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Confession question- if I told people......they’d hate me

Answered 2 years ago

Just confessions. No arguments or debating. I have two-
I’m not the slightest bit attached to any of my friends kids or my nephews. Like meh, it’s a kid. I’ll help out if they need a babysitter but no way do I actually want to spend any more time with them. Two I actually dislike (permanent whine voice and argumentative). If I told my friends they’d hate me.
Other one is I don’t give a shit about your unmedicated 2hr birth that was over in three pushes. You’re no more of a woman and I’m no less of a mother. The whole ‘I did it I knew I could!’ Just makes me want to slap you. You can’t ‘manifest’ your perfect birth, it medicine not a hippy fest. Bet some of you hate me for saying that!!


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ANSWER
2 years ago
Family only wants you in their life when it suits them
I blocked their ph number and no communication and feel better

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REPLY
2 years ago
Same.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I don’t tell people why I haven’t gone back to work. People thing we are on an average income when really my husband made 600k last year. It’s not even financially worth me going back to work. I run around on errands when my husband needs it but that’s it.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Wow that’s awesome! What does your husband do for work? 😃

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2 years ago
You mean $60k

REPLY
2 years ago
Nope, 600k. Electrician, self employed, very specialised so gets a lot of work that no one else can do.

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2 years ago
Wow. My hubby is on 300k and I thought he was in pretty good money! I am not planning on going back to work anytime soon!

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2 years ago
Argh!

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2 years ago
I'm female and run my own speacialist business. 500k a year. So what!

REPLY
2 years ago
Is that all? 😂😂

ANSWER
2 years ago
I hate the term fur baby and when someone says it, I want to punch them in the face.

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2 years ago
Haha yes! And when people compare their animal to a human child?!?! Ike NO, and animal is not the same as a human.

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2 years ago
Yesssss!

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2 years ago
Totally agree with this and I’m the crazy cat lady. Still I can’t stand it when people compare animals to human children....there’s something psychologically unbalanced about that mindset.

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2 years ago
Yes calling someone psychologically unbalanced is a going overboard. I think someone just felt like using a couple of big words today

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2 years ago
For most people, the term fur babies is tongue in cheek. I don't understand why people are getting upset over it. Lighten up a little. You'll live longer 💛

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2 years ago
Yeah but there are people who literally do think it's their child. When someone tells a story about the difficulties of parenting they will pipe up with a story about their dog, quite seriously, obviously thinking it's the same.

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2 years ago
Live and let live. If it doesn't affect you personally, then why is it an issue? It's their life. Leave them be

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2 years ago
People have no idea what someone else has been through for them to treat their pets as babies. You never know. This may be the one thing that gets this person out of bed everyday and keeps them going

ANSWER
2 years ago
Work mates bringing their baby to work on maternity leave and passing the baby and saying here’s Aunty ( insert name) she will feed you

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2 years ago
Yes! And you're trying to work on something but have to stop, pretend to be interested and then work through lunch to meet deadlines.
It happened at least weekly.

ANSWER
2 years ago
If I told people that I still go to Kmart just to browse, they would hate me.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Everyone still does it

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2 years ago
This is allowed though, or Kmart wouldn’t be open?

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2 years ago
It's open because it keeps people employed, and people may still need to buy things like a microwave, kettle, underwear, nappies.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I dislike churchy people. I think they're all hypocrites.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Could you explain further?

REPLY
2 years ago
No

ANSWER
2 years ago
Part of me feels bad that we lie about Easter bunny and Father Christmas. It just seems so weird to tell our kids about honesty then lie to their faces for years???

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REPLY
2 years ago
I think it’s an ok lie tho. Once they find out it’s us, they’re not upset. They know they can ask us for exactly what they want from then on. As long as they are getting something I don’t think they care where they get it from.

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2 years ago
Yeah dont over think it, its not really a lie, your just creating some magical-ness for their childhoods, they will love you for it! Kids need magic in their lives.

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2 years ago
I think it’d be much more educational if you told them the real pagan origins of Christmas (which is far more intriguing for my kids anyway)
Like the fact that the Xmas tree was brought inside each year to keep the wood sprites warm,
Sweets were hung around the tree as offerings to them,
the bells were strung around the tree so they could jingle when an appreciative spirit was nearby.
The pentagram was the star of protection placed on the tip of the tree who’s 5 points represented the 4 main elements of the earth bound together by the 5th element (the creative god source or whatever you wish to call it)

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2 years ago
^^^^^ did you just post that really long boring post about Christian origins?

