Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Dogs allowed but kids aren't

My sister is having her two Labradors at her wedding but my children cant come as she wants a "child free" wedding. I'm fucking livid!! since when do pets come before family????


Got an Answer?

Answers (12)

Get her a collar for her wedding gift lol.
F**k I crack myself up

helpful (0) 

Her wedding her choice. BTW I think it's stupid, but it's her wedding her choice, just like when she becomes a parent, it's her choice how she parents

I'm guessing she's the type of person to call a dog a 'fur baby'? That fu****g shits me that people compare an animal to a baby. No you don't love a dog more than you would a child, its a dog. For what it's worth I think she's an idiot, a rude one too. Can you take your kids to the ceremony and not the reception or nothing at all? That's really sad your sister didn't want family there.

 I'm guessing she's trying to send you a message. It is up to your genius to work out what it is.

Hint. It's not about you.

helpful (3) 
 I hate the fur baby thing too, and I openly say don't compare your animal to my child as there is no comparison. I am not politically correct and I don't care what their circumstance is, if you want a child foster one there are plenty of children who need good, stable, loving homes. Sorry it is sick and I won't indulge in their fantasies. How could they possibly understand? If something happens to my child I would be 100% responsible and rightly so, if something happens to their dog nobody gives a shit.
helpful (6) 

It's her wedding her choice. I understand this because the last thing you want on your wedding day is to be chasing after kids. At my wedding I will be having close children at ceremony - Mine and my sister's. (Small wedding anyway) but I dont think I will have my kids or kids at the reception as there will be drinking and adults letting loose.

 And I doubt the pets will be running free. Even if i think it nis a bit weird.
helpful (1) 
 Who will you have looking after your kids? Just curious to know as we had all of our family and close friends at our wedding, so there was no one avail to babysit. But we had our children at our wedding and I can't imagine doing it any other way. But ours was pretty laid back and no different to any other family get together.
helpful (0) 

To each their own. If you object, don't go. Animals cam be leashed, penned, or crated to control them if they behave disruptively. Children often run wild at these types of events. Not everything is appropriate for children.

I totally understand the "child-free" wedding scenario. Having her dogs there, meh... that's her choice, not something I would do. But I can definitely understand the child-free thing.

Doesnt sound like dogs are invited but kids arent. Shes having her dogs there. She hast invited everyones dogs. Lots of people have child free weddings. I had kids at mine but im pretty inclusive generally and think along the lines if 'the more the merrier'. I totally respect other child free weddings ive been to and go and enjoy the night off! I dont see it as a big deal. Sometimes its a pain if you cant get a babysitter but you usually get plently of notice and can work something out. Babies are an exception though. I yook my baby to 2 weddings without even mentioning it yo the bride

My sister had a child free wedding which meant that my kids her niece and nephew didn't go. Now she has her own kids she goes ape shit when they are excluded from not only family functions but friends ones as well.

 I honestly think t's something you don't really understand until you've got kids of your own.
helpful (5) 

Her wedding her choice. You can be mad but at the end of the day it's her wedding. Enjoy a night off.

I totally understand!! My sister in law got married in Rarotonga last year. We paid 8k to go. Our two kids (7 & 9) weren't allowed to attend even though the ceremony was on a public beach and people swam up and watched. My hubby wanted to not go but it wasn't worth the drama that would have occurred if we didn't go to his sisters wedding. He made it very well known to her that we were upset with her decision and not to expect any different when she has children. Just go, do what needs to be and leave.

 That's so sad 😔
helpful (0) 
 Yes it was sad. Our daughter desperately wanted to see her aunty in her wedding dress etc but no they wouldn't budge. They are also the only children in both sides of their families which makes it worse. I could understand if there were lots of kids cos what you do for one you have to do for all but nope total exclusion when random strangers stopped to watch and take photos. I also think its sad for her, wouldn't it have been nice to be given a horseshoe etc. Nevermind its all done now and when she has kids she'll realise how horrible it was.
helpful (1) 

My niece excluded my kids but allowed some kids on his side. I still went to the wedding but refused the tea ceremony. When she said you are invited to that, I said my limited understanding of Chinese culture is a tea ceremony is for close family members. I do not attend family things without my kids as they are part of my family, don't worry you will understand once you have your own children. When her baby was one month old my other niece was getting married and refused to allow her to bring the baby so she refused to go to the wedding. I said see now you understand and she agreed.

 Her baby was a month old. A bit different to toddlers/ school aged children,
helpful (1) 
 1 month old baby is completely different. You cant even compare that.

I stick by my childfree wedding. Only exception was a baby. A baby is attached to its mum or in a pram all night. Not the same thing as having a toddler or kids at all.

helpful (1) 
 Yes 1 month old completely different.
helpful (1) 
 I agree with you a baby is different to a school aged child but to invite kids on his side but not hers considering mine were the only ones was mean. Anyway karma always catches up.
helpful (1) 
 I'd prefer a kid over a baby. Babies just cry, at least kids can be entertained with bubbles or "special jobs" and they get everyone dancing 😁
helpful (0)