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I'm the Worst housewife ever. My House is a mess. I just don't want to or rather I do but feel overwhelmed. I Can't find the oomph to do it... Why? I feel rediculous I used to have THE cleanest house before we had kids.... I work 6 days a fortnight. Husband works away. Kids are 16,14,12. Husband does literally nothing... At all... Ever...I'm extremely embarrassed about the state of my house

I'm my own worst enemy Because I know what and how can make lists and then I just don't... Help... Please..

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Answers (19)

With kids those ages they could be contributing equally. Give everyone a list and have them get to it. Simple things should be done each day and honestly with 3 kids who are mini adults you should get most of it done in 30 minutes. Everyone cleans their bedroom. One gets bathroom/toilet, one gets kitchen, one gets living and dining room and you go do the annoying things like ironing and washing etc. They must clean all surfaces and vac/mop. 15 minutes in bedrooms and 15 minutes for the other room they are assigned and next time you rotate the room assignment. I think you just need to bite the bullet and get it done and delegate. You are a house manager not a house slave.

OP Thank you!! I thought so too but they are such a battle... I'll definatly be trying harder to get them to help. Xx
helpful (1) 
 Change the wifi password and only give it out when they are done and lock their phones in a lock box until they are done. They will learn that they should just do it the first time.
helpful (5) 
 I would lock the fridge and turn the power off and lock the power box until it's done.
In future no devices until it's done

helpful (0) 
 Op how did you go? I hope you hot them helping you.
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OP Such a slow process but yes I got them helping, I'm not working the next 3 days so I'm hoping to get stuck in and try to in chaos my house xx
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Could you get a cleaner in for a one off, say 5hr day so your house is thoroughly clean. That might help get you motivated to keep it clean.

 Yes this is one thing i do think of and often..That it would help me immensely...Though again my head gets in the way and i worry about what they will say behind my back... :\

helpful (2) 
 Why does a stay at home parent need a cleaner? They’ve made that lifestyle decision to flit around at home all day. What is equitable is both parents working and doing housework together; the financial and social welfare of the home is everyone’s business, not just one’s. Only the very rich can afford stay at home parents these days.
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 I have a cleaner once a fortnight, I stay home with kids. I wish we were rich.
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 Flit around home all day 😂
I think you need glasses idiot, the OP works!

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Your kids are old enough to understand and pitch in. Stop over indulging them.

OP Thank you I feel so guilty asking them. Like I'm meant to do it all because I'm the mum, and that's what mums do... Xx
helpful (0) 
 No don't feel guilty. And I totally understand how you feel. We've got renovations as going at the moment, so I spent yesterday moving stuff around, packing etc, we're also going overseas this week, and I have to work different days this week too so busted my chops this morning getting all my chores done. I went out for four hours today to catch up with two friends I haven't seen for a year or two. Came home, no homework done, kids chores not done, washing still on the line, kids rooms a mess, kids playing with confiscated items, husbands pack up work for renos not done... Admittedly, I should have told my husband what needed to be done before I left, because after all he is not a mind reader, but my kids know better and we're just pulling the piss. And then everyone wonders why I am pissed off when I get home. My kids are nearly 12, 10 and 9. Yours are a bit older. A family is a team and everyone needs to pull their weight. So get 'em up and helping!
helpful (2) 

My mother didn't really train me in housework and cooking - she did everything with 4 children. However she did me a disservice in that I left home at 20 with few household skills. I had to learn to cook steak etc.

 Me too. I once said to my mum that she did too much for me. Big mistake.... She got really offended.
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If you know how to do it, then motivation is your problem. I don't know how to find that for you. Maybe just commit 30 minutes a day, starting with one room and moving on to the next once that room is done, to getting everything in order and perhaps seeing the positive changes will be the kick start you need to really get on top of it.

OP Yes motivation... I need to find that I think. Thank you.
helpful (0) 
 Music that you can dance to, I find myself cleaning to the beat and dancing from one thing to the next.
helpful (2) 
 There's the 5 minute rule - try just 5 minutes and once you get started you keep going.

helpful (2) 

The kids can do chores. Ask them to do chores for a reasonable rate. My 4 year old does chores like tidying for $1 and a lollypop occasionally. I suggest you ask your husband to do one chore like take out the rubbish or cook dinner and gradually build up the list of jobs. Men often like cooking meals cause they don't have to clean up. You can't be perfect. Have take-out once/fortnight if you can afford it and Howard Storage World have storage ideas to make your house neater. Hope that helps.

