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You're missing the point, it's HER birthday. Who care did you aren't invited?
Just because somebody is family doesn't mean they like each other.
I am very lose to my second cousin. Definately not with my first cousins. With our family functions we only invite the family members that we are in regular contact with via phone or in person.
I invited 2 of my seconds cousins to my sons 21st because I speak to them everyday or week.
If I invited all my cousins and family member there would have been another 50 + people for me to pay for.
I did this once. My niece did something awful to my daughter, I have nothing to do with her or will again. I was hosting my grandmother's milestone birthday and didn't invite my niece. I did tell my family I shouldn't be hosting because of this, but being the only one with a suitable place I had to.