Got an Answer?
Don't feel bad! Your brothers and sisters need to share the load, but if shes really that bad and they cant, well then, shes made her own bed. You have clearly tried hard with her for several years and she isn't willing to do the same.
You KNOW that what they're saying is unjust and unfair. Stick to your guns. Turn it back on them and say "well I had her for the last X amount of years, no one else has offered/invited, and she is equally everyone elses family as much as mine so it's someone else's turn to host her".
Regardless of how they respond you know that you have done nothing wrong and you can hold your head high. You don't need their approval.
Your mother isn’t going to be around forever, can you imagine the guilt in years to come when you look back at Christmas 2018 where you and your siblings all tried to palm her off for the year so you can all be “christmassy”.
Maybe her lack of affection for you and siblings stems from her own upbringing. She lost her life partner 8 years ago and most likely a part of her died that day too.
I don’t know her obviously like you do but I do know that we should love our parents unconditionally unless they are abusive trouble making a/holes.
Why don’t you ask her to make a special dish or dessert for the day and that way she can boast about how she made it etc looks to me she’s craving attention of some kind. Christmas is a time for family get togethers, you and your siblings shouldn’t make your own mother feel like a burden.
Sending you lots of love. I am in the same situation, my mum is rude and condescending to everyone. My in-laws won't have her for Christmas now. Its hard because sometimes I know she is on her own for the day. Some years we have Christmas with her, but now as my dad has a new partner mum won't invite him. I think it's time to stop having Christmas with family.
Bloody Xmas, sometimes it’s not worth the hassle hey!
My mother (my only family - only child, single parent, estranged from extended family) told me yesterday that she doesn’t do Xmas anymore, won’t be coming to mine with my in-laws, won’t be seeing my kids
Makes me feel really sad for her and kind of made me feel like I’ve failed somehow as a daughter 😔
Her choice in the end though I guess
I suspect the reason you're being targeted as the bitch is purely convenience. You're the one easiest to bully since you've had her over for Christmas previously. If you stop inviting her someone else will have to step up!
Perhaps suggest a rotating roster of who has her over each year. If the refuse say 'well, I've done my duty for years so it's time one of you did it, so if she's alone that's your decision, not mine.'
They'll still try to bully & guilt you because it suits their plans. it's entirely up to you if you let them.
If it helps, I was raised to let people walk all over me to 'keep the peace'. It took a horrible situation where I was being bullied like no one could believe possible by 'family', to the point I was completely broken, to make me stand up for myself & not let ANYONE bully me.
Can you lie and say hubbys aunt has invited you this year so maybe u can take her for lunch Boxing Day or Xmas eve; just the two of you, otherwise it’s soo busy Xmas day I barely get to chat to you!?
Omg this is us too except it's my mother in law we always have to invite to my family Christmas, it's also her birthday so we feel extra bad. This year I finally didn't invite her and then I found out my mum bloody did 😭 f**k. I feel like I can't even be myself at my own family Christmas.
Bitch or not, your mother is handling her life the best way she knows how to do it.
If she could handle it any better she would not be a bitch but a loving mother.
I know it is hard but it is the best she knows how to do it
Say that you are going away for christmas.
Have her for dinner instead of lunch?