Got an Answer?
My ex’s new partner seems so lovely. She’s softly spoken and polite and all I want to do is tell her to run for the hills!
I doubt she’d believe me if I gave her just a snippet of his history. Unfortunately she’ll learn for herself. (I genuinely hope she doesn’t get hurt in the process)
I guess it depends on where the warning / accusations are coming from. My perspective is genuinely of concern but some ex’s are just spiteful.
Trust your gut. Actions are who he is, words are just what he wants to be.
My husbands ex was the same she even put an avo out on him. We've been together 10 years not a god damn problem. But she's a known liar. Did the same to her next ex too. Which we know was a lie too. Some woman are just liars & aren't afraid to do the dirtiest of deeds to get want they want or play the victim.
My husband and his ex used to argue a lot. When things were going well she would start an argument - like a self sabotage type thing. She had a lot if issues. My husband and I communicate really well and have hardly ever had an argument in the 10 yes we've been together. Some people work well together, some don't. Maybe your partner did have anger issues whilst he was with his ex, maybe he gas learnt from those experiences, maybe it's her, maybe she is making it up. Who knows. All you know is what his actions are showing you now. Keep the communication lines open and I guess keep it in the back of your mind but don't let what an ex says hinder the relationship. Make your own mind up.
5 months isn’t long. You’re still in that honeymoon phase, and it’s possible you haven’t seen his true self yet. I think you’re wise to be cautious and time will tell if what his ex says is true or not.
Give him benefit of the doubt.
If he proves you wrong then move on without him.
If all the things exes say were true then everyone wound be evil.
My partners ex says the same thing about him but for over 4 years the only one of them I have seen with anger issues is her. She has physically assaulted him throughout their relationship and also since separated. Every single text message from her is angry and abusive. She verbally abuses him if we have to be somewhere with her.
Flip the other way, my ex was really abusive and can't control his anger at all. He tells everyone I am psychotic and caused him to be that way, people believe him sometimes but he's had 2 more girlfriend's since me and its the same story. Its always the partners fault for making him angry.
So my advice is, and this goes for everyone whether they've been told things from the ex or not, trust your instincts. Don't move in until you have witnessed for yourself how he handles stressful situations and how he deals with anger. If you do see him not handle his anger dont think its going to get better because it doesn't, it gets worse.
My ex said the same about me. We argued a lot and it was often mean and loud....going on for hours. This was from both sides though. We were so unhappy. I've been with my new partner for a few years now and we dont behave that way. I really believe some couples just dont work. My ex blaming it all on me was not a surprise though. He was hurt that I had left and wanted me to look bad.
This could be what is happening. Especially now you are with him. Just keep vigilant but dont let it ruin any chance of a happy future with a guy that might of just clashed with that one person.
You sounds like my exes partner... if so I just lodged all the evidence to the family law court and subpoenaed his police record... hope it’s not you but if it is you’ll see proof soon
In my past my ex was, someone commented as to why I needed to lodge to federal circuit court. I started my “current” situation not past.
It depends on the people in the relationship.
They might clash, they might really fit. My ex was a mega douche, and financially controlling, passive aggressive, and in general a piece of shit. I'm sure I was no delight either. I would withhold sex when I was upset with him, I slept in a separate room for 18 months.
But now we're not together, he still gets in my nerves, but he's really considerate with other people and helpful and totally different to how he was with me. Because we were not a good fit.
My partner now would never get married to anyone else despite being in two long term relationships. We're getting married this year and haven't really been together that long. We just really fit I guess.
I would still be cautious although you seem to have open communication with your partner. If your partners ex is hell bent on people knowing what he is/was like then I think she still has feelings for him. Curious to know how long they had been separated prior to you guys hooking up??
My ex's first girlfriend after we split didn't believe me that he had anger issues and was violent. Guess who rang me 6 months later with a black eye and a swollen lip all of a sudden believes every word I said?
Hmmmm it could be true or not
My ex has anger issues. I think I told the first one after me and she abused me for it. She didn't believe me. He told her I am mentally unstable with anger issues and told my new partner the same. I'm really nice lol I'm so nice I'm constantly taken advantage of my whole life. I hate conflict. My new partner didn't listen and we've been together 12 years.
My ex, well that gf that didn't believe me, in the end she got an avo on him and took him to court and told them he is abusive to her and he only got supervised access visits with the child they had. There's been many more exes since then and a current one about to move in. It starts again.
What I think happens is he focuses all his hate and anger on 'current ex' so 'new gf' only gets the best part of him AND feels sorry for him that he has been thru all this stuff with someone who must be a crazy ex
It was only once I got court orders finalised and asked for written communication only, no verbal handover etc that he couldn't really come after me so he turned on the new one. And repeat and repeat
But if my partner had listened to the lies he said that I was the angry one, maybe we wouldn't be together, married with a beautiful dtg.
Only time will tell, be cautious look for signs, only judge if there's evidence tho and don't forgive too easily.
Some people bring the worst out in each other. Believe her (not believing and supporting each other is how women are facing the issues we are) but give him the benefit of the doubt perhaps he didn't respond to the situation and reacted emotionally and perhapsshe did too. Keep watch for red flags and stand your ground should anything cross the line.