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Relationships, sex & bargaining

Sometimes you don't always feel like it & your partner or husband is hitting you up. Do you suggest there might be something you need also? Bring me home some dinner so I don't have to cook? Take me out to dinner? A gift of my favorite chocolate?


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Answers (7)

I let him get halfway there and then tell him what I’d really like. “I am out of my perfume, can I pick some up tomorrow?” “They have a sale on at xyz tomorrow, you don’t mind if I get something?” “Can you take the kids to school tomorrow? I am hanging out for a sleep-in” “How about we try that new restaurant tomorrow night - so-n-so can babysit?”
Keep it specific and answerable with a yes/no response. A no gets more questions that he has to pay attention to. A yes gets enthusiastic and energetic lovemaking (regardless of how you feel). Training takes time and deliberation ladies. And before I receive any backlash - you think they aren’t training us!? You spend too much on groceries. Why isn’t the house clean. never see my family etc....

No. We have respect & equality. I don't ask permission to buy things or ask for gifts because we share money & know what we can afford. If I need/want something expensive I'll run it by him and he does the same. If something needs to be done or picked up on the way home I ask, as does he.

 Does he want to have sex with you anymore?
helpful (2) 
 Exactly this
helpful (0) 
 Wow. My husband can't desire me because he respects me, doesn't expect me to beg for small change and doesn't think it's a women's job to clean up after him. Hmmm...

I gotta tell you - equality is pretty hot.

Fyi he's holding out on buying gifts or doing things until you put out. Men aren't as stupid as you think.

Troll away if helps your self esteem.... I won't be returning. I'm looking for something a little more positive!

helpful (1) 
 I love the way you put every answer in the same box. I never said my husband never buys me gifts or treats me like a slave. Fact is we work so hard at saving our pennies we rarely treat ourselves. Sometimes after working & looking after my childrens needs all day I might just need a push in the right direction with a bit something extra & was wondering if anyone else was the same. You're being very judgmental & presumptuous. Positively isn't your problem arrogance is.
helpful (2) 

Eek. Some unhealthy relationships on here!
Sex in return for goods?? You know what that sounds like? Hmm

 Like if he brought you flowers that would be considered romance?
helpful (1) 
 Like prostitution, i'll give you sex in return for expensive perfume???
helpful (0) 
 Your not very clever are you?
helpful (0) 
 Maybe not, but I don't use sex to get my own way or to get fancy material objects from my husband.
I have sex with my husband because we're sexual beings and in love with each other. We get each other gifts because we like to treat one another.
How embarrassing to say "I got this beautiful ring in exchange for a blow job".

helpful (0) 

Some of you are being abused

 Oh shut up 🙄 we’re not all feminazis here and NO we’re not being abused just because we have our own roles and responsibilities we like to stick to. What works for some doesn’t work for others - doesn’t make it right OR wrong OK?? It’s a matter of personal choice and what YOU AS A COUPLE value in the relationship.
helpful (0) 

No, but I am more willing if he had been helpful, so I don’t bargain so much as use positive reinforcement 😆

I tell my husband I don't want sex because you yelled at me so much today and in public in front of people and if you wanted sex tonight maybe you might have thought to be nicer and then hope he will be nice the next day

 Oh and also he tries this on me, I get a lot of tension headaches so he will give me a massage but say I want a headjob later and when I get upset and say I'm in agony with a sore neck and you expect that? he says he is joking but I know he's not because I used to do it! And if he does housework he makes sure to tell me this is foreplay. He's a bit of a dick my husband now I think about it!
helpful (0)