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Friend thinks I'm copying her... What would you do/say?

So one of my close friends has been saying to another acquaintance friend that I am copying her. Her reasons were that I bought the same work out clothes (it's cheap Kmart crap! And I didn't realise she had it), I've started using my baby carrier now as my baby is teething and clingy (she always wears her Bub in an ergo and doesn't have a pram) and I'm sending my daughter to the same dance class (all little girls like dance right? And I asked her if the teacher was good there and she said it was brilliant! that's why I chose it and I thought we could do pick ups drop off for each other sometime) there were some other things that were co-insistence too. so now I'm hurt, I'm not bloody copying her. She doesn't know i know about her bitching but it would be hard to bring it up I don't want to hang out with her now but we have been friends for ages an ill see her at the dance class and our mutual friends gatherings. What would you do?


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Answers (38)

For a laugh next time you see her copy everything she says and does.

Kmart workout clothes, baby carrier and a daughter in dance class. That was me 15 years ago. Who the hell does she think she is copying me like that.

Isn't imitation a form of flattery? Seriously though, you're good friends because you have things in common I gather and similar likes and dislikes. So you bought the same clothes from Kmart, both use a baby carrier, and both send your kids to the same dance class. I think she needs to get over herself. And if she continues to bitch about you behind your back, I'd be re-evaluating your friendship to be honest.

Well she doesn't sound like a very good friend, my good friend and I have gone to the races before in the same outfit, we just laughed about it and agreed we both have great taste! That's what good friends do! Most mummies wear babies in carriers, I wouldn't consider that copying

I'd be more worried about the mutual acquaintance that told you. Clearly she knew it would upset you and hurt your feelings. Her job was to put said "friend" back in her place and leave the matter alone.
Rather she off loaded it on to you to deal with. Not fair imo, especially over something so petty!

Going to offer my 2 cents. Friendships are hard work and I can honestly say the best thing I've learned is be upfront with her and tell her everything you've been told and ask her is this true? Don't SMS, go get a coffee. If she really is a true friend, isn't the friendship worth fighting for? Sometimes we make mistakes with friends, say the wrong thing. Maybe she was having a bad at. Maybe she wasn't saying you were copying in a nasty way. Just saying, it's worth considering this. The ppl on here who advised to tell her to piss off, or you don't need her, get revenge by copying her etc., is sooo immature and trust me it won't make you feel better. If you find that she's not the real friend you though, then yes sometimes we have to move on, live and learn. Just be the mature one, don't sink to high school level. I have lost friends that meant a lot to me, and I've learned a lot along the way. I hope things work out for you.

 Also, did she actually say the things the other person said she did, or said the things the way (nastily), that it was conveyed back to you ?
You have only got that persons word for it.
It might be a storm in a teacup.

helpful (2) 

Half the Mum's I know wear Kmart gym gear and use baby carriers...and I highly doubt they are all copying her. She sounds petty and bitchy. I would limit my interactions with her to a polite hello at dance classses and group gatherings.

Why does it matter if she thinks that you're coppying her? Id just pretend I didn't know she'd said that behind my back and just let it slide.

Clearly she is jealous of you, otherwise why would she feel the need to make a big deal over things so insignificant?

If this is a good friend I would send her a text to ask. It is possible she made a passing comment and a gossiping friend has blown it out of proportion.
If your friend did say that and you don't want to stay close friends with her anymore thats ok she sounds like a high maintenance friend. Just be friendly with her at gatherings and leave it at that and find a new dance class for your daughter.
If this person was a good friend give her a chance to tell her side of the story and don't worry about the gossip getting annoyed with you for telling her.

When friends start getting weird about things like that, I'd say she's probably getting over the friendship and everything about you is annoying her now 😢😢

Damn! She doesn't think your copying - she's knows your doing a way better job than she is at it! She needs to drop the high school crap and grow up - especially if she has kids!

I would love it if my friend was copying me - it means we have great (and the same) taste!

 Least you can help each other and recommend things to each other I have a friend like this but I think she just look at it I've had the practice as I have 7kids and bubs on the way. But she dose the same and then another friend of us both tells me all the crap
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My bestie passed away and I miss her every day. We were so similar we often found we bought the same clothes and when we wd realise we thought it was the best! Have a good laugh and really connect over it as well as our good taste! I was proud to be like her and vice versa! That is a true friend. Yours isnt im afraid unless it was a silly joke but u won't know until u ask her

 I’m so sorry to hear that. Sending hugs your way xxx
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