky
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5 years ago
Now my bro is giving me the silent treatment basically. I’ve asked him if he’s pissed about it He says no but i obviously know how he acts when he’s got the shits on!
Somewhat relevant to this incident is the fact that she recently lost her job and hasn’t looked for work but been trying to take over the job that I do for my brother (basically handling the money side of his business). I feel so off about this whole thing but I’m not sure if I’m being over protective And defensive or if i have legit concerns here?
Somewhat relevant to this incident is the fact that she recently lost her job and hasn’t looked for work but been trying to take over the job that I do for my brother (basically handling the money side of his business). I feel so off about this whole thing but I’m not sure if I’m being over protective And defensive or if i have legit concerns here?
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5 years ago
In a nutshell your bro is being p***y whipped. I don’t think you were out of line. It’s none of her business regarding the money even if they were together at the time you borrowed it. I think she could be jealous over your bond with her boyfriend and will find any way to “ mess” things up.
Imo I would leave it, keep acting normal with your bro, it will pass. The more attention you give it the more it will escalate. As for gf I guess you don’t have to love her but just tolerate her for the sake of your bro I guess and avoid talking about anything deep. Keep it light and casual.
Imo I would leave it, keep acting normal with your bro, it will pass. The more attention you give it the more it will escalate. As for gf I guess you don’t have to love her but just tolerate her for the sake of your bro I guess and avoid talking about anything deep. Keep it light and casual.
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5 years ago
Haha yes my first thought to! What, her vag shoot sparklers out of it or something?
Yeah that’s where I’m at with him , I’m acting normal, I’ve asked he said he’s fine so good let’s be fine then. He’ll either cop to being pissed or just get over it. I haven’t spoken to her since.
Yeah that’s where I’m at with him , I’m acting normal, I’ve asked he said he’s fine so good let’s be fine then. He’ll either cop to being pissed or just get over it. I haven’t spoken to her since.
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5 years ago
That’s a bad sign that she’s trying to move into your turf
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5 years ago
Lol turf? Not my turf, just trying to look out for him.
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5 years ago
I think she means your turf as in your job, not your brothers penis.
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5 years ago
HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! Oh right!
ANSWER
5 years ago
It seems as though parts are missing because it all does not make sense. What was the reason for the experience gift and was his business paying for that? Why is your brother suddenly upset that you borrowed money? Did he know you borrowed money off his business?
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5 years ago
The reason for the experience gift was because he’s had some bad luck this year, Murphy’s law type stuff and he was getting down about it so I wanted to boost his spirits with something fun to do. Was not coming out of business money at all. I do not touch his business money. He’s not upset about me borrowing money at all, he knows I worked it off it was her that made comment and the money was borrowed from him personally.