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What have you misheard or misunderstood?

A lady saw us with our two dogs and asked if they fit at night. I was thinking fit where? How do you know what type of bed they have? How do you know they even sleep next to each other? While these thoughts were running through my head my husband answered “ yes, they run in their sleep. They dream of chasing balls”. He knew she meant kicking their legs about in their sleep. Thank goodness he was there to answer.

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Friend of mine said he was off to see a man about a horse, two hours he comes back and I said "so did you buy the horse" he pissed himself laughing. I didn't realise what that term meant lol

 I don’t get it 🙁
helpful (1) 
 ^^ are you the same person who didn’t understand the other ones either? Hmmmm.
helpful (0) 
 I don’t get it either
helpful (0) 
 A common saying by blokes is ....
"I'm going to see a man about a dog"
Meaning, they're going out for a while

helpful (1) 

I was helping dad at work once when I was 16ish years old. He was a tradie. He was working at a very well known "pyjama designers" house.
The day I was helping dad at the house there was a sparky I was talking to. He was telling me about a photo shoot they had in the house the day before. He told me about all the 'stunning birds' that were in the house for this photo shoot. Being the animal lover that I was I said, oh I love birds, what types were there? He gave me a laugh and said all different types.
Yeah I had no idea what he meant until I was older. 🤦‍♀️

 😂😂🍿🍿🍿
helpful (0) 
 Lol
helpful (0) 
 Haha, love it🤣
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My friend was asked where he could get married and if he could get married in a lake, my friend was like WTF do what you want, get married in the ocean for all I care.
But he was asking where you could get marron

 Lol
helpful (0) 
 Don’t get it 😫
helpful (0) 
 Marrons a fish;)
helpful (0) 
 Marron is a type of crayfish
helpful (0) 
 FYI, Re-read & replace married with marron.
Marron are like large yabbies or small crayfish

helpful (0) 

My European friend was visiting from overseas and went out with hubby. Someone kept asking him , “would you like a seat?” And he kept saying “what? What?” I don’t need a seat, eventually leave me alone!” The guy followed him to the toilet eventually, where he then realised he was saying ecstasy.

 Why don’t I understand any of this 😭
helpful (0) 
 Cos they aren't Jokes. They are misunderstandings.
You are misunderstanding right now 😂

helpful (2) 
 Totally legitimate response as it turns out!
helpful (0) 

My husband and son were talking about a circular saw. My daughter yells out from another room not hearing the full story, “ what sort of dinosaur was that?”