OP I like the idea to gradually grow the list of things he helps with thanks xx
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Be a minimalist and downsize everything it's worked for me! The kids know if it's on the floor it will disappear

I just want to say: chin up! We all have our battles and it is easy to point out what we think is the obvious answer. But we arent in your shoes honey :-) take a deep breath and be kind to yourself. Then explain to hubby and children that YOU are not soley responsible for the housework/household. One of you vs 4 of them! Time to set some new rules ;-) or simply take a deep breath and know it wont be long before you can visit your childrens homes to cause havoc and make mess before leaving :-D

OP New rules needed that's for sure.. I can't wait to visit them all one day lol 😉
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I'm very much the same... I promise you that once you get on top of it, it is much easier and then you feel motivated to keep it clean. Turn off the wifi, unplug the TV and pump some energetic music. Dedicate 2 big days to get it all done and then you'll never let it go down hill again.

 And I would add to this maybe start by doing one room completely, so that you can see the difference. That will make you feel so much better and hopefully reboot your enthusiasm. I find when I look at a mess I feel overwhelmed, depressed, and just cant get myself going to tackle it.
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Kids need to learn how to maintain a house/cook/do laundry otherwise they will never know how to fend for themselves when they are older and leave home. Don't think of asking them to do chores and help out in the house as being mean and what only mums are for. Instead think of it as great parenting because you are helping set them up with life skills. Good luck.

 Yes! This! I wish my mum would have taught me some life skills.
I'm a crap housewife. 33 and still have to google how to do shit lol

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 Same here !!!!!
I’m still trying to figure out a way to clean my house as my mum was shit at it and hasn’t taught me any valuable take away skills 😞

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Getting started/motivated is the hardest part i find and really theres no other way than forcing yourself to get started. I like to blast out some music and normally once i start i dont stop.Someone once told me "the more you do, the more you feel like doing" i believe this to be true!!! Good luck... P.S. I agree the fly lady is very good!

 no need to write P.S
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 P.P.S - ok. X
helpful (5) 

Make your children get off their lazy arses and help! My 5 and 7 year old do chores.

If you are looking for a bit of inspiration, there's a Declutter your house one day at a time on Facebook. They're very supportive and encouraging and share lots of great cleaning and storage ideas.

 *group on Facebook
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OP I'll look them up thank you x
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 What is the fb group called exactly please? I've been looking, but can't find it. Thanks :)
helpful (2) 
 Not the poster of the comment, but it's called Household Management 101. I think there's a site in the Web called Fly Lady, I've heard good things about it too.
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 *on the web
helpful (1) 

Look at the available storage in your home. If you have a lot of stuff that doesn't have a place you may need to let go of some items and pick some storage pieces to get others off the floor. Bookcases with baskets work well when items are grouped by what they are or are too big for drawers to get things looking tidy.

Sometimes the best approach is slowly. Tackle one room at a time. Sort into keep, sell, donate or throw. Gumtree, Ebay or a Garage sale can help with the selling items.

Look into ways to keep things clean for longer with less effort. Eg Weed mats under bark in the garden to stop weeds coming up as often.

Kids should be allocated at least 1 job each to help keep things clean. Offer pocket money as an incentive. Maybe even offer a set amount of money per different jobs that need to be done. You may find that they start helping more when they really want to buy something they want. Especially the ones who are too young for a PT job yet.

When things are clean create a roster/routine to prevent the mess returning.

OP Excellent thank you 😘
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How hard can it be to keep your house clean in that situation? Hubby works away, kids in school AND old enough to contribute and you only work 6 out of 14 days. No ones home to make a mess but you

 Wow your reply is so helpful ! Well done.
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OP Sounds easy doesn't it... Thanks for your helpful reply....
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 It should be easy had they been raised to be conscientious. I'm sorry but teenagers should be doing housework and cooking. A must. I shudder to think what family like for us would be like if my kids didn't help out around the house.
helpful (6) 
 I kind of get what this respondant means. I feel like op but i work 4 days a week and have 3 young kids so by comparison her workload seems easy. I do get the drudgery aspect though. Maybe reward yourself with something nice for every week you keep the house clean.
helpful (5)