Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Do you think marriages are too disposable these days?


Got an Answer?

Answers (12)

I think people give up too easily and it makes a mockery of the whole institution of marriage.
Husband stays at the pub too long? Divorce. Husband is depressed? Divorce. Attracted to someone else? Divorce.
I think so many of the posts on this site show exactly the problem of people throwing their marriages away and into the too hard basket.

 I understand what you are saying, but one partner cannot fight for a marriage alone!

My husband had an affair, we tried to fix things but he was not prepared to let the AP go... so was I still suppose to fight and work for my marriage? Hell no! I have to much respect for myself to “fight” for someone that does not value or respect me!

Its not always black and white and sometimes the best thing is to walk away. I will never get married again.

helpful (3) 
 ^Whoa tiger, slow down. I never said it is up to one person. You are obviously still healing and I hope your heart heals in time. For marriage to be a happy both need to give it 100%.
helpful (6) 

There is a reason half the people on this website have drama in there relationships and they dont last. Most of its caused by there shit communication skills, laziness, listening to friends or families advice who only get there side of the storey or they can do better. Stop being whinging c#nts and find something more positive to do with there time.

I think to a lot of people it is, but then again, I know lots of people who still respect the sanctity and solemnity of it so much they're too scared to get married. My older brother for example. Before I got married he asked me how I knew that I wanted to make such a huge commitment to someone. He was worried that it'd end in a messy divorce like our parents.
That was 10 years ago and he's only recently proposed to his girlfriend whom he has openly admitted is the love of his life.

To me, marriage is so much more than just the joining of lives. It's choosing to join part of your soul to another persons. It's choosing to make compromises and work through the hard shit together.
I got married at 20, and even on my worst days I still love my husband. We've been through things that could have broken us. But we chose to let it bring us closer.
I can't say that we'll be together forever, but I certainly don't see our marriage as disposable.
As another said, if you see marriage as disposable, you have no business getting married in the first place.

I'm 31 - never been married. Have been with my partner for just over 8 years. He has been married before.
I know of only 1 couple that have actually stayed together (Aunty & Uncle of about 45 years marriage)
I definitely think that there isn't a sacred bond anymore. Most people are too wrapped in a wedding to take thought in what marriage actually means or stands for.
In my opinion, people need to wait. So many younger couples (my age and younger) getting married after only knowing the person for a year or two and it's just crazy.

So yes, in my opinion it most definitely is.
And no, my partner and I aren't interested in marriage at this point but have been "engaged" for the past 6 years with no real desire to wed.

 Who said yes dear ?
helpful (1) 
 It was never a sacred bond, it was a financial and socially pressured choice.
helpful (1) 
 Unmarried women weren’t respected
helpful (0) 
 ^ For us it actually IS a sacred bond.
helpful (2) 
 Marriage isn’t a sacred bond, it’s something the government capitalised on and started charging you for.

helpful (1) 
 ^that's your opinion.
To us, our marriage is a sacred bond. Sorry you missed out on that feeling.

helpful (0) 
 Somebodies a bit cynical
helpful (0) 
 Lol yes absolutely as I can’t for the life of me understand why you owe the government money for being with someone and then even more money to seperate them and you need the governments permission to do so, it’s so absurd and even more so that it’s become so normalised people dONT think it’s weird.

I have had a ceremony with my partner but didn’t pay money to do it.

helpful (0) 

Absolutely no one talks everyone gives up

 That's a pretty broad statement
helpful (1) 

No I think people have options.
If I’m not happy I won’t waste my time joining a whole lifetime with someone “working” at being happy!!
I worked for 13 years trying to be happy with my ex husband , iv since met my partner and been together 18 years never married and haven’t had to work hard at all. It’s never been work to stay with him.
If your marriage is hard work, draining or not making you happy , I think you should leave.

Life is soooo short to spend it unhappy.

I should have given up long before I did with my ex husband.

I actually don’t agree with the concept of marriage as it stands anyways. Why does the government need a stamp on your relationship and make you pay THEM money for it to start and to end it.
Its laughable and ridiculous.

Yes but they're also the same who never should have been married in the first place. They got married because everyone else was doing it or they wanted a wedding. I know if I got married if I was younger I would have been divorced by now for sure, I wasn't ready & I knew it.

Yes it pisses me off as soon as someone says they have a problem the advice is always to leave, you deserve better! Marriage is full of ups and downs imoeople seem to think it's a movie with a fairy tale ending

No. marriages only lasted long in the past as women had no rights. A husband assaulting his wife and children was his right. Women were taught to be obedient and "protest in silent" if they weren't happy. Women were taught a "good man" is someone who puts food on the table. Women have had enough of being treated like scum, they have evolved and I don't think men have got that memo. Chances are your Grandma and grandfather who were married for 60 years were only married that long cause your poor grandma had no rights, she put on a brave face and served your grandfather and by the time you came along it was sheer brokenness that made them seem "happy".

 Totally agree with this. My mum is a shell of a woman she agrees with everything he says and he still hits her to keep her in line. I have tried to tell her to get out but she is too brain washed. He asked for a divorce and she begged him to stay how crazy. He used to hit us as kids. He told my husband after he married me that he could hit me now. He was speechless.
helpful (1) 
 Lady you live on the dark side of life. I know alot of couples that have been married 30, 40, 50, 60 years & they're not being beaten. I'm married & happy, it's hard to believe in love when you've never found it. Good luck. I hope you find your happy place. Sounds like you more happy positive influences in your life.
helpful (2)