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Why are you staying in a loveless marriage??? What's your reasons???


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Answers (14)

I stayed because I had taken a vow, we had 3 young children and I relied on him paying the bills and I thought I wouldn't be able to do that all by myself.
He ended up leaving me. Best decision he ever made. Turns out I'm a strong woman and I'm perfectly wonderful doing it alone with my 3 kids.

 Exactly. Me too. Xx
helpful (1) 

It's not horrible. It's the easier choice for now, when it's not the easier choice I'll leave

 Pretty much feel the same it's a roller coaster what if there is still good bits to come !! I feel I have worked so hard for things that are so close to being complete in our life I am very unhappy but have already put in so much time and effort to fight the battle to walk away
helpful (1) 
 Yep this is me too ladies! Xx
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Because I can live comfortably with my husband. Our kids have a great life. If I was a single mum I couldn't provide them with the life they currently live. They would never be able to have holidays and treats. Am i in love with my husband? Am i happy? Probably not but I think I'd be more unhappy if I left.

 My kids have a great life too and I know that I couldn't give them the same if I was a single Mum (and I am not just referring to money either but also time).
helpful (3) 

It's easier, I imagine it would get nasty over money and I'm not walking away with nothing.
I had a miserable life until I got the shits and made a few changes, I stopped putting up with him being awful. I just got on with life, he goes out and does his thing and plays sport on the weekends and rather than sit and wait at home the kids and I go out and have fun. I enjoy taking the kids to their sport on Saturdays and Sunday we go out and have fun. I don't ask can we go to .. I just get the kids ready and ten minutes before we leave I tell him we are going out and if he wants to join us he can. There is usually a carry on that he wants to do something else, while he is telling me off we usually just walk out the door and do our own thing.

Because my children deserve a good education and to live with some comfort. My parents separated and money was always a huge issue. I was always the kid without money for excursions and for uniforms etc. Once my teachers paid for me to join a trip away. It was very generous but poverty can be humiliating. I guess it's self-sacrifice for the greater good. It would also be very difficult to "start again" at my age and if I returned to work it wouldn't be enough to sustain us. Also it can be a difficult emotional adjustment and it's not an abusive marriage just boring.

Because my children's happiness is more important then my own

helpful (2) 

My kids, my house, the fear of being "I told you so" by every man and his dog, the fear of being alone, the fear of failing by myself and having to live with mum, I have no heating without him to go and cut firewood, laziness. Lots of reasons.

Because I would have to struggle to make ends meet while he lived the life of Riley, swanning in every other weekend to take the kids and play the Disney dad. Then I imagine the second family would come along and our poor kids would have to deal with step siblings. No thanks I like my kids too much.

I stay in a marriage I don't want to be in because if I left that would mean that my husband would have to look after the kids by himself and I am scared that he would hurt them. If I am there I can keep an eye on situations and diffuse them.

 I've been exactly where you are and it took three years of family law court to sort through the mess and even then the results weren't to my satisfaction and my kids weren't safe. I don't have any words of wisdom but my heart breaks for you because it's a horrible situation to be in. Thinking of you even though I don't know you xo
helpful (1) 
 This was me too. In the end I became a sole parent. It has its pros and cons. I wish he had at least wanted to be in the kids lives. But it was all or nothing for him. The greatest advantage is that the kids are safe. That Trump's everything. So I guess no situation was going to be 100% perfect for the kids. But this is the best. I just love them so much. So I choose them and now I'm a single sole mum.
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 OP of this comment. He is a good dad generally but has no patience with them and will fly off the handle at the smallest thing. Dragging them through the family court system would be a nightmare. He has said numerous times that if we divorced he would go for full custody. I doubt he would get it but I don't want to risk it.
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 My husband also said he would go for full custody. My children haven't seen him for 3 years. It was all manipulation.
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I stayed because I couldn't afford to leave.

I ended up opening my own bank account and taking and extra $10-$50 a week when I did the food shopping and after a year I could leave.

Do I stay? Do I go?
I'm in a loveless unhappy marriage too.
I stay for many of the same reasons as the other responders here.

 It's worth leaving. I left 3 years ago - life is good now - a few financial struggles is all. My marriage was sad and toxic - we were not good for each other - so much verbal abuse. When I think about it now it seems like an entirely different world! He has moved on with someone who is way more suitable for him. I'm happy, I only have to answer to myself nowdays!
helpful (1) 

Because no matter what happens at home you have to prove it in court. To stand up and apologise in making 'false' accusations in court would break me.

I knew if I left he'd be a dead beat piece of shit dad. Always making promises and never keeping them. At least if we stayed together they would see him. Eventually, we separated. And surprise surprise, he's a dead beat piece of shit who hasn't seen his kids in 5 years and doesn't pay child support.

I have a son who has asd. Although most of the time I am dealing with him by myself, I know he loves his dad and wouldn't deal with us separating very well at all. He's high functioning but doesn't like change. Additionally, he can be violent, and I'd be scared if I knew there wasn't another adult coming home at some point.