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Joint custody help

Answered 3 months ago

I have 2 boys aged 7 and 5 who I share custody with my ex, he has them 4 nights a fortnight and 50% of school holidays
My 7 yo and I have always been really close but recently every night before he goes to his dad he gets really upset and cries because he does not want to leave me, I try and reassure him and have spoke about an invisible string that connects us as a family and he and I when we are away from each other, I have also told him I will be there for him if he needs me, whenever/wherever
He is also really close with my partner who I have been with for over 3 years
I know my 5 yo loves me too but he is ok to leave and is really close to my ex’s mum and dad who he my ex also lives with
I’m honestly at loss on what to do and every week I get so upset because I don’t want my 7yo to feel like I don’t want him or I’m sending him away
Please help

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3 months ago
Tell him to stop acting like a pansies

3 months ago
This may not apply to you or your situation because there has to be a lot of trust and strong coparenting between you two.

My sons father and I split when he was one.
He didn’t do overnights consistently with dad till he was 9/10.
He would see his father almost every day but just freaked out about sleeping (our son has always had anxious tendencies. So he would go with day the whol day have dinner bath ect and I would pick him up at 6:30 take him home read a book and put him in bed.

He would ask for random sleepovers but we never forced it.
He actually ended up choosing to live with his dad from 14-17...
but we’ve both shown and proven a lot of trust and always put our son first. He obviously was hurt but understood our sons needs.

Could he have a break but still spend the same amount of time?

Alternatively can you not increase the time he spends with his dad? 4 nights a fortnight isn’t a lot...
an afternoon then a dinner with Him in between the 2 day splits? Like a Wednesday?
Can he get them early before school and take them for breakfast ? There’s lots of ways to ensure the same time even if a sleepover isn’t involved for the time being

3 months ago
Sounds like separation anxiety. How is he once he gets to his dad’s house?

3 months ago
Beat thing you can do is have you and your ex sit down with your son together


3 months ago
Best sorry*