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Wife and i are always fighting over the smallest things lasting all day long... example: I have taken her car keys maybe

Answered 1 year ago

Wife and i are always fighting over the smallest things lasting all day long... example: I have taken her car keys maybe 3 times by accident over the last year to work leaving her stranded since i leave first her car is always behind mine so to not wake her up i move it and park it back in. Its an honest accident and i apologize letting her know i can bring the keys back immediately yet she chews me and gets very angry with me. She tells me her job is very important to her and i need to find a way to stop that because she gets in trouble not me. Then asked me to pay for he uber lift. She doesn't apologize for being so upset with me when i make a mistake like this. (note reason i left her keys in my car this last time was because when i got home i asked if she can please move her car she told me NO, she was buys cooking. So i moved it as usual. I know this seems petty but is it right to get so angry at these things with me?


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ANSWER
1 year ago
Have a key for both cars on each of your own key sets, problem solved

Replies

REPLY
1 year ago
Yes a big bright key ring for you which is obvious. I think this is a mistake which would do most people’s head in

ANSWER
1 year ago
My husband had done this to me on occasion, accidentally taking both the main set of keys and the spare. Fortunately on that occasion he realised before I did and retuned the keys without making me late anywhere. But yeah, I would have been pissed if I was late for work because if it.
Also, your wife sounds like she’s under a lot of stress. Try being nice to her. When you come home , be kind and don’t expect her To stop what she’s in the middle of doing to move a bloody car. Just do it without making a big deal about it. Maybe sit down and have a chat about who’s job it is to do what around around the house including moving cars, but make sure it’s a good tune when you’re both calm and can talk rationally. Maybe whoever’s first to leave in the morning can leave their car out on the road until everyone else in home so they don’t get blocked it.
Or don’t take ownership of the cars. Whoever leaves first just drives the car that’s available and leaves the other car for the other person. Difficult if you have car seats in one, but talk it out with her and find a way to make it work. I suspect your wife might me pissed about a bigger issue and the cars is just the straw that breakers the camels back.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I’d laugh the first time, forgive you the next. But after that I’d be pissed off at you. Learn from your mistake, grow a brain and stop making her late for work. How would you like it if she did it to you on numerous occasions.

ANSWER
1 year ago
It sounds like you're upset that your wife gets angry over little things, random incidents, or things that don't happen often. I would try to look at it a little more abstractly; is there some kind of thread that connects the things which upset her? For example, in the car key scenario, the themes could be that you don't think of her, you don't consider what she does as important, or you don't care if she's inconvenienced. To you it's an honest mistake, you're tired in the morning and forget to put her key back. But it's something that annoyed her, and when you do something else which makes her feel like you don't think of her, you don't consider her things as important, you don't care about inconveniencing her, then it can start to build up in her mind that these are recurring themes. Then when something else with those themes happens, a different event but evoking the same feelings in her, she's angry and lets it all out.

So, if I were you, I'd pick a calm time (not during a fight) to talk about these situations and try to find out what she feels when things like these happen. You two can work on solutions together as the situation requires, eg the car key thing, can you get a second key on your keychain or can there always be a spare at home, or can one of you park on the street/in a different car space, if you get home first can you park on the street until she gets home then move your car in if you're not allowed to be on the street overnight, etc. Make a solution *together* so you both feel heard and both of your needs are met. When another situation happens, go through it again and work out how you can both do things better in the future. Show her through actual tangible actions that you do care about her, you do care if she's inconvenienced, you do believe she and her work are important and so on.

And when she makes mistakes which irritate you, then you have a template to work it out together too.

ANSWER
1 year ago
If you leave first, why isn't your car parked last in the driveway? Sort this out the night before. Besides, she is right to be angry since this happens so often. It happens so often, that I wonder how you forget.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Just get a second set of keys so you have one each.

ANSWER
1 year ago
If you are out first always make sure her car is not blocking yours before you go to bed. The morning is so rushed plan ahead.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I’d be angry if I was left without a car , but move them the night before

ANSWER
1 year ago
Lets reverse this. If your wife made you late for work and you got in trouble would you be upset? Is your job important to you?

ANSWER
1 year ago
wife sounds like a bitch. Tell her to get stuffed or get up and move her own car

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REPLY
1 year ago
Yeah, this

REPLY
1 year ago
No, do not do this. You need to have a nice, calm chat with your wife.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Sounds like your wife is really stressed out to me...you need to sit down and have a heart to heart

ANSWER
1 year ago
An apology shows respect in a relationship. That would be my red flag!

ANSWER
1 year ago
Tell her to grow up

ANSWER
1 year ago
Get a spare key, problem solved.

Replies

REPLY
1 year ago
And yes I would be pissed off if I was getting in trouble at my job because I was late due to you. It's a bad start to the day.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Who ever leaves first need to not have their car blocked. So its acceptable to move cars. Just put her keys back and all will be fine.