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What would you do
Answered 4 years ago
I need advice I feel like I am to close to the situation but I have always wanted to have kids which my husband knows we will of soon been married 8 years. He says he wants kids he talks about the things like taking them to soccer, teaching them to ride a bike ect but he always has a reason why we can’t try. He even said that cause of me being overweight I would need to loose weight first which is one of his recent things I s tart loosing weight he then complains cause I am loosing weight and he isn’t. I am really at a loss as to what to do I do love my husband but I am clucky and want kids no offence our fur child isn’t cutting it anymore
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ANSWER
4 years ago
Why do you want to burden your life with kids
Not all fun and games
It’s hard and exhausting
Your life will change and you can’t pop to the shops or lie down
Stay with your husband and enjoy your fur babies
Not all fun and games
It’s hard and exhausting
Your life will change and you can’t pop to the shops or lie down
Stay with your husband and enjoy your fur babies
ANSWER
4 years ago
Gosh u cant wait forever your eggs start dying off from your 20s how old are u if ur already married 8 years. It has to be now or within 2 years tell him at a max or u just leave and do it on yr own. Ppl think they can just decide to get pregnant then it happens but a lot of ppl it doesn't happen straight away anyway. What if thats u and youve already left it 8 years? And to say u need to lose weight first? Thats so cruel. And complete copout. Think he's scared to grow up
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REPLY
4 years ago
Just for correctness, Female fertility dips very slightly from 30 and more sharply from 35 then a lot more sharply after 40. Its actually rare for anyone under 40 not to be able to conceive solely due to their age, although the older you get it does tend to take a bit longer. There are other factors besides ease of conception that are worth considering for example your risk of congenital conditions does rise as you age, so Im not dismissing concerns of age just wanting to be factual.
I do think the advice to give him a 2 year window is very reasonable, and I agree the weight thing is a cop-out for him.
I do think the advice to give him a 2 year window is very reasonable, and I agree the weight thing is a cop-out for him.
REPLY
4 years ago
My mum had twins naturally in 1986 when she was 42
REPLY
4 years ago
I had seen a gno who said we would need ivf to conceive due to endo, pcos Plus someother issues he very much knows this but still won’t
ANSWER
4 years ago
Would it be a deal breaker for you not to have kids? If it is, you need to tell him that straight up and no more messing around. The weight thing is an excuse.
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4 years ago
I do love my husband greatly and don’t want to divorce or separate. He knows it is a deal breaker I am getting very frustrated he is that concerned about falling pregnant we haven’t had sex in 3 years there is no foreplsy only oral on him
ANSWER
4 years ago
That's the problem with planning...
ANSWER
4 years ago
Tell him its getting old and if he doesnt want kids and you do leave him. Never put your wants second. He sounds selfish and doesnt sound like he cares how you feel. It sounds as though he is stringing you along.
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4 years ago
If having kids was a dealbreaker I’d leave because he clearly doesn’t want kids despite what he says.
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4 years ago
I went through this, he just kept moving the goal posts. Eventually I achieved one of the goals and surprised him with already being pregnant.
ANSWER
4 years ago
There is never a perfect time to have kids. I'd tell him no more excuses, either give me a proper reason or let's get to it! If he still refused I'd be questioning whether it's ever going to happen and if it's a deal breaker.