Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Do you get along with your in laws?

If not, how do you deal with being around them? Ie Christmas, birthdays etc...


Got an Answer?

Answers (20)

I get along brilliantly. They live in another country and don’t speak a word of English. Apparently I’m their favourite daughter in law. 😂

 that sounds like bliss!
helpful (1) 

No they’re all idiots. Thankfully, they live in another state and never visit.

 sooo lucky
helpful (0) 
 I wish my in-laws lived in another state!
helpful (0) 

Nope don’t get along with any of them, I just don’t go to any get together and send hubby by himself. It’s win win he gets to see his family and I don’t feel like I wanna rip someone’s stupid head off.

 i think i will adopt that tactic
does it affect you at all that you dont want to see them?

helpful (0) 
 No it doesn’t affect me at all, when I used to attend I would never feel like I was included. And over the years the feeling has never changed and they have done some pretty shitty things towards us, so I just don’t bother going. If they don’t want to show me respect after 10yrs of being with hubby I don’t want to spend time around them pretending to play happy families.
helpful (0) 

My MIL is civil to me but she hates my SIL and boy does everyone know it. They have been in a room together once since they married. MIL didn't go to wedding. They have been married for 17 years. I have 2 FIL. One is great the other is horrid.

 how rude to not even go to the wedding!!!!
helpful (1) 

My only IL is my MIL and I dislike her very much. And I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual. But I try my best to get along with her for the sake of my kids and my husband. I bite my tongue a lot and put in a lot of pretence.

 you are a better person than i
helpful (1) 

Small doses yes. I know my mother in law doesn't like me a while lot. I'm not a perfect house wife for her son. She believes the man does 0%house work wife does 100%. Them she wonders why my house is messy. He can't even put rubbish in the bin!
I just limit my time with her and I've come to realise that the other daughter in law would always be better then I no matter what.

 back to the 1920's we go!
helpful (1) 

Husbands parents split when he was 12. I get along great with his dad and step mum but his mother and step dad have the worst attitude towards me so I cut them out of my life. Hubby keeps them updated about the kids and tries to organise for them to see the kids but they have no interest.

Parents in law - great. Brother & sister in law - not at all but for the sake of the family I just nod and smile. I won't let my emotions (although I have my reasons) ruin everyone else's celebrations

Grey rock them if you have to see them. Look up the JustNoFamily or JustNoMIL thread on Reddit for tips.

Love my FIL, really dislike my MIL, shes nasty, anti social, controling, beyond inappropirate - but it's highly suspected she has some mental health issues. Luckily for me no one can stand her not even my hubby, SIL or FIL so there's never any issues of me against them. Although we all have to deal with the negative mental/stressfull impact she has on my FIL because he often cant cope with her. My inlaws only live 15 min away. But we see a lot more of FIL (him and hubby very close) than my MIL. When I am around her, i refuse to be alone with her, so i basically ignore her and leave it to other people to talk to her. She usually goes in another room to watch tv or goes and sleeps in the car if we are out

 pretty much the same situation im in- does it stress you?
helpful (0) 
 Doesn't really stress me, but that's probably because it's not me against the rest of the family, we all feel the same way. I refuse to be alone with her - if they wont, why the hell should I? Her behaviour can be incredibly embarrassing and inappropriate when in public. We've been at the pub before and she's gone to the loo and then gone and sat at some random persons table because its in the shade. She's take food off strangers kids plates. She pretends to relate to people but makes up stories - Talks all about the chemo she had when she had cancer, when she actually had radiation treatment. Tells us how she's going yo do more of scotland when in the uk, when she's never been.
helpful (0) 
 She needs treatments immediately and you all neglecting it.
may be personality disorder or. Something else...

helpful (0) 
 Nope, nobody is neglecting it. Over the years hubby, SIL, FIL have all been to drs with her and to her dr without her to discuss. She refuses to see there is an issue. If anyone tries to speak to her about it she gets shitty and storms off or
Cries and storms off or swears at everyone and storms off. She is incredibly stubborn, and thinks everyone else is mean and it's them with the problem not her. My FIL has tried many different things, many times but she's q good bullshitter. Unless you spend a decent qmount if time with her you'd never know what she's really like. She can come across quite chatty and sane to people and they have no reason to doubt anything she says. So now everyone has given up because no one is willing to help. She just makes life hell for her family.

helpful (0)