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2 years ago
I found it interesting, some us like learning

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2 years ago
Keep learning dear. Some OF us like learning 💛

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2 years ago
I’m a Christian so we celebrate the birth of Jesus, I just feel weird about the Santa thing. The wood sprites thing is interesting but it’s not exactly a way of life like a religion is.

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2 years ago
Haha yeah the Christian thing is the only way of life 😂😂 a historic religion based on honouring gods they could see (Sun, Moon, ECT) is just ridiculous

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2 years ago
I didn’t say it was the only way of life I said it was a way of life. I don’t know of many people who base the way they behave, act, treat others around wood sprites....that’s not exactly a way to teach your children about loving others or being worthy or loved.

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2 years ago
If you feel uncomfortable about it, don't do it! I didn't. Growing up, my parents told us that some people liked to play 'a game' and pretend santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy etc were real. Christmas & Easter were still 100% fun and magical! We decided to do the same for our kids and it's been great. Especially as one of our kids is very literal minded and was very quick to ask lots of questions about it. Felt good to answer her honestly.

It's fun to pretend when they're little but I think once kids start doubting and asking serious questions it's time to tell them.

ANSWER
2 years ago
That we are in the best financial shape we have ever been. Was smart enough to save an emergency that would last a year. We both have well paying jobs and are cruising through this COVID-19 disaster.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Same here. It sucks not going out a lot but financially we are safe.

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2 years ago
Yeah we are in the same situation but I wouldn't be too smug. Who knows what could happen next week

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2 years ago
Same..... i've heard some discussions on financial forums about what happens if things get really really bad like if certain banks going under & lock people out of their accounts- made me want to pull it all out & put it under my mattress.

REPLY
2 years ago
My husband was out of work for 6 months. We used up most of our emergency fund. Only went back to work mid March. I am thankful that he is not affected by CV.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I usually tell people & then they hate me

ANSWER
2 years ago
I don’t hate someone I know lol. I just think your experience is clearly not someone else’s so it’s personal bias that your annoyed at of others but exhibiting your own personal bias.

As for your first no argument or debating... sahm staff have already provided you with a space for your two confessions, that can’t be debated.
It’s actually what the site is most popular for.

Now as for my own confession ,aka dirty little secret -that I don’t mind anyone wanting to comment on lol- but i pick my nose and eat it.
So gross I know it, but it doesn’t stop me. For some reason disposing if it any other manner grossed me out mroe

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REPLY
2 years ago
I just meant no debating so that people would actually confess something. No one will speak out if trolls rock up and just pick and argue every little thing

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2 years ago
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮. I’ve always understood picking your nose, but eating it? I literally dry heaved reading that!

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2 years ago
Ive read somewhere this is actually good for your immune system

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2 years ago
You read wrong

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2 years ago
Lol to the immune system... I’m op and I literally never get sick, never did as a kid. Not even common colds, iv always picked and eaten lol.
I think the last time I was sick was when I got the flu at 6 months Pregnant, so 8 years ago?
My job is literally hanging out with sick people, and working in the pool with kids who regulatory spit in my face, or vomit on or near me in the pool and it’s my job to clean it up... I’m a prime candidate for getting sick regularly.... but never do.
One of my kids is a pick n water the other not, and while both have very strong immune systems the non eater is the one who will pick up common colds sometimes. My eldest I can’t remeber when he was sick, maybe when he was 2? And that was 6 years ago.

I don’t know, I know it’s gross lol. I only ever have snot when iv been around a cat anyways so it’s not a common occurrence. As in sometimes years between having a congested nose.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I am going to my dads funeral and I’m taking both of my teenage kids to use up the ten people rule (even though my daughter is fine with not going), so his sister doesn’t get to go. She was a bully to me and called me a bitch when I was a child, she is mentally unstable and I don’t want her there.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Sorry for your loss. I think those closest to him should get to go. If that’s your kids then you’re doing the right thing.

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2 years ago
Revenge is a dish best served cold

ANSWER
2 years ago
Honestly, secret confession

I just dont see the good in people anymore and society as a whole. Coronavirus aside, because Ive felt this way for a few years now people are just cruel... I don't expect people to understand how could you, you are not me. And that's okay, I am not wrong for feeling this way given my experiences but I wish I didn't feel this way. I miss being happy, getting sleep and being free of this darkness. Having energy and actually living...Sorry just had to let it out. No need to comment.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Hopefully there will be a global shift in consciousness as a result of the virus x

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2 years ago
No i agree most people are shit. I've completely given up on them. I stick to my family now & try not to have anything to do with anyone else. They just disappoint me.

