Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Daughters friends mum

My daughter has a friend in her class and we live around the corner from each other and at first it was good the kids played every now and then. But lately she has been coming down everyday and just wants to sit and talk usually about 4.30/5 and will stay till you tell her to leave yesterday she come down 3 times. Once when I was just getting ready to go out for a BBQ, my neighbour said she popped back in when we were out and we only just got home in the afternoon only at home for like 5 minutes and she goes "oh what you doing" I was getting ready for work today, kids ready for school, needed to wash the dog As he was all muddy just busy in general etc. She doesn't get the hint not to come down or when u say your busy she just sits down anyway and it's awkward just going about your business when someone is there but I don't want to sit and chat all friggen day, no real question just a rant lol

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (7)

If she doesn't take hints just tell her bluntly "sorry I'm really busy, head home and we can catch up later"... she doesn't sound easily offended.

When she arrives say thank goodness you are here and get her to clean your house. Win win. She gets company and you get a free cleaner.

I’ll never understand people like that! Don’t they have anything else to do?!

Keep a handbag & some lippy by the front door. When she knocks on your door for a visit ..... say "sorry, I was just on my way out for an appt" & drive around the block, (add extra stuff like, I'll be out all day, if you want). Do this a few times, then try, I'm super busy most weeks ..... Wednesday's are my best days for a catch up / coffee.

 I wouldnt put the bag at the front and pretend.. I’d just say what you said in your last sentence. ‘These are the days which best suit me. Just drop me a quick text before you pop over to make sure I’m free’.
helpful (1) 

Maybe she is lonely why dont you ask her what else she does? Or what her plans are for the next few days and work in for the next few days you will be busy so wont be able to catch up. I think its worth being gentle you maybe her only "friend".

My SIL used to do this when our babies were little. She'd rock up at 9am and leave at 4pm. I felt obliged to sit and talk to her and I was too polite to say no. I started just doing my housework while she was there and it didn't faze her one bit. We moved 45 minutes away which was a bit extreme but worked well.

This was so normal 30 years ago 😂. Not trying to say you shouldn't be annoyed because I would be too, but these visitors that just pop in everyday were a regular thing when I was a kid. Its the difference working mums has made. I'm not sure what you can do besides just say I have heaps to do I don't want to be rude but I will text you when you can come and visit. Or maybe its her child that is pushing the visits? And she is tagging along because she does not want to just lump her child with you? Maybe she is lonely?

 Same when I was a kid in the 80s too. It drove my mum crazy but she was too polite to tell them to go.
helpful (0) 
 Not true at all that mums didn't work 30 years ago, but you know Id rather be at work than having to entertain somebody for hours all day every day.
helpful (0) 
 Not every Mum worked in the 80's, nothing like it is today. My Mum worked but not until I, her youngest of 3, was 6. Daycares were not as common then!
helpful (0)