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If your partner "finishes" first, does he still try and get you there, or that's it better luck next time?

I love my man he really is good in bed and tries to make sure I get there before him. But if he happens to go first its all over, sometimes I could be so nearly there and its just done lol. If I go while we are having foreplay I don't just stop him there and say, "Woah that was the best" and start snoring lol. I finish him off.


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Answers (27)

My experience is the more you give if your not getting, even after you've asked, the worse it gets over time. Its inconsiderate at the least, and selfish. If you're not getting what you need, you end up getting more and more resentful.

For me it's the same. If he goes first, I'm S.O.L. "Well, you're welcome, then. I'll just go cry in the shower, I guess..."

Usually husband makes me cum first, then we move onto his orgasm. Sometimes neither of us cum, we've enjoyed the session.

But he's been really slack in the last couple of years in giving me decent foreplay (seriously tap tap lets go ....) & an orgasm. The focus is mostly on his orgasm & him getting a heady (mostly weekly ot more). He rarely returns the oral pleasure too, like about 4 months ago & 7 months ago. Bullshit really ...

Yes, we're having marital issues, however I'm still making an effort & giving. I have talked to him, but he doesn't listen, he's too self absorbed at the moment.

 That's not good. Maybe buy some toys and say you would rather have fun like that if he doesn't want to pleasure you.
helpful (5) 
 Thanks..... I've got a few vibrators
helpful (0) 
 why are you giving him head if he wont return the favour? Tell him to get stuffed.
helpful (14) 
 I agree with above
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Wow. All these answers are making me feel extremely lucky! I ALWAYS get to finish first 😮 my husband goes down on me as part of foreplay and apparently he’s an expert at oral because he gets me to orgasm every time. (He also learned early on that I’m more adventurous and eager to please him after an orgasm so he knows it’s in his best interests to focus on me first)

 My hubby is a master at this too, then we screw, it’s usually amazing! Plus he loves going down on me!
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It’s always better luck next time he’s selfish and it’s always they same oh I’m sorry I feel bad

My husbands lastest focus is to try & get me to a vaginal O. Which sounds great .... but he neglects the build up, not enough foreplay at all. I need clit stimulation &/or GSpot to reach an O .... always have. I realise that he may be a little excited, but he goes too fast when he does give me some time, i do gently remind him. It's hard to understand, because i know he prefers me to go slower (i do). I wish he would spend a bit of time at my breast/nipples too, they are such a turn on for me when caressed & squeezed - yes he knows that too ...... He also knows i like receiving oral - not very lucky there either (few times a year). He gets weekly+ BJ's. I'm feeling a bit neglected, sex seemed to be mainly focused on him, so i don't initate often - when i do it's 'turn ' to receive ... However, i very rarely if even reject his advances. I'm hanging for a good 'me' focused shag. Maybe it's my turn on my birthday ....

 He sounds very selfish.
helpful (2) 
 Have you told him this? Honestly tell him how to get you off and ya boy does it. Our men get off on us getting off...if only we could cum when they picked up wet towels off the bathroom floor! Lol
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 Weekly bjs but you only get it a couple of times a year?? You need to drop that from your routine bet he picks up the pace then.
helpful (7) 

My husband and I climax at the same time 99% of the time. In 10 years I can count on one hand how many times he has climaxed first, every time he has offered to help me climax too. I've also had to stop having sex after climaxing because I'm too sore and sensitive to continue and my husband didn't fuss at all.
Some of you have cu**s for husbands, I've dumped men for being selfish lovers and I would do it again because a good sex life is vital for me to be able to maintain a long term relationship. I would either cheat on or heavily resent my partner if they didn't care about my sexual needs hence why I've never had a long term relationship with a selfish lover as I know I just couldn't do it.

