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Would you pay to attend a wedding?

I have a friend who is getting married. This friend is infamous in our circle for her tight-arsedness. This time she has sent out her wedding invitations and has stated that the RSVP to accept the invitation will be the receipt of $65 into her bank account to pay for it.

To be clear, she doesn't have any children, has a great job, owns her home, and travels internationally a lot.

I think it's funny. What do you think?


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Answers (43)

I would have a pig on the spit & some coleslaw and bread rolls plus a keg & a few cases of moet in my backyard before i asked guests to pay. Says nothing about my place in the 'class system' says more about growing up in the country. The best parties in my family involve a pig on the spit & a keg.
Auctually my friends these days would probably find it a novelty ;-)

 It would be so much more fun to me too .
helpful (2) 
 I would prefer dog on the spot but each to their own
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I wouldn't pay to attend a wedding. If she's so concerned about costs there are other ways to keep the price down than asking your guests to pay for themselves. Has she also said no gifts necessary? Or are you aware if it's an open bar? Personally I allow a budget of $100 per wedding. If it's $65 each for a meal, you're over the limit just by inviting hubby and I. If it's $65/couple with a cash bar, I've got $35 left for drinks. If it's an open bar, you've got a $35 present coming your way bride and groom ☺

 Lol I worded that weirdly. One sentence should read "If she's so concerned about costs there are other ways to keep the price down than asking her guests to pay for themselves." Oops. Carry on.
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I think its disgraceful to ask your guest's for money to attend your wedding. Is this what our society has become. We are so selfish and greedy that we demand money from people to attend our wedding. Anyone who thinks that is acceptable is missing a chromosome actually chromosomes! !!
I really cant understand the mentality of some people these days. Pay me $65 to go to my wedding! !! That is robbery. I bet if you dont go she wont speak to you again either. Pay me to attend my wedding or else...
The world really has gone mad. Paying someone to attend their wessing is the most outrageous thing I have ever heard of. Forget the "you were going to buy her a present anyway" crap. Buying a present is not a condition of going to a wedding, and who said how much you were going to spend.
I wouldnt go myself. I would refuse to pay someone money to be a guest at their wedding.
Most absurd thing I have seen all week!

Did she mean it as a joke? Because that's not cool at all... Did she at least offer a discount for couples or people on diets? ;)

It is so tacky and hideous i would judge the bride endlessly! It's no one else's responsibility to pay for your wedding or give you money or do things for you! It's right up there with wishing wells and gift registries! I think people who ask for money, that's essentially what it is, are just greedy and shameless and should be so embarrassed of themselves. Worst kind of people yuk!

 I disagree on the wishing well and gift registry being of the same ilk. There is a difference between asking people to put money into a wishing well or buying something on a gift registry if they want to, and expecting people to deposit into your account an exact amount.
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 Agree completely!
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 I think its a great idea. Why should the bride/groom pay for your meal?
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At work a few years ago, there was a wedding. The guests had to pay for their own meal AND thet had a wishing well
So rude.

It's not about the meal vs the gift or how much you pay compared to how much you buy, or whether the bar is open or not. To me, if you invite a guest, then they are YOUR GUEST, not your client. I would never attend a wedding without a gift, and would never compare the meal the the gift. It's just so,...grabby. Actually, you know what? If the bride called me and said, 'look, we really want our friends to be at our wedding, but we're broke, do you think you would mind throwing in some money to come so we can celebrate with you?'. Then I would say, by all means. But this is truly and simply tight-arsedness. It's so funny, I can't miss the event. It's like people who fight on Facebook. Your know your shouldn't look, but you do!

Disgusting. Such poor taste. If you can't afford the wedding don't have it!

Yeah this would be fine with me I love weddings and know how expensive they are! i hated seeing all the empty seats at mine what a waste

 Me too! Weddings are so much fun! $65 for food and drinks I'm there😀
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The popular rules of etiquette say that you gift should be at least equal to the cost your attendance (per person). So why not drop $130 ask skip the middle man?

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 There you go, for all you people hellbent on "tradition".
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 Agreed. Just pay it but don't bring a gift.
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I think the point of inviting people to your wedding is to share your joy with them. I find it tacky to weigh up the cost of a meal for my guests compared to how much they might spend on a gift for me.

 And the point of going to a wedding is to share the joy with them, perhaps it's just as tacky to sit around bitching about your supposed friend and weighing up how much you will be spending compared to how much you would have spent on a gift for them.
helpful (4) 
OP That's just the point. I wouldn't compare how much the meal is compared to the gift I bring. I would always bring a gift. - whether or not I have to pay for my meal. I would base the gift on something they want, need, or would like, not on the value of a meal.
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 That is literally what your doing. If you choose to buy a gift even when asked not to, that's on you and not the fault of the couple.
helpful (3) 
 But what they want/ would like is to help with the cost of the wedding not a physical gift so that's not really true what you just said-
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OP The invitation did not mention gifts.
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If it's such a big deal for you then don't go, simple. Obviously this friend isn't worth it in your opinion.

I don't see what the problem is.... Lots of people have wishing wells at weddings, all the bride is doing is actually asking for the price of the meal that's all that's different!
If both myself and husband where going to a wedding we would put $100 in a card as a present especially as most couples have a house and don't need set of glasses or toasters or tea cups!
So yes adding an extra $30 would mean we have to budget on other things but if she is truly your friend you would want to be there to celebrate her day!

 The problem is...... give me $65 per person or don't come to my wedding. If you get married, or at your wedding do you or did you expect everyone to put into your wishing well? Or give you a gift? Some people, especially if the wedding requires travel and accomodation might not be able to afford anything at all. Are those people not welcome? Unless I'm reading wrong , this couple has an expectation. Pay $65 or don't come. For me, that's an issue.
helpful (4) 
 I am married and everyone gave us money Expect one guest who gave us a voucher for bedsheets... I remember as we only had 18 people at our wedding. We didn't ask for money, we didn't ask for anything and we didn't expect anything. We paid for the meals & drinks for 3 hours.
Don't really see what my wedding has got to do with anything but there you go.....
Am not from Australia so maybe it's a different culture thing.
Anyway as I said I don't see the problem that's my opinion and you are allowed yours to, if you feel so strongly about paying $65/$130 for a meal don't go!!!

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It would depend on who's wedding it was. If it was a close family member or friend I'd go. Anyone else, no. It's tacky, it's rude and if you can't afford a wedding, wait and save up, have a BBQ in your backyard, or just go to a registry office.

I rather spend 65 elsewhere lol if you go and pay I wouldn't bother with a gift