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Would you end the relationship?
Answered 4 years ago
My boyfriend and I have been together a while, and just at the point where we are planning to move in together and have spoken about getting married. We have a great relationship generally, but not where his family is concerned. We had been together a few months and went to a family bbq. I was getting to know everyone and all was fine until I met his cousin, who I dated and slept with in high school. It wasn't serious and I haven't seen him in years. The cousin was engaged, my boyfriend went to the wedding a few months later but I wasn't invited (which is fair enough). The issue is I don't get invited to any family get togethers if the cousin and wife are there. My boyfriend went to his mum's to celebrate his 30th with family and again I wasn't invited. He said it was a numbers thing, I have asked him to stand his ground but he doesn't think it's a big deal as we are only dating. I'm not sure I want to be dealing with this for ever, which I suspect I will be. Would you just move on?
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ANSWER
4 years ago
Ok thanks I think it is time to move on. I just cancelled our plans to look at a place tonight.
Replies
REPLY
4 years ago
Good luck. ... I think deep down you knew the answer. .. hopefully this might make him see the light but if not just know that you deserve happiness and for someone to have your best interests at heart
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4 years ago
Good for you girl!! Stay strong! ❤️
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4 years ago
Thanks, I ended it last night.
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4 years ago
Omg. How did it go?
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4 years ago
He defended his actions, said it would be different if we were married etc.
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4 years ago
Hope you’re ok, OP xx
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4 years ago
It'd definitely be different if you were married. You'd be trapped. Stay strong babe ❤
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4 years ago
Omg. Hope your ok. Why does he think it will be diff if your married? If his family treat you poorly now it won’t get better. They usually start off good then get bad not bad then get good.
REPLY
4 years ago
I hope your ok 🤗
ANSWER
4 years ago
Get rid of him, red flags everywhere, he is a dick. Especially the numbers comment..
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ANSWER
4 years ago
Is it the boyfriends mum, or the cousins mum you weren't invited to.
ANSWER
4 years ago
Red flags, dear.
"A numbers thing"?? So having one extra person was going to cause the entire event to collapse? No.
If his family are acting like this because you and his cousin dated years ago, then they're all being ridiculous and will continue to do so.
"A numbers thing"?? So having one extra person was going to cause the entire event to collapse? No.
If his family are acting like this because you and his cousin dated years ago, then they're all being ridiculous and will continue to do so.
ANSWER
4 years ago
If by some chance you do get married just tell him his family can’t come “ it’s a number thing” ha! And def don’t invite the cousin or wife to the wedding
ANSWER
4 years ago
Ditch him yesterday!!👋
ANSWER
4 years ago
It’s clearly the cousin and or his wife that have an issue with you being there. They need to grow up and your partner needs to grow a pair!!!! His family are being immature about this as well!
Tell him that if you are going to be shunned by his family you have no future together, Especially at his own celebrations!!!
If you really love him try and fix it, make a special cake or shit when you go to get togethers to make an effort or flowers for the host.
You will no doubt be made feel awkward to start with , keep up the birth control until this shit is well and truly sorted!!!
Tell him that if you are going to be shunned by his family you have no future together, Especially at his own celebrations!!!
If you really love him try and fix it, make a special cake or shit when you go to get togethers to make an effort or flowers for the host.
You will no doubt be made feel awkward to start with , keep up the birth control until this shit is well and truly sorted!!!
ANSWER
4 years ago
A numbers thing ha! Like one extra person at his mums will make a difference. You have asked him to stick up for you and he’s passed it off. Says a lot. Ask him if once you move in together which is a big commitment that you will be invited to things and he will stick up for you. Why are you less important to him because you are only dating than if you were to get engaged. If you have discussed marriage than it sounds pretty serious. Will you be more important or he love you more if your engaged. Don’t let him treat you like his partner when it suits him
ANSWER
4 years ago
I think it's time to hit the road. Sorry but this sort of thing never ends well.
ANSWER
4 years ago
I would leave him. Would you rather stay and be always uninvited? Always told 'its a numbers thing and were only dating' only dating says it all, he doesnt see you as a partner and any future talk is just that talk. Not real in his eyes. The fact he never stands up for also speaks volumes. I would leave and save yourself the future heartbreak. If you do marry and have kids the trwatment u currently have will still remain and its not worth it.
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REPLY
4 years ago
Why stay when someone out there will treat you better and their family will welcome you wholeheartedly.
REPLY
4 years ago
True. ... if you do marry and have kids one day will they be treated the same way? Shunned. The family need to grow up so you dated a cousin in high school who cares. Your boyfriend should be proud to be with you and go places with you not hide you away somewhere. 30 is a milestone bday he should want you by his side. Id give him a soft ultimatum not it’s me or them but a hey we are a package deal, a unit, we come together. He should want the best for you and have your best interests at heart
ANSWER
4 years ago
Tell him to grow a pair of balls and then High tail it out of there babe. Who wants a man with no respect for his lady?
ANSWER
4 years ago
Do not walk RUN!! He doesn’t have your back and is more interested in keeping his family happy rather than stand up for you and say we are a package deal and if my partner isn’t welcome to such and such event then I decline the invitation too. I’m sorry that you’ve invested so much time in a relationship with someone that doesn’t respect you enough to put his foot down when necessary. Whatever he is bringing to the relationship can be offered by someone else....next
ANSWER
4 years ago
I was engaged to a man whose family went out of their way to let me know I was last in the order of importance to them. Right down to giving me the smallest dessert bowl at the one and only brunch I was invited to in the 3 years we were together. At the brunch, I was the last to get any food or asked if I wanted coffee (I actually wanted the wine that was being passed around.) Over the years, I wasn’t included in family emails, holidays, Christmases. No one greeted me on birthdays, invited me over, it was always just the fiancé. I held on because I honestly loved my him and thought it would get better. Never did, he never stood up to them, and thankfully I realised I didn’t want any of it. On paper, I came from a better family, more wealthy, successful and educated. Had we gotten married, he would be living the way my gorgeous husband is now, and frankly he didn’t deserve it.
ANSWER
4 years ago
I think you asking the question probably means you already know this relationship has no future. Also, you been excluded from Family events and your partner thinking it’s ok because you’re only just dating is a pretty big red flag. So the question is do you wait for him to end it or do you save yourself the pain and do it yourself right now?