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Not wanting to spend time with partner’s child

Answered 6 months ago

I’m a father who has been in a relationship for 3 months with a single mother who’s child’s dad isn’t on the scene.

I share custody with my ex and see my kids (4&3) for half of the week and there’s nothing more I love than to spend time with them.

My problem is that I don’t enjoy spending time with my partner and her child (5) when I’m not with my kids. Is this me being selfish?

When it’s just me and my partner then that is great but I worry that we don’t get much quality time together due to her lack of custodial support and the fact that she puts her child to be a lot later than I do with my kids. Another factor is that her child appears to suffer with some anxiety so she very rarely leaves her side.

I get the sense that my parter wants me to daddy to her child at some point in the future but I know already that I don’t want that - I’ll never love her kid as much as my own.

Thanks for reading!


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ANSWER
6 months ago
Op I hope you have left this relationship or pulled your head out of your arse

ANSWER
9 months ago
I’m saying this as a single mum with 100% care: leave now and give her a chance to find a man who appreciates her and her child as they are. It will only cause more heart ache down the road when you can’t take it anymore and leave anyway.

Replies

REPLY
8 months ago
Maybe her kid is a little shit and the man is number 5 in the last few months

ANSWER
9 months ago
This is the worst thing, and it truly breaks my heart. You need to do yourself and everyone else involved a favor, and leave; yesterday!!!! Your partners daughter should not have to suffer because of you. And your partner should not be put in a position where she has to choose between you and her own daughter.
Yours not a bad person for feeling this way, but just be really honest with your partner and tell her why you cant be involved with her anymore. She will probably be thankful that you were honest now rather then sticking around and causing everyone hurt...
This really hits home with me Nd my situation and It breaks my heart every day to see my now kids dad bond with his own kids and my son doesn't get the same attention from him. It breaks my fckng heart! Every single day.

Replies

REPLY
8 months ago
It’s not being selfish
Some step kids are arseholes

ANSWER
9 months ago
Ffs get out now! She is a package, get out now! This poor child is probably already noticing your feelings towards them. Even if she did have 50-50 care the time her child is in her care you should be a father figure!
Complaining her child goes to bed later

ANSWER
9 months ago
You knew she had a child when you signed up to this relationship. Get out while it’s still new. She comes as a package and you only accept half of what she stands for. The way you feel about her child is not healthy and therefore the relationship will soon enough steer itself into unhealthy territory. Stop dragging it out and bow out gracefully!