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No Sex life
Answered 4 years ago
8 months into 2020 and we have had sex 3 times were in our late twenties 2 years and 12 years together husband told me a few weeks he has no sex drive so i googled spoke to him about a few things left it with him still nothings been done does he want to fix it? is he maybe not interested anymore i feel like we are just co exsiting right now once the kids go to bed we are just seperate i feel resentful hurt undesired and now i am at the point of not caring anymore if he wont try why should i? Is this the end? weve had a rough few years with him being diagnosed with depression but once again nothing was done about that either i took the lead made phone calls to counsellers but was never the right date or time didnt suit also refuses to take anti depressants which is fine he can make his own choices but i feel like i am just along for the ride kind of like a mother and i am over it i feel like sex was our one connection that no matter what was going on it was jus us
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ANSWER
4 years ago
Well sex is just like going to the toilet you have to do it
Why don’t you just sit on his face after you have shaved and see where that takes you
I can tell you it really works and you’ll love it too
Why don’t you just sit on his face after you have shaved and see where that takes you
I can tell you it really works and you’ll love it too
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REPLY
4 years ago
I agree take the job at hand and make him have sex and give sex and more sex and make sure you get and give oral sex !!! It works for me and I think it would work for everyone
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4 years ago
Not true ^
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4 years ago
If the desire is not there, it's not there. Sorry babe, you may have a dud
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4 years ago
Yeah I tried that and was rejected and told I had a sex addiction. So sorry for wanting sex more than once a month.
Now I don't waste my time trying. Eventually I'll probably leave
Now I don't waste my time trying. Eventually I'll probably leave
ANSWER
4 years ago
Same here. Last year we had sex about 4 times, and I felt like I was basically raping him. He said no sex drive. He'd finish before me and say its my own fault if I didn't enjoy it. This year I haven't wasted my time. twice he initiated it. Once I was like OK let's do this. He didn't want to touch me or anything, it was all about him blowing his load in 1 minute and again it being my own fault if I didn't like that. If I talk about it, he said not everyone is sex crazy like you (yes, 4 times in one year, sex crazed apparently). I refused the second time and he sulked like a bitch. I now feel physically repulsed by him and his selfish bedroom ways. There isn't going to be anything that brings the sex back as far as I'm concerned.
ANSWER
4 years ago
Same here. Last year we had sex about 4 times, and I felt like I was basically raping him. He said no sex drive. He'd finish before me and say its my own fault if I didn't enjoy it.
This year I haven't wasted my time. twice he initiated it. Once I was like OK let's do this. He didn't want to touch me or anything, it was all about him blowing his load in 1 minute and again it being my own fault if I didn't like that. If I talk about it, he said not everyone is sex crazy like you (yes, 4 times in one year, sex crazed apparently). I refused the second time and he sulked like a bitch.
I now feel physically repulsed by him and his selfish bedroom ways. There isn't going to be anything that brings the sex back as far as I'm concerned.
This year I haven't wasted my time. twice he initiated it. Once I was like OK let's do this. He didn't want to touch me or anything, it was all about him blowing his load in 1 minute and again it being my own fault if I didn't like that. If I talk about it, he said not everyone is sex crazy like you (yes, 4 times in one year, sex crazed apparently). I refused the second time and he sulked like a bitch.
I now feel physically repulsed by him and his selfish bedroom ways. There isn't going to be anything that brings the sex back as far as I'm concerned.
ANSWER
4 years ago
Maybe do it for yourself if you know what I mean. Literally take care of business by yourself. Or have him walk in on you pleasing yoursef see if that sparks some interest. You can only try to get him to come to the party if he isnt interested go elsewhere.
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4 years ago
I don't think it's just about hitting that magical spot. It's about affection and intimacy too. That feeling of being loved and wanted, feeling attractive is so important. But yes, a good climax is very important too 😘
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4 years ago
I understand that however sometimes those feelings, reassurance etc are not going to happen. Depression or not if he cant make an effort he simply doesnt care. Harsh but true.
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4 years ago
And if he wont actively participate in seeking help its not worth it.
ANSWER
4 years ago
Hey OP! Sorry to hear you’re feeling this way in your marriage. Just curious when you say you spoke to him, was it a proper sit down chat ie: no tv, no phones, kids in bed kind of chat, or more like while you were grabbing milk from the fridge to make a coffee and you casually relayed some things you saw on google.
I only ask because the issues you raise: no sex, lack of intimacy, depression are quite serious and need to be addressed properly.
You need to lock in a time with your husband (give him heads up) and have a very open and raw conversation about what you’ve written here. Tell him how you feel, what your needs/expectations are etc then ask him how he feels about everything in your marriage at this current time. Communication is key OP. No need for aggression or blame shifting. Marriage is hard work and you will continue to go through highs and lows but will you go through them together as a team or individually?!
Just a side not when you have a proper sit down chat do not dive in with all the negative and criticism. Give praise and credit where it’s due as a husband/father and then introduce the aspects of your marriage you would like to focus on and hopefully make some slow progressive changes. Good luck OP x
I only ask because the issues you raise: no sex, lack of intimacy, depression are quite serious and need to be addressed properly.
You need to lock in a time with your husband (give him heads up) and have a very open and raw conversation about what you’ve written here. Tell him how you feel, what your needs/expectations are etc then ask him how he feels about everything in your marriage at this current time. Communication is key OP. No need for aggression or blame shifting. Marriage is hard work and you will continue to go through highs and lows but will you go through them together as a team or individually?!
Just a side not when you have a proper sit down chat do not dive in with all the negative and criticism. Give praise and credit where it’s due as a husband/father and then introduce the aspects of your marriage you would like to focus on and hopefully make some slow progressive changes. Good luck OP x
ANSWER
4 years ago
Same situation, experience has shown me that things aren't going to improve if he isn't interested in doing so. Find yourself some happiness. xx
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4 years ago
Depression is a terrible thing. It destroys the ability to enjoy ANYTHING, sex being only one of the things. But sex drive gets destroyed completely. Also the ability to actually get energised to do anything about it.
That may still be a problem, and maybe a search for a change in medication if he is still on the original medication for depression.
Medications that suit one person may not suit another, and people can build up resistance to certain medications. Also, some medications such as Lithium have a long half life, so build up in the body, which in itself causes problems.
You may need to say to him if he cant be bothered even addressing the depression issue, that you are not going to stay around.
You cant go on like that forever.
That may still be a problem, and maybe a search for a change in medication if he is still on the original medication for depression.
Medications that suit one person may not suit another, and people can build up resistance to certain medications. Also, some medications such as Lithium have a long half life, so build up in the body, which in itself causes problems.
You may need to say to him if he cant be bothered even addressing the depression issue, that you are not going to stay around.
You cant go on like that forever.
ANSWER
4 years ago
Relax. Lockdown means you’re together all the time, sex drive takes a dip after a while. Take 3-4 days holidays with your girlfriends, by the time you get back he’ll have sex drive again
ANSWER
4 years ago
*2 Kids not years *