Wife and i are always fighting over the smallest things lasting all day long... example: I have taken her car keys maybe
Answered 4 years ago
Wife and i are always fighting over the smallest things lasting all day long... example: I have taken her car keys maybe 3 times by accident over the last year to work leaving her stranded since i leave first her car is always behind mine so to not wake her up i move it and park it back in. Its an honest accident and i apologize letting her know i can bring the keys back immediately yet she chews me and gets very angry with me. She tells me her job is very important to her and i need to find a way to stop that because she gets in trouble not me. Then asked me to pay for he uber lift. She doesn't apologize for being so upset with me when i make a mistake like this. (note reason i left her keys in my car this last time was because when i got home i asked if she can please move her car she told me NO, she was buys cooking. So i moved it as usual. I know this seems petty but is it right to get so angry at these things with me?
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Also, your wife sounds like she’s under a lot of stress. Try being nice to her. When you come home , be kind and don’t expect her To stop what she’s in the middle of doing to move a bloody car. Just do it without making a big deal about it. Maybe sit down and have a chat about who’s job it is to do what around around the house including moving cars, but make sure it’s a good tune when you’re both calm and can talk rationally. Maybe whoever’s first to leave in the morning can leave their car out on the road until everyone else in home so they don’t get blocked it.
Or don’t take ownership of the cars. Whoever leaves first just drives the car that’s available and leaves the other car for the other person. Difficult if you have car seats in one, but talk it out with her and find a way to make it work. I suspect your wife might me pissed about a bigger issue and the cars is just the straw that breakers the camels back.
So, if I were you, I'd pick a calm time (not during a fight) to talk about these situations and try to find out what she feels when things like these happen. You two can work on solutions together as the situation requires, eg the car key thing, can you get a second key on your keychain or can there always be a spare at home, or can one of you park on the street/in a different car space, if you get home first can you park on the street until she gets home then move your car in if you're not allowed to be on the street overnight, etc. Make a solution *together* so you both feel heard and both of your needs are met. When another situation happens, go through it again and work out how you can both do things better in the future. Show her through actual tangible actions that you do care about her, you do care if she's inconvenienced, you do believe she and her work are important and so on.
And when she makes mistakes which irritate you, then you have a template to work it out together too.