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2 years ago
I agree too! People are rotten, and i think the virus has shown a lot of those people that think ‘most people are good’ that they are wrong.

ANSWER
2 years ago
My niece is a complete shithead. She is rude, arrogant, smart alec, horrible little girl. Her mannerisms are disgraceful and she is never disciplined. I limit the amount of exposure my kids have to her. I notice a distinct change in them after they’ve spent any length of time with her. She needs a good talking to in my opinion and some strong discipline. I’ve never met someone so rude.

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2 years ago
Same!!! Nephew is incredibly violent and a play date with him turns my son into a shithead.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I am sick of my friends going on and on about their premy babies. Their babies are now 7, 8, 12. They were born 6-8 weeks early and met all their milestones and are just like any normal kid yet I have to see fb memories all the time and listen to their stories of what a tough start to life they had,..over and over.......

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2 years ago
A mum in my mother’s group talked about her premmie. 3 weeks early. 9lb. Totally fine.

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2 years ago
My son was 7 weeks prem. That is still significant, he was in the nicu for a month. It was an incredibly stressful time and there were some scary moments. He’s 9 years old now so we are well and truly over it and its of no significance now and I don’t share the Fb memories, cos honestly who cares.

REPLY
2 years ago
9 pound for a premmie? Holy fuck.

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2 years ago
Why don't you unfollow them? You can still be their friend, but you don't have to see their shit unless you decide to snoop to "check in" on their life.
My twins were born at 26 weeks gestation and even though they're now 8, we are still finding out the impact that had on their development. I've got PTSD from the neonatal unit. Whilst it's definitely possible that your "friends" (are they really your friends though or have you outgrown the friendship?) are just using this as a cry for attention, it's equally possible that they're genuine in their distress.
I still wake up in a panic if my husband sets his alarm to certain specific tones. They sound too similar to the NICU alarms.
Their kids might seem normal but a lot of issues don't become apparent until further down the line. So they're not necessarily out of the woods yet.

REPLY
2 years ago
It’s not just fb tho, they talk about it all the time. Ones 12 year old can’t ride a bike. She blames it on being born 6 weeks early. Kid has no problems running around playing multiple sports. Mum just wants an excuse as to why she can’t ride a bike. That’s the sort of comment that annoys me. Twins being born at only 26 weeks would definately have a huge impact on growth and development and I’d never question anything you’d say. But being born 6 weeks early at a healthy weight and making milestones doesn’t warrant excuses for everything 12 years later.

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2 years ago
^ yeah that's a bit weird. My youngest was born 6weeks early and was only 4pound. She spent her first 10 days in a special care unit to fatten her up and get her breathing on track. She's 14 now and there are no limits to what she can do. If there was, I certainly wouldn't use her being premature as an excuse

REPLY
2 years ago
Okay so it sounds like your friends (again, I really urge you to reevaluate whether you want to continue this friendship, it sounds like you're unhappy with them) might have some repressed trauma. It manifests in different ways for different people. I caught myself craving the shock and subsequent sympathy from people when they first found out about my twins. I booked myself into therapy and have realised it was a cry for acceptance and love (I also realised I've been craving approval all my life - that was a head fuck). Could you suggest a chat with a psychologist for these people?
I'm sorry if I sound like I'm being deliberately obtuse about their attitude, but my own personal experience makes it hard for me to believe the worst of people when they have neonatal issues.
You might be right, they might just be that way for the attention, but it might be a symptom of a deeper problem.

REPLY
2 years ago
Thankyou for a different perspective 💜

ANSWER
2 years ago
I need a break from life and the constant demands. But to admit that would mean Im failing as a mum so i dont...

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REPLY
2 years ago
Here here

REPLY
2 years ago
You’re not failing. I’m sure most mums feel that way and most of us are great mums.

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2 years ago
^👍👍

ANSWER
2 years ago
This is good! I hate the way older people always blame younger people and vice versa. Especially at the moment I see people from both age groups being idiots. Older people in their walking groups not distancing, younger people at the bus stop not distancing. There's a shortage of toilet paper and one of my locals has reported older people going in every single day for pensioner hour and buying their one packet- every day. I saw a young person with a packet ring their mum crying saying I finally found someone.

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2 years ago
This is soo true!

