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Does your so look after his kids on mums weekend, so she can go out?

My partner always does, he loves it because he gets more time with them. My kids are older and I am at the point where I can start going out again. I am so sick if it, I went out and left him to it Saturday night. I wouldn't mind if it was just occasionally, but it's every weekend, occasionally I say no, I want to either go out, or have the house to ourselves. I spoke to him about it and said I'm unhappy with the situation, he said he will only have a short time where they will want to be here with him, and while I understand, I'm not sure if I want to continue the relationship. I'm not sure if I should set a limit, or just move out.
Sorry to rant, am over it.


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Answers (14)

Move out.
Do him a favour.
Kids are a lifelong commitment. Not a Monday - Friday convenience.
If you’ve got a partner who loves his kids and wants to spend time with them every opportunity he can, then he actually sounds like a decent guy.
Sorry but you sound incredibly selfish. Don’t make him chose between his kids and you. I’d put money on it that he’ll choose his kids. I would, especially if I had a partner with your attitude.

 They are mon to Fri for their mum!
helpful (7) 
 ^even more reason he would want to spend the weekend with them. He probably misses them
helpful (1) 

Move out. You aren’t in the same stages in your lives, it’ll only cause arguments and resentment. Move on and do your wild and free thing. Live ya best life.

helpful (0) 

I'm sorry i don't agree with the ' you knew it when you signed up for it' brigade, of course she knew it! She didn't sign up for every weekend living like a single woman whilst the mother of her partners children enjoys life.
Yes i think you should move on if he doesn't get it, if it is every weekend and you don't get time together as a couple. It's a little unfair of him to sit back and expect you to put your life on hold waiting until the mother of his child gets knocked up by a random

 I completely disagree - he might have successfully got custody or have the children come to live with him as they get older and choose him. His children were his children before this marriage, they will always be his children - and given this attitude will probably outlast this relationship!
helpful (4) 
 Yeah well that's living in fantasy land and not the present moment. If 'the kids were moving in and I'm pissed was the q's' then yes i would agree with you but its not
helpful (3) 

Jeez! No wonder men are so confused and can't get it right. You have the one thing that women, both single and partnered want, a man actually interested in his children and wanting to spend time with them. It sounds like they are his first priority, as it should be. You will be his second. If you don't like that then this is not the relationship for you.
If you decide to stay then maybe start making some compromises. Go out with your partner during the week when his kids aren't there, do activities with the kids as a family. You can still go out and do things with the kids - maybe not a night club but it is possible. My husband and I have no support at all and still manage to go out and do things. Having kids around is not a disaster. if it is for you then let the poor bloke go.

If I didn't want small children around I would not get involved with a man who has small children. It's not really rocket science hey.

You want to put limits on how often he can see his kids? Grow up, when you got together you knew that he had kids, if you don't like that...leave!!

helpful (0) 

Thanks, I think I will move out. I will see if he will agree to one weekend a month for us without the kids, but if not will move on, as someone said we are at different stages in life.

 Do you boo
helpful (1) 
 I actually think one weekend a month is really reasonable. Maybe he could have them more during the week to free up weekends. He sounds like a good man to want to spend the time with them
helpful (0) 
 My partner is the same, he's like why can't we just have time together. But at the end of the day I love my kids more than anything, and while I see it from his pov I still prefer spending my days off with my kids
helpful (0) 

I would move out, I love my step kids, but there is no way I would have them every weekend.

Omg to everyone pulling down op saying she knew he had kids, of course she knew he had kids. It sounds like when they got together that ops partner had his kids every other weekend.

Now op is happy to be getting a social life back her step kids mum makes her own social life a priority.

Wouldn’t surprise me at all if the step kids mum realises this.

Yes his kids should be a priority, this doesn’t mean ignoring his partner.

helpful (0) 

Got some angry ants on here.
I'm not asking him to choose, with his eow I help and spend time with the kids. I tend to do my own thing on the other weekends, and it's really only the Saturday night they are here when it's mums weekend. I don't think one weekend a month for us is unreasonable.

 So the kids are sleeping most of the time anyway, it’s not really like he’s spending time with them
helpful (0) 
 Ok thats quite different if its only Saturday night. Why doesn't he spend the whole weekend with them?
helpful (0) 
 Quite possibly because the mum wants to go out Saturday nights and have the kids the rest of the weekend.
I bet she would have a problem if he wanted to have them more during the week, he child support would decrease no doubt.,

helpful (0) 

Children grow up, and tend to get their own lives. A partner is the person who will be with you forever. You need balance, or you will one you notice your kids have their own lives and you are on your own. Find a partner who gets that and you will be ok.

helpful (0) 

At least one weekend a month kid free. Totally

helpful (0) 

Personally I think you are entitled to couple time with your partner. My husband and I get regular couple time (bio parent of two children), I don’t see why this is any different.

If your partner doesn’t understand your desire to spend time together as a couple then I would personally move on, I wouldn’t bother spending time on hoping his perspective on this issue changes.

Make no mistake, I love my children, however I hope to live with their father for many decades after they are gone from our home, so our relationship also deserves to be nurtured.

 I tried to explain this last night, but I don't want to wait around for him to work it out for himself.
helpful (0) 
 Just go. He if figures it out he'll come for you. If not then it didn't mean that much to him to begin with. Sorry. Live your best life.
helpful (0) 
 I will thanks. I just booked a holiday that I wanted to go on (just for myself) and gave my oldest son notice that I'm moving back in to my place in two months time. Am really excited as I'm going to what I want for a change!!!
helpful (1) 
 I'm happy for you & possibly a little jealous. Can i come? 😆
helpful (0) 

You can’t set a limit. Imagine someone, no matter who they are telling you you can’t see your children as often as you want to. If you’re not ok with it, then you have to move out.