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I am 42 and thinking of having a 4th baby - am I mad ? I do feel tired as I have 3 under 6 the youngest being 2 but I would love to even it out


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Answers (17)

I had triplets last week
I am 45 today

  congratulations, that's wonderful!! I hope you have a happy healthy life x3 !! Xx
helpful (3) 

You aren't mad. You are crazy! You are already tired with 3. Imagine how tired you will be with 4. Higher chance of genetic problems which is more work. What if you have twins? Will you go again to even it out?

Do whatever feels right for you. If you feel that you're not done having babies, then go again!
I have a 14 yr old and a 1 yr old and we're trying for our third and final.
Did I have more energy pregnant at 21 than I did when I was pregnant at 34? Absolutely I did! but it won't stop me from trying again now that I'm almost 36.
Life sometimes means we choose to have children later in life. As long as you and bubs are healthy then that's all that matters.
Good luck!

I don't think you're mad, but I'm curious why you want to even it out? Whats wrong with three?

 Nothing is wrong with 3 I just want to have more kids- even out was wrong choice of words I think I meant even more
helpful (1) 

How did you cope with the change from 2 to 3?
I have 4 and found going from 2 to 3 the biggest change.
If you did fairly well with that change, then why not?
I'm in my twenties and always tired too lol. I think being a Mum in general is quite tiring. If adding children to my family was based on how tired I am, I probably wouldn't have gone past baby number one lol.
Good luck, whatever decision you make Xx

If you had bigger age gaps I would say you're crazy. But your kids are still young, you're not out of that stage yet so if you want to add to it then go for it. I had my kids very young and I was still tired and worn out, age doesn't make much of a difference with parenting as far as energy goes.

 I agree with this
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Im 40 and talked to an ob. about having a 3rd at my age. He said that the risks arent always as much as they are cracked up to be if you are healthy, have other kids without a large gap and they have the same dad. There are some increased risks mainly genetic conditions but you can test for that, and increased risk of stillbirth but its still not a high risk if that makes sense. But some of the risks of infertility, birth complications etc are overplayed about age if it isnt your first

Now just have to convince hubby as hes on the fence.

 Just wondering why them having the same dad makes a difference? Is it because you already have an idea if there will be genetic health issues?
helpful (1) 
 Not the poster here, but I'm intrigued too. When I had high blood pressure with my 3rd the midwife asked if its the same father as my other 2, because apparently its common to have complications when you have children to more than one father. I thought she was tripping 😂 And no they all had the same father.
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 Convince hubby ? Hope he leaves you
helpful (1) 
 Whoever said “hope he leaves you” is an ugly person inside
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No way. I have 3 and another one would cause unnecessary stress on the them, my body, mental health, finances and marriage. If you're already tired then you'd be crazy to have another one. Get a hobby instead

I think yes.....
lol I’m 29 with two... 3 and under but everyone is diff- some ppl can have a small army of kids and cope brilliantly well; unlike me who is struggling with the two.. so go for it!! You know yourself and your family better than anyone !! Xx

You're only mad if you think you are ;-)
Each child is so different. There are so many possibilities with each child/pregnancy.
But the long and short of it is that if you feel you are NOT done having kids, if you think you can handle it, if you can financially manage it, if your family relationshps are good...then why the hell not?! :-)
I'm 41 later in the year and we're planning on our 4th. Currently my oldest DD is 6 1/2. My youngest is not quite 2. I'm not particularly tired, like you, but we're super busy nonetheless!
My husband and I kind of figure that we have all the material goods (toys, cots, clothes etc), so the 4th kid is kind of like a 'freebie' in that sense (!!), but when it comes to the crunch, the world can go hang. My husband and I love eachother and we love our family. We both work P/T...but we can financially afford it. So...we thought "why not?". And we don't even have any family around to help us...and we don't rely on daycare. So we really DO do all the work ourselves!!
Anyway, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Do what is right for you and your family.

Do what works for your family. Does your tiredness impact on the time you spend with your children? Are you grumpy/short with them because you are tired? If so, I’d probably vote against another baby because you’ll inevitably be exhausted with a newborn and three other little ones. Personally, I am in my mid-thirties and I have two under three. I think two is the perfect number for us, two toddlers are so much fun, but also lots of work. Plus, I want to do my best to set them up financially and pay for private school education.

4 is a big change if your vehicle doesnt accommodate 4 child/carseats. Other than that, once you move from 2 to 3, any additonal kids slot in pretty smoothly

 People told me when we had 2 that a 3rd would "just slot in". They lied 😂
helpful (3) 
 A third kid is really a game changer. Wouldn’t have it any other way though.
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I am 45 and had IVF and had triplets 5 months ago and had a baby when I was 15 ans wish I had more when I was younger

 Really wow how r u finding the triplets? I don’t have much help but yes I would love a 4th kids are beautiful
helpful (0) 
 She finds the triplets in trollville, usually.
helpful (0)