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Is this the new normal?

My sister has gone back to work three months after having her daughter, her husband is taking three months off then they will each work four days. Most people have said how wonderful it is, but I think its horrible, I couldn't imagine having to go back to work after three months. When they got married he said she will be expected to contribute equally to the finances, as he will be expected to contribute around the house equally. Its her life and I wouldn't say anything negative about it to her, but I wanted to ask is this normal? Would you agree to it?


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Answers (6)

It is their normal and if that’s how they want to work it then good for them. What you would do and what she does doesn’t have to be the same thing. There are plenty of mums who would love the opportunity to get back to their career, plenty that would love to stay home as long as possible. I love that she and her husband are supportive of each other and willing to share equal load both with home duties and with work.

OP Yes its not my circus, it's just hard to see her struggle.
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 What is she struggling with exactly? You havent mentioned that in the OP. Did she want to stay home longer? But equally, what about her husband? Ever consider his needs and maybe he wants to spend time with the baby? Why is that lesser to the womans?
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 Sorry I should have said im worried because she isn't getting any rest, she is breastfeeding all night and not sleeping. I just have to wonder what sort of man would put his wife through this.
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 How does dad feed baby during day. Shouldn't he be doing night feeds if he is stay at home dad and she's back at work?
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 She pumps and he bottle feeds.
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I think it’s a great arrangement. Awesome that each parent can have quality time with the child.Wish I could’ve done it. I took six months maternity leave and honestly, I was bored. What works for them might not work for you but let them do their thing.

 Really? I took 6 months and was so sad i was going back to work full-time. So i decided on going back only part-time because i have bills to pay, but i don't want to miss out on my baby. I also get more time to spend with my ageing parents this way. I'm really glad i was able to do it this way, i would have regrets if i was working full-time and only had two days off each week to spend with my baby.
helpful