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I walk in a smile and hello everyone even if they don't reply I usually get a smile. I got a few death stares from other parents the first time I did just that to a well known bikie club memebers wife 😂 Poor woman gets snobbed all the time, she always looks pleased to be acknowledged. One mum turns up to drop off in pj pants most mornings, than I realised she has 5 kids to get ready, they all look sparkly. Meh I often feel like grabbing her a take out coffee when I get one on my way instead of looking down on her like some of the snooty ones do.
Even the snooty mums I feel for, the layers of make up must take forever and being such a bitch must be exhausting.
My kids don't associate with class mates out of school. Definitely would never host a whole class birthday party as they are such a mixed bunch.
yes and its horrible. with five kids all of whom are heavily involved in extracurriculars i found i've been snubbed everywhere, to this day at 30years old i'm not sure what it is about how i come across that puts women off. I'm very friendly, non judgey and not codependent, i don't do the overdressed heavy makeup thing because hell i need to be comfy to constantly keep things on their juggling sticks and i can't do makeup i'm allergic to everything lol.
I will chat to anyone and my kids are a very friendly bunch as well, and while they have great social groups at school i have found they have met resistance for birthday invites and joining social cliques because the mums aren't friends with me. I have tried swallowing the nauseous anxiety and approaching the closed in circles with their little blankets laid out, and their backs turned eyebrows arched but whatever it is that makes you 'in' i just don't have.
Its' hard i would love some mum friends to share that sympathetic understanding with and to share and spread the happy times but apparently it's not to be, i just focus on teaching my kids to be kind, accepting and confident in their own minds.
We had a group of parents constantly complaining about my number 2 of 4 child. The school always listened he'd get in trouble, we would back the school. In the end we asked for help for him only to have the specialist observe his behaviour to find out the other kids targeted him and he was always retaliating or defending himself. Silly us didn't listen to him... one of the parents hit me up on last day of school, whoopsy for her!!! I went at her like a firecracker. I didn't realise how stupid parents are to get involved. This is 3 years ago, now we are still trying to get his trust back. But I always listen to his side now before backing the school.
I hate how they find their groups and then the kids are excluded from play dates when one parent isn't in that group. It makes you feel like absolute shit.
haven't experienced it with my kids but picking up my nephews. bitchy under the breath comments about being too young to have kids, that my kids called me by my first name and not mum, yep smart ones they were. picking kids up in my work uniform it's so sad I have to work it must be hard not having money or after a nightshift getting up and looking like crap cos to me it was 3am and maybe I should try harder. never said anything to them for my nephews, until a really crap shift and lost it calling them all trophy wives. never effected the boys really they didn't like those womens kids anyway.
I used to get this all the time until i dressed how i normally do. Instead of wearing casual clothes to pick up- i dressed how I DO when heading into town for lunch dates etc. Went from a slacks and singlet, messy bun and no make up to heels, holey tights, low cut singlet, hair and makeup on point and just smiled at them in their lil group like they werent shit to me. Its amazing how much they are intimidated by beauty. It pisses them off too that i always smile and wave to their hubbys ;) bi****s should have been nice when I tried to make friends
Yes I hate going to school for pickup. This actually gets me down. I am openly ignored by many. Cannot wait til school years are over.
It's even harder when you are an older parent by a generation. I absolutely hate picking my child up from school, most parents are nice but some of them look at you daggers. It hurts when you are friendly, couteous and giving. I have to accept that all people are not like me. These parents I've come to believe have their own issues. Me, I'm grateful for my manners. I don't do sporadic Hellos.
People always talk about 'school mums' and I don't really get it. I guess I'll find out next year when my kid starts but so I can mentally prepare myself, when/where do you talk to these women? Do you have to all get out of your cars and gather at a certain spot to collect kids? Are you expected to try and make friends? Can you not just stay in the car and play candy crush, then catch up with your actual friends later?
I only mentioned phone games as a suggestion of something to kill time, I'd just as likely read a book. I'm not a terribly social person and already have plenty of friends so I'm hoping I can get away with minimal contact with school mums. Sounds like I'll be ok.
It's funny but you are not alone on this matter. I hate picking up my kids after school or even morning drop off. Some of the mums behave like they were in high school! Come on grow up! I was bullied at school because of my hair and skin colour being different but come on, back to the bitchiness again, we are way over this era people. It's annoying and frustrating.
Yes this has happened to me & the whole gang of them then turn on you & spread malicious gossip. In hindsight you just need to be very careful when dealing with a group of women. The claws can suddenly appear very quickly. You have to get things into perspective & rise above it. Sooner or later they will have their own troubles to deal with as such is life & you will not be such a focus of attention.! It is often as a result of petty jealousy & insecure pack mentality. Just keep smiling enjoying life & your beautiful family..that will kill them about right!!
For what it's worth, I recently moved to NZ and took on a headteacher role at a niche school in a small town. The cliquey mums make my life hell too - I can't do anything right and I've cried often about this. I try to ignore them but it clearly doesn't fly in my role and they refuse to be pleased because who do I think I am walking in and doing my job. Stay strong ladies and be kind to each other.
Go to tallpoppylives.com and read my blog on Mafia mums in the schoolyard. Hope it puts a smile on your dial 😊
School mums are the most judgemental bi****s I've ever met, they think their crap don't stink and all their kids are perfect I can not wait til school era is over really. They pick on others cloths the way they look etc, their is one bitchy group at every school. I have a few ladies I chat to but don't associate with anyone outside of school, been there done that never again, I seem to find the needy cling ons, or those that think I want their husband, please
There is a Mum at my kids’ school who ices me, just me, every time we meet. She is friends with all the other mums, but won’t say hello back to me, didn’t rsvp or turn up to my son’s party, didn’t invite my kid to her son’s party. The other day I went up to talk to my friend, then realized she was talking to snobby mum, but I smiled and said hello. Snobby mum ignored me and just told my friend she had to go in this offended way. Absolutely no idea what I’ve done. My kid has no problem with her kid. Even if there was a problem, why behave like that? I’m starting to think I have an evil twin who farts in this woman’s handbag or something!