Falling out of love
Answered 11 months ago
Has anyone who’s fallen out of love with their husband (mutually , he too admitted it) and somehow found a way back?
Iv always been of the belief that marriages that last are just two people who never fell out of love at the same time.
But here we are. Both out of love.
Both with deep love and respect, but the infamacy, the Adoration, the desire, it’s been gone for so long.
We’ve decided to trial seperate.
And I actually feel more at peace than I have for 3 years.
But now with all the souls searching iv been doing as I promised I have to wonder are we doing a disservice to not just try one more time (after about 500 tries)
But how do you let go of resentment?
The past 2 months we have been getting along better than ever, now that we’ve established we are better of as friends and co parents.
And I wonder if that’s a sign we’re not suppose to split and there’s still some connection or if it’s an obvious sign we are a better family as friends.
We’ve had family days, celebrated our child’s birthday, laughed together for what feels like the first time in years.
It was immediate too. As soon as we had that painful talk the next day we were getting along better than we had in years.
We have a long 15 year history of near break ups.
We are VERY opposite people.
There’s issues. And funny enough I feel like those issues go away when we are friends.
I can let them go better for our kids.
Can anyone relate? None of my friends can, many of them are being super protective of me so it’s hard
Have an answer?
I don’t know if it helps or not but I told myself early on that this was a life decision. I chose to marry him and I chose that leaving is not an option. I chose monogamy. I know absolutely he chooses the same. That being said we don’t choose monotony and we have been really open and honest with one another on all levels for better or worse. There are days when I love him but I don’t like him much and I am sure there are days where he says the same.
I absolutly acknowledge both of us have neglected our relationship for a long time.
It’s been really bad the last year. We are just housemates.
I don’t know why I don’t want to have sex with him, I find him so sexy. He’s so good looking (not just in my eyes) he’s really handsome and when we met we were both on par then for years i was a belle of the ball type beautiful since kids iv sincerely let my self go. Gained 20kg. Don’t have time and was never the sort to dress up anyways. Difference being that me with no makeup and short shorts and a singlet with no bra after a surf looked hot.
Now not so much.
I’m still me. But I’m also not I haven’t given him the attention he deserves ofover the years (not has he to e)
Three days ago we both admitted all this. Then since then we’ve been getting along so well in the day and feel so connected.
But it’s really broken and this is our pattern.
He’s not attracted to me anymore. And I know women might kick a stink about that he he has a right to his feelings.
We’ve said a lot of stuff this past 2 days. Said everything all the things we weren’t saying for fear of hurting each other.
I want to wor. To lose weight, to go on dates. I found “question cards” and want to go on a date as spend the night talking.
But though I so appreciate his honesty it’s Bering my heart he’s felt feelings for other women in the last year, but why did I expect? He’d sometimes go months without sex, we were distance and he’s a really hot guy who women want to get at.
And then the jealousy eats away and I wonder am I holding onto him for selfish reasons or is it all worth saving.
15 years. 3 unplanned pregnancies , 2 beautiful kids. 5 pregnancies, 4 houses, 2 businesses, and our family.
It’s a lot to just say it got too hard
But there been so much hurt.
Expecially the last hearing that he’s been struggling with feelings for other girls.
But I don’t blame him.
It’s all so
I’m crushed. It could be over, but we’ve just drifted so far apart