Got an Answer?
Do him a favour.
Kids are a lifelong commitment. Not a Monday - Friday convenience.
If you’ve got a partner who loves his kids and wants to spend time with them every opportunity he can, then he actually sounds like a decent guy.
Sorry but you sound incredibly selfish. Don’t make him chose between his kids and you. I’d put money on it that he’ll choose his kids. I would, especially if I had a partner with your attitude.
Move out. You aren’t in the same stages in your lives, it’ll only cause arguments and resentment. Move on and do your wild and free thing. Live ya best life.
I'm sorry i don't agree with the ' you knew it when you signed up for it' brigade, of course she knew it! She didn't sign up for every weekend living like a single woman whilst the mother of her partners children enjoys life.
Yes i think you should move on if he doesn't get it, if it is every weekend and you don't get time together as a couple. It's a little unfair of him to sit back and expect you to put your life on hold waiting until the mother of his child gets knocked up by a random
Jeez! No wonder men are so confused and can't get it right. You have the one thing that women, both single and partnered want, a man actually interested in his children and wanting to spend time with them. It sounds like they are his first priority, as it should be. You will be his second. If you don't like that then this is not the relationship for you.
If you decide to stay then maybe start making some compromises. Go out with your partner during the week when his kids aren't there, do activities with the kids as a family. You can still go out and do things with the kids - maybe not a night club but it is possible. My husband and I have no support at all and still manage to go out and do things. Having kids around is not a disaster. if it is for you then let the poor bloke go.
If I didn't want small children around I would not get involved with a man who has small children. It's not really rocket science hey.
You want to put limits on how often he can see his kids? Grow up, when you got together you knew that he had kids, if you don't like that...leave!!
Thanks, I think I will move out. I will see if he will agree to one weekend a month for us without the kids, but if not will move on, as someone said we are at different stages in life.
I would move out, I love my step kids, but there is no way I would have them every weekend.
Omg to everyone pulling down op saying she knew he had kids, of course she knew he had kids. It sounds like when they got together that ops partner had his kids every other weekend.
Now op is happy to be getting a social life back her step kids mum makes her own social life a priority.
Wouldn’t surprise me at all if the step kids mum realises this.
Yes his kids should be a priority, this doesn’t mean ignoring his partner.
Got some angry ants on here.
I'm not asking him to choose, with his eow I help and spend time with the kids. I tend to do my own thing on the other weekends, and it's really only the Saturday night they are here when it's mums weekend. I don't think one weekend a month for us is unreasonable.
I bet she would have a problem if he wanted to have them more during the week, he child support would decrease no doubt.,
Children grow up, and tend to get their own lives. A partner is the person who will be with you forever. You need balance, or you will one you notice your kids have their own lives and you are on your own. Find a partner who gets that and you will be ok.
At least one weekend a month kid free. Totally
Personally I think you are entitled to couple time with your partner. My husband and I get regular couple time (bio parent of two children), I don’t see why this is any different.
If your partner doesn’t understand your desire to spend time together as a couple then I would personally move on, I wouldn’t bother spending time on hoping his perspective on this issue changes.
Make no mistake, I love my children, however I hope to live with their father for many decades after they are gone from our home, so our relationship also deserves to be nurtured.