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I feel depressed. Someone just suggested my hsb get his own fb page instead of sharing mine. Then some of his friends liked the post. I look like psycho controlling bitch wife.

Of course we share because he cheated im sure that's obvious to ppl well i thought it was. He joined countless dating sites via fb and had online relationships, fuck buddies, swapping pics buddies, online flirty friends, u name it he did it. Cheated in 'real life' and ive got the herpes to prove it. I never asked him to delete his fb as didnt want to control him but he chose to as the girls kept messaging once he was trying to behave....i.e once i found out. He has slipped in various ways during our whole marriage and my therapist thinks he has an online sex addiction and sharing a fb keeps him from temptation. I hate that ppl think i am preventing him from being independent and nervous as hell now that he will take their advice and get his own page. Im too old and too tired to worry about his cheating anymore if he does open a page i will say that's fine but we need to separate i seriously cant live with the worry of when he might slip next. I do wish i left him back when but i was so traumatised from my abusive ex i had no self esteem and thought i wasnt enough for him. Ill never ever trust him. If we break up i never want another relationship, between him and my ex i don't think i could take anymore. I dont believe there are good honest kind men. Feel like crap now its all on my mind again too ive never done anything to hurt any partner, nice people just get used and abused

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Answers (17)

Look, you say you regret not leaving him then, leave him now. You're not controlling him.
HE made the choice to delete his Facebook.
HE made the choice to share yours.
HE made the choice to stray from your relationship.
HE is the one making a fool of you.

Now, let's take some ownership here:

YOU are the one who chose to stay.
YOU continue to stay.
YOU are the one who obviously didn't out him about his online cheating (why would his friends think you're controlling if they knew the whole story).
YOU are "so done" with men, but you're keeping this pig around whom you can't trust.

He broke your trust by cheating, and you're worried about whether his mates think you're controlling?
Baby girl, you need to end the relationship. Not because he's getting his own account (because he likely has a secret one anyway), but because the relationship is dead as is. You end it because he's a lying, cheating piece of shit.

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AND LIVE IT!!

F**k this pig man off, f**k his ridiculous dude-bro friends off, f**k off ANYONE that gives you herpes. Why are you staying??

Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him.

8+ BILLION people in this world and you stay with that one? Nah-uh. You're better than that.

 Preach it sister! This! A billion times this!
helpful (6) 
 I’m not the poster, but I feel empowered by reading this! Like I can kick down doors and do anything 😆👍
helpful (9) 
 I was reading this and then when u said baby girl I was like are you Massimo from 365 days 😂
helpful (2) 
 This should make the news, so good, im gonna go kick some doors down too!
helpful (5) 
 Brilliant response! OP, please listen to this wise soul.
helpful (3) 

How do icky men like this get so many women chasing them? Does he look like a god or something? 100% think this is subconsciously why I go for average joe kinda blokes.. I don't know how relationships work for women when you're not the hot one 😂

Also, I reckon I'd run my husband over if he gave me herpes and we'd definitely not need to worry about social media accounts. True story.

 Parasites like this opt for online affairs because rather than show who and what they really are, they cultivate a persona that women want and are attracted to.

The women that have physically fallen for him, he's probably manipulated them so far into the fog, they can't see him for the shitbag he really is.

helpful (2) 

Just comment hubbs can't be trusted because he is a dirty cheating wh**e who gave me herpes

I Didnt read your whole question, but my first thoughts are DELETE FB, its shit, be free of that crap

I don’t know why you’re still with him. And no doubt he’s lying to his friends about the reason for the joint page. It’s not up to you to explain it to them though. It’s none of their business.

I think you deserve some counselling to help you heal, sahm have the contacts on here somewhere, like lifeline etc.
Keep your head up and be strong.
I have no answers, I can't imagine what its like but I do know one thing; where there's darkness there'll always be light. You'll be okay. You're stronger then you think. Best wishes matey xo

Hugs to you ❤️

OP Thanks xx
helpful (0) 

I hope your depressed feeling has subsided a little. All I can suggest is that you start atleast preparing to leave..you know what I mean. Maybe not this year, but next year..be ready.

OP Thank you x
helpful (0) 

4 years ago I was you, then the worst I lost my mum and that gave me the kick in the a*s to [email protected] him off. Life is short and I was not happy our kids weren’t happy. Now I’m in a healthy happy relationship with a great guy, don’t get me wrong we have fights and I get triggered by certain behaviours but the best thing I ever did was tell him, his herpies and his “friends” To [email protected] off out of our lives.

OP <3
helpful (0) 

It's probably because everyone thinks couples with joint social media accounts are weirdos and don't understand your reasons.

OP Yes true and probably doesn't help that i am quite weird lol
helpful (0) 

Oh ffs lady, get out now. Have some bloody self respect and live the rest of your life happily.