 That's great that you know what you want, but for me , I don't really give a crap about sex to that degree to call my husband selfish for wanting it more. I wouldn't call it selfish, he does get off early and sometimes I am a little unsatisfied but meh. I am happy that outside the bedroom he's very affectionate, a good caring father and a husband who listens and connects with me emotionally more than any lover I have had who blew my socks off!
helpful (2) 
 I'm sorry I wrote the previous response. Your response was the only one I read and I never read the others which now I see where you are coming from! Sigh, apologies!
helpful (1) 
 Not a problem. I also want to say I agree with you. Not everyone feels how I do about sex. My husband is terrible with housework and I'm sure that would be a deal breaker for other women.
helpful (3) 
 🙂 unfortunately my husband is pretty poor in that department too, guess you can't win them all!
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 I agree. To me sex is really important in a relationship. And I do heavily resent my husband if I don't finish and he finishes first, or if there's no sex on his behalf for a week or so. Poor sex is probably a deal breaker.
So..He had to shape up or leave, I'm old enough to know I don't need to put up with that.

helpful (0) 

My partner kept doing this, he's a kind man but has selfish streaks (don't we all). I got offended one day that he wouldn't help me finish after he was done so I went for a shower and started playing "What about me, it isn't fair" by Shannon Noll and he didn't like that very much at all. I thought it was hilarious -melodramatocally singing it in the shower also- but he thought it was rude *shrug* now we sleep in different rooms until I can stomach laying next to him again.

I have experienced both. I did have a partner who would make sure I finished first, my husband however is keep up or better luck next time

He usually stops if his about to cum and waits for it to settle and we get back into it but on the odd occasion he does cum before me we get the vibrator out out or do foreplay to make me cum. The only time I miss out is if the kids wake up and I go and tend to them.

I don't have that problem quite the opposite, My partner of 35 years always ensures that I orgasm 1st, second and possibly 3rd mainly from oral. I think it really gets him off the visual and the sound as I am quite loud. I don't like giving oral sex but from time to time I just have a desperate need to take him in my mouth to finish him off and taste him. Sadly he won't let me do this as he orgasms too quickly from oral. I also wish occasionally he would just screw my brains out and get wild!

That's always annoyed me... like if I'm absolutely knackered cos Iv cum 3/4 times I still have to keep going until he cums... but if I haven't come yet and he has unless I'm really close it usually means that's it- unless we sorta just keep going sometimes which usually leads to me cumming and being exhausted while he's good to go and all fresh so takes long to cum lol

I wish. ☹️
Been with my husband for 14 years, and I've never had the BIG O! No im not joking. NEVER.
He is absolutely crap in bed. Cums quickly must of the time. Plus his quite small too. I love him dearly though.

 An ex BF of 5 years never made me cum either. I thought something was wrong with me. Turns out he was just terrible. First time with my new fella, he made me cu. 3 times 🤗

I hope learnt to get yourself to the O. If not google some tips & but a vibrator. It's a very good investment.

helpful (0) 
 Is this with him or with others two? I hope you have got some sex toys!
helpful (1) 
 My husband has been my only sexual partner.
helpful (0) 
 Then you should enjoy the sex for the closeness, and get some toys so you can enjoy yourself. Maybe look at trying to fix the problem, if you think you could mention it without causing issues.
helpful (1) 
 Yeah it's interesting because I had great Os with my ex. Hubby is perhaps a bit too big and I definitely would never say he is bad but I don't get the same physical reaction, so it must be a compatibility thing 😞
helpful (0) 
 You should check out OMGyes.
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 I feel your pain.
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In 10 years of being together, my husband finishes in a couple of minutes and its all over. Every time. I guess im missing out!

My husband is selfish as well. As soon as he comes it is all over. If I come first I don't even get to enjoy it he either forces me to suck him off or keeps on pumping until he comes. I hate it.

 Crazy to read. Sometimes I'm cheeky if I get off really well first , I'll pull away, sigh and say thank you before rolling over. I then roll back after about 60secobfs of recovery to return. Perhaps talk to him about it next time your cuddling or before it begins
helpful (2) 
 A few times when I have come first I push him off and say something like wow that was great and then start getting dressed. IN a crankly mood he will say what are you doing ?I haven't come yet. I just say the same thing you do to me night after night. He then either gets the shits and storms off or will grab me and force me to do something to get him off.
helpful (3) 
 If he is forcing you then that is rape. You are not his property.
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 2nd responder, kind of disturbing to read. That’s literally rape.
God I hope you’re no longer with that indecent man.

helpful (3)