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Need advice about money, what is normal I have no one to ask the one person I did couldn’t help

Answered 2 months ago

Hi Mums, I am concerned about my friend we recently had a conversation the fact she is unhappy concerns me I have said I am here if she ever needs to talk or just someone to listen to. She asked me what what I think on the following situation she has said they have very minimal savings which worries her yet her husband excepts to go on extravagant holidays if covid19 travel permitted. I have noticed my friend often has protein shake or smoothies rather then proper meals whilst at home and out as a way to save money, if I shout or have her over for a meal she eats and doesn’t stop which makes me happy knowing she isn’t hungry.

I don’t know wether it is a cultural thing or if it is a him thing, he is Greek and came to Australia when he was 2 returned when he was 7 cause his parents divorced. When he was 9 his father went to Greece and brought him back to Australia.

Currently this is what things look like for them, she came from a family who grew up in the country so this wasn’t the norm and these things were special cause it was a good 1 -2 hour drive each way for those things, so she feels this is to much which she has told her husband.

- Eating out every meal Friday - Sunday Spending $350 or more on just this
- Paying the entire bill and not splitting if go out family or friends
- Paid family activity every day over weekend even after sport or other activities
- 2-4 sports going at once

I had suggested to her they read either the bare foot invester or Dave Ramsey when she suggested it he turned his nose up at.
She had read the book and asked if 3 months of savings is enough or if you felt the need to have more.

Do you use 3 months of savings rule for house maintenance repairs or do you use another method for issues like broken pipes or broken air conditioner. How much is adequate to budget for these things per year

How many local/interstate holiday per year


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ANSWER
2 months ago
She’s not interfering if her friend asked for advice. All she’s doing is getting some different opinions on here to take back to her friend. Isn’t this page about getting advice and help?

ANSWER
2 months ago
No holidays. Last holiday was 18 yrs ago and that was pitching a tentfor 1 night lol.

3 months is good to have saved. She needs her own savings too.

ANSWER
12 months ago
This really isn’t any of your business. If your friend and her husband need financial advice or disagree about money they may need to see a marriage counselor and a financial counselor. Perhaps suggest this to her, but aside from that I’d suggest not interfering.

Replies

REPLY
12 months ago
I agree with this answer. It is none of your business. Keep your nose out of it.

REPLY
12 months ago
I did not say any where I was interfering she asked me questions on what I think is reasonable and I said to give her a broader range of answers I would post here and ask.

Why are people so quick to jump to conclusions

REPLY
12 months ago
By taking it upon yourself to find answers for her you are interfering. There is no jumping to conclusions, it’s fact. Even if your friend has asked for your help, her husband has not so you have no place involving yourself In their personal finances. If you really feel strongly, look up some details of a relationship and financial counselor and pass those on to her.

REPLY
12 months ago
But she asked my opinion on the matter and what I thought, her husband doesn’t believe in counselling ect as they are a load of bull crap his words not mine. It got me thinking is this normal and how a lot of people live I still live in a country area so I don’t see the harm in asking the question

REPLY
12 months ago
Man, I don’t know why they are hounding you. They could have suggested that it may e better for you not get involved, in a non black and white superior way. I just don’t get it., but then I do as I see these know it alls everywhere. I think you have asked an absolutely fine question and I would say that considering his spending .,..3months probably isn’t enough.., as there’s probably a lot more going down that she or you are not aware of. Financial counselling is a good idea, but let’s be honest, you can be there for your friend and that is wonderful.., but unfortunately we are not experts and her husband sounds like a lot of work and someone unlikely to change, I would suspect there could be his cultural things at play here(him keeping up appearances, addiction to spending to distract his insecurities). I know the hounds will come back so I’m signing out. But no I don’t think this is normal and yet I You know what, I do, as I think a lot of people have unhealthy habits with money,,

REPLY
12 months ago
OMG. Calm down lady, I've read the above posts and there isn't any hounding. Ppl were just saying butt out, end of story. Finances are a personal thing. That is all.

REPLY
12 months ago
What you do if a friend was to ask you what you thought was normal in terms of outing like going out to dinner, how much sport kids do, how often you go on holidays. Why is this such a taboo topic yes finances are personal I am the original poster but why is my friend asking opinion and the opinion of others so wrong. She isn’t use to such a lifestyle due to us both coming from a country town what is normal to us probably wouldn’t be normal to you and vice versa. I don’t see the issue

REPLY
12 months ago
I think it is lovely that you are concerned enough for your friend to seek help. Unfortunately, her husband seems to be living way beyond their means and if he sees no problem and won't accept any assistance, there isn't anything you can do apart from suggesting your friend have a serious discussion with him herself. It doesn't sound like anything will change if he doesn't see a problem.

ANSWER
12 months ago
Relationships vary as do finances. Talking about finances is still very taboo but they do seem to waste a l t of incomw on eating out. Paying for others sh o ukd be reserved for birthdays or the odd occassion not all the time. Fancy holidays are a treat not necessity. That said each to their own. Its their money stay out of it.

ANSWER
12 months ago
Not your business in the slightest
Stay out of it