Got an Answer?
It really depends.
I wouldn’t expect 98% of my friends to “be there” for me. It depends what you’re asking of a friend and what “being there for you” means.
It’s way too ambiguous a sentence.
Yes my good times with most friends matter, but I also wouldn’t ask them for anything.
When my son passed away, though my closest friends were there for me, I also acknowledge they were grieving my son too, and it’s bloody hard to be around a mother who’s lost a child.
I was grateful for support but didn’t expect it.
I don’t know I always kind feel like I’m enough for myself. Anything over and above me is a blessing.
No, people only want you when they need you. As soon as people dont need you they let you go.
My friend of four years leant on me heavily when her nanna died. She was devastated. Her nan was 93 and had been in very poor health. My friend called me everyday crying for two hours about how much she missed her and how it affected her. I had a newborn who’d be crying for a feed but my friend wanted me to give her my full attention. She called day and night for a few weeks and I was there for her 100%. During one of our calls I told her my dad had just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had three months to live. I expected the same support id given her. Instead she replied with “ people get cancer everyday, doesn’t mean he’s going to die”, then went straight on to tell me about a new dress she’d bought her daughter. After that call she never contacted me again. It’s a horrible way to find out who your real friends are.
As for your so called friend, you deserve heaps better. I'd cherish a friend like you 💜
I agree that you learn who your friends are, however I’m not one to live in someone’s pocket. My idea of friends is to help and go out when asked. If I am asked for support and I help I don’t expect a favour or expect it returned I am self reliant, when people do step up I feel beyond humbled.
My ‘best friend’ of 30 years ditched me when the father of her kids passed away. They had a up and down relationship with plenty of dv along the way. I supported her through thick and thin. She was putting dvos on him two days before he passed, constantly seeking my support when the world rejected her.
Now he’s passed she is constantly posting happy times photos going on about how much she misses him on fb. Has become besties with people that didn’t want to know her when her live was full of drama. Now it’s a different kind of drama.
I also don’t have much respect with her jumping in and planning his funeral and claiming the whole de facto thing when it came to his super payout etc. 200k and nothing went into trust for the kids, she brought a 60k car amongst other stuff. They had been living separate for two years. She claimed single parent the entire lives of her 3 kids , oldest being 19. She had a keycard to his accounts up until 12 mths before he passed, even though he came and went as he pleased and worked away they were still together and he supported them.
She is also now besties with my partners ex which has caused dramas for me with their gossiping.
I have been tossed aside. It hurts but really the way she dealt with major things is way beyond my morals.
The father of her kids was on & off drugs. Yes she seems to have put me in that category of her life, ‘me being part of the drug association’
The gossiping was after she cut me off... she didn’t defend me when it was being said that I was using meth which is untrue, caused me to loose my job as I lost clients. Don’t get me wrong I experimented with drugs in my 20s , definitely not meth though! Most definitely not now in my 40s. I confronted her about this, I won’t go into detail as even though this is an anonymous forum I could be recognised.
Tbh it’s nice to vent somewhere as this is all talk I will take to my grave. I have the dignity to keep things Private
I kinda feel like I am grieving a death of a loved one at times. Over the years I have been closer to her and confided in her more than my own sister.
So you're not alone!
No because a true test of friendship is how they stand up and support you when you need them the most ie: bad times
Yeah theres limits. Like I have a friend who goes on and on about her ex husband. They divorced a few years ago, no kids, Ive heard every whinge thousands of times. I love her but I don't want to hear any more about him so I will just change the subject every time!
I think most friends will be there but you have to remember they have their own sh*t going on too that you may or may not know about. I try to be there for all my friends but sometimes my time is limited as I have 4 kids and my own family issues to deal with. I will always have time for my friends but I don't always have time for long conversations at the exact time they want to have it.