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2 years ago
Coles staff told me the same thing. The same oldies are going in everyday for the last three weeks buying toilet paper.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I am more than happy to give my kids an entire tv day. Especially at the moment. Judge me all you like. We’re all happy.

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2 years ago
I agree if they are up to date with their school work and all chores are done then lets watch some tv

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2 years ago
Why not tv can be educational. Chanel 23 has great science stuff.

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2 years ago
I do it as well. As long as it's not every day, it's fine. I call it 'sanity'.

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2 years ago
I'm letting mine do whatever they want. It's their school holidays. They're both going through alot too, they need to be able to have freedom, ecspecially if they're stuck at home everyday. It's total free play, be it screen or something else, it's their choice. We all need to do what we can to get through this.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I lie about having an appointment if certain friends call & say 'are you busy?' I know they're going to ask me to run errands or look after their kids. Do it once, I end up being used as a 24/7 unpaid assistant/babysitter.

I avoid one friends' kids spending time with mine or them coming to my house. They're undisciplined, violent monsters. Last time they moved through my house like a search & destroy operation, tipping stuff out or breaking it.

We lie about our finances so no one asks for a loan. They think we're poor but we we're doing really well. I have zero sympathy because it's their own fault & some make fun of our frugal choices.

This one is truly horrible - I am secretly delighted when I hear about shit things happening to my SIL. She ruined my wedding, mental health &: relationship with PIL just for attention. Her & her DH look down on us & ignore our kids because we're not good enough for them. If I could make you understand what I've been put through by that bitch you'd say 'i get it'.

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REPLY
2 years ago
I’m the same, my SIL hates me because I married her brother lol, they all think I changed him but really he hates they way they live. So when shit happens to her I can’t help but be happy a little bit. Like her kids are shit heads and always in loads of trouble at school so I don’t offer any help (I’m a high school teacher so I can read them like a book!)

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2 years ago
You guys are cool and don’t sweat the wishing ill on people who have been so mean and despicable. It’s probably a natural thing since you feel corned in this society to pretend to be their friends because no one can handle having real discussions to move forward.

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2 years ago
I lie so I don’t have to babysit my friends kid. He’s a massive whinger, so I always say I’m helping my parents or have an appointment.

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2 years ago
Hahaha

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2 years ago
Op of comment here - Thanks for your kind responses. I really thought I'd get roasted for the comments but was relieved to admit them!! They make me feel like a terrible person so it's nice to know I'm not alone.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I hate dogs. Every time I tell someone they try to convince me I don’t hate dogs, I just haven’t met the right dog. Nah. I hate them. Not interested.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Same! I keep getting told I should get the kids a dog so I played up my discomfort and played it off as a full on fear so I wouldnt be harassed into it. Have 3 cats now so can play the nope too many mouths to feed card.

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2 years ago
We don’t have any pets. I don’t need more work! Everyone tells me that my kids should be growing up with pets 🙄 but not till they are older they can help out. Otherwise it’s just another thing for me.

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2 years ago
I didn’t get a pet until we moved interstate into a new home and the kids were having trouble adjusting they were 6&8 by then. Then I just got one cat. No way would I have got one earlier as all the work would have fallen into me. Do what suits you. Pets are extra work.

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2 years ago
I hate dogs and cats...I think it is probably all the irresponsible bloody owners that have turned me off the animals

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2 years ago
I don’t like dogs either they’re smelly, needy, bark and CRAP all over the garden. Cats on the other hand are wonderful, they’re clean don’t smell and sit on your lap or bed calmly for a pat. If you’re going on a 2-3 night holiday you can just leave them outside with drink and water and they’ll be fine .... so much easier!

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2 years ago
I hate dogs too. Especially when people tell me my kids should get one. Nope. Just more work for me & vet bills are ridiculous!

ANSWER
2 years ago
I think my best friend and her husband are incredibly lazy. He’s a builder and works max 6hrs a day, sleeps in, starts at 10, finishes at 2 to play tennis or something. They live in a shit hole house, like actually deemed uninhabitable by the bank. She’s in and out of jobs every few months and always the victim. Then they whinge about never having money. It’s so frustrating when she says ‘oh you’re so lucky’ when it’s not luck it’s f$&@ing hard work and saving!!! We don’t have takeaway 3x a week, we don’t drink a carton of beer a week, we don’t own a boat and a motorbike and a scooter etc etc. She thinks he works so he’s but normal workdays don’t involve stopping for three hours because you have a headache. Most self employed people don’t take a week off to do bookwork, they do it after hours.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Banks are the cornerstone of our economy. IF they go under we are in more trouble than the early settlers.

