Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Changed my mind and feel will be judged

Hubby and I visited his family interstate and stayed there for 3 days and changed our minds wanting a baby ( ivf ) and decided to go on holidays with the $30k
After seeing the mum struggle with ironing and housework and the kids hubby and I thought fuck this
We are worried we will be judged being childless and called selfish
Do you wish you could turn back time ?

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (8)

You will be judged no matter what you do. Just enjoy your life.

Fear of being judged is not enough reason to have a kid when you don't really want to.

Yes you will be judged. Just as much as mums are.. well..... almost as much. I had my kids later than average and was constantly grilled about not having kids. Then I became a mum and found out what’s it’s really like to be judged. People are have opinions on everything even if it is none of their business. You cannot live your life living up to other people’s expectations.

Also if you think the parenting is about struggling with ironing and housework etc then you’re very wrong. If only parenting was that easy 😂

(Ialso have a feeling this thread was inspired by another thread about someone feeling overwhelmed by ironing and housework...... but just in case I’m wrong you have my legitimate response above).

I'm sure I'm judged. I had my kids at 19 + 20. I work full-time. I'm kinda bogany. I'm messy. But I just avoid real people so I don't have to hear about it 😂

 Amazes me how many men have low standards when they f**k a woman
helpful (0) 
 I could have written this 😂
helpful (0) 
 Haha this is me too lol
helpful (0) 

I love my kids and had them at 30 so I knew what I was doing. It is an incredible experience but not without its challenges. Also, you will never be truly ready so if you are thinking I won’t because I’m not ready than I can tell you it won’t happen. I never held a baby until I held my first and was not very maternal, you do learn to adapt. Good luck on whatever you both decide.

I feel bad for bringing my beautiful sweet children into this cold and cruel world. I am suffering debilitating anxiety about my children being away from me because of the state of things.
Either way we are wrong. But I could never be without my children. Ever.
All the horrible housework is worth it, it's a love you never imagined feeling until you have it.
All the best, different strokes for different folks.

 OMG I can relate. My anxiety gets so bad when I think of all the negative things that could affect my kids! I knowww it's me overreacting and just anxiety but it's still really a real fear for me
helpful (0) 

Don't worry about what others think. It's your life. Enjoy it xxx

You can always retort with 'have you seen the state the world is in? Why would I bring a child into that? THAT would be selfish'. Either way, you'll be judged cause people suck.