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Dance teacher upsetting my daughter

My daughter is in a dance school that enters troupes in group competitions. I have always been a quite laid back Dance Mum and this is the first year my daughter has done anything like this, she has just turned 7. The comp is coming up in a few weeks and my daughter and one other girl have been told off quite a few times for missing steps and told they ‘don’t know anything’. My girl is quite upset, saying that she’s going to let down her teacher and the rest of the girls if they don’t win. We have been practising at hone and I Jeep on reinforcing the ‘just have fun and do your best’ line and I ha e also tried explaining that there will always be someone who will come first and last etc. I want to say something to the teacher, as this has upset her, but she really wants to dance this dance and is mostly very excited about it. Another part of me thinks, ‘you have her for 3 hrs a week since feb, why is she missing steps, what have you been doing with her &why are you upsetting my child?


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Answers (9)

So...this is probably not going to be a very popular opinion, but in my experience, most dance teachers are like this once you start getting into the more competitive levels (of any kind of dance).

I did dancing for years and even changed dance schools to try and get back to having fun instead of being super competitive. But they were all the same.

As long as they have dance moms egging them on, desperate for great results, dance teachers will still get away with it.

You're doing the right thing by encouraging your daughter, but I'm afraid it may fall on deaf ears if the teacher is still being a bully.

 I disagree that most or all teachers are like this. In my experience dance teachers have quite different attitudes and approaches, often related to the dance school where they work. The whole school usually has a certain ethos, some are very serious and competitive, others are all about fun, fitness & recreation. However the OP might not be able to find a school near her with an approach that suits her! I think she should keep looking and talk to a few different schools, mention specifically wanting to dance for fun and fitness, not looking to take it up professionally, and see what they say.
helpful (0) 

I pulled my daughter out of dancing as soon as it stopped being fun. When they're young it's cute, casual and fun and then when they get older they are expected to take it more seriously. Some kids love the challenge, some don't. My girl definitely did not like dancing as a serious activity.

I’ve always told my kids, as soon as it’s no longer fun its time to try something new. Kids should love sport, not dread it.

Try a different dance school if you live in a big enough area that has more than 1 available??

Ah yes, gymnastics squads became a bit like this. Having a break was the best thing we did for my girls, now they don't want to go back.

If he teacher treats her like that, take her out. Thats no way you talk to a 7 year old, no way. My daughter is doing dancing for years, sometimes they win sometimes they dont. No teacher in her right mind will behave like this. Save your cash or take her somewhere else where she is taught to dance and enjoy it, not bullied.

Welcome to dancin

 Wha ya sayin??
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Omg you have said how laid back you are. It’s a competitive dance school ffs!
Go to the more laid back dance schools if that’s how you treat the situation.
It’s like a company hiring people that do a half arsed job because they just want to enjoy their job.

 Wtf it's like you just fell out of Dance Moms! You're talking about a 7 year old girl and her sport. It should be still fun not focused on winning. If it was a footy coach pushing 7 year olds like that he would get the sack.
helpful (6) 
 Let's face it - there are mum's and girls out there who are into it for more than 'fun' and that's OK. Just like young Olympians etc. were pushed and began their careers. There are teachers who enter competitions and have big aspirations - it's their job and reputation and that's why these mums choose to enrol in these schools. They want their kid to be pushed to the best and obviously believe their kid can hack it. Whether 'our mummy beliefs' align with these mum's and teachers is not the issue.W why enrol her in one of these dance schools? There are so many more laid back ones where it is just fun. And probably cheaper. Don't enrol her in more 'competitive' demanding one and then expect them all to take it easy on her. She might not be cutting the mustard - yes she is a kid, yes it is meant to be fun, but you have clearly chosen the wrong school for your kid. I was a chubby baby elephant and danced for fun. Would have been setting me up for failure enrolling me in any other place.
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 So you are saying our young gymnasts etc. are all about fun and not about winning? Let's face it there is gym for little girls that want FUN, there is gym for girls (or their parents) who aspire to reach a much higher level. Unfortunately to get to that point, it;s not always fun. Same as dance and many other sports - if you want your 7 year old to have fun, put her in the right school where they don't do any scouting or 'competitions'. My dance school as a young girl put on a mid year and Christmas concert for fun/celebrating. There were a mix of ages and abilities and bodies. And it was so cheap.
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 No I didn’t fall out of dance moms. Op has her kid in a competitive dance class... she needs to strive to achieve or move on. Footy is the same if it’s a competitive club
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I had a nasty dance teacher and Ill never forget it. IMHO pull her out and find a school where the teacher isnt a jerk. At that age they should be giving 5 positives to every negative