Won't and can't happen. Banks won't fold. The gov will hold them up.

We are ahead of the curve and should stay that way unless the Easter break is a disaster. Hopefully people listen and act appropriately.

This is the most important weekend of the last 100 years

ANSWER
2 years ago
That I’m a trust fund kid.
I run my own buisness that does pretty well. But I don’t need to work at all if I don’t want to.
I don’t pay for the home I live in. If we sold it tomorrow it’s worth about 4.5 as the beach literally backs into our house. The trust owns about 20 other properties all around the world that we holiday in. Every other month. My brothers live in beach front and harbour front in Sydney. All my kids school is paid for including any uni they want to do. Sport, ect all paid for. Car loans are done through the trust.
My kids will all be given apartments at 21 and homes when they start a family.
It started with my great grandfather, my grandparents catapulted his company . My parents catapulted the trust fun. So we were the first generation who were part of the ridiculous wealth.

Not even my closest friends know or cousins or uncles aunts, mother in law none of them know.

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REPLY
2 years ago
How could they not know?

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2 years ago
I’ve always wondered how people can afford harbour side homes in Sydney. Have thought to myself I’m in the wrong profession, turns out I was just born to the wrong family 🤣🤣

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2 years ago
Because we don’t tell them lol.
And just as the other commenter , people either wonder, or if the ask we said we made some good investments. They don’t see how deep the pool is (eg they don’t know our kids school is paid for or cars ect)
My dad was actually the only spouse who’s been written into the trust because it was his property knowledge and money management that turned the trust from I think it was around 20 million when they started now it sits at around 240 million. So as trust board members we collectively decided to have him added to the trust. But his brothers all just know he worked in property so I guess that don’t question it. He was well off on his own when he met mum. He was 22 with 3 properties and one mortgage free almost.
But my husband and my brothers wives, all of our children’s future spouse have no stake in the trust. If my husband and I had of split he would technically have got nothing.

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2 years ago
Well that sounds fair...........

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2 years ago
Can i have a loan? ....

ANSWER
2 years ago
I agree on the birth thing. Ive had 4 totally different births. None was better than the other and once your baby is here nobody cares!

ANSWER
2 years ago
I hate p eop lke saying they gave birth when they had ceserians im sorry but its n o t t h e same.

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2 years ago
🤔🤔🤔🤔

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2 years ago
Give birth means have a baby, the baby exited their body so they gave birth.

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2 years ago
And I suppose those born by c- section don't get to have birth days, because no-one gave birth to them? 🤔

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2 years ago
There are different ways to give birth. A medical practitioner will ask you what kind of birth you had. I have had 2 natural births and no c sections but I hate people who say what you have just said. It really minimises what another woman has been through to bring her child into the world.

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2 years ago
I was in non established labour for 36 hours, had a failed vontrouse and an emergency c. I was packed with god knows what plus a catheter and not allowed to sit up for 2 days not to mention the ongoing recovery. F’d if that’s not giving birth

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2 years ago
Any medical professional will tell you that giving birth is the end of a pregnancy. A baby (or babies) has left the uterus and therefore giving birth.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I feel exactly the same. Wish I could tell my friends’ kids to piss off and stop being a little brat so I can have a proper catch up with your Mum 😂

ANSWER
2 years ago
Yeah I hear you on the birth thing. I used to be ashamed I had a section and a premmie, like I failed at everything. Now I just respond with ‘we both nearly died so I’m happy to just be here with my scar and my baby’

ANSWER
2 years ago
Did I write this post? Hahaha. I feel the same way about my friends kids except for my bestfriends 3, who I consider my family. I cant even bond with my partners kids (dont live together) but I do try because I love their dad very much and I'd like to be a good support and role model for them.
And the birth thing - yes! My labour and my children's births were just that - ours. It's not even talked about anymore in my circles as we all had very different births because we are not the same people or circumstance.

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2 years ago
I agree with both confessions too - although I’d add I don’t really like their husbands either, not just their kids!

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2 years ago
The birth thing just turned into a competition with my mothers group, like everything else, so I couldn’t be bothered with it anymore.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I agree with your second confession. Doesn’t matter how you birth, drugs, no drugs, long labour, fast labour, c -section whatever. Also, mothers are not more woman than those who are not mothers.

Also, your first point I agree somewhat. Adore my Niece, but my friends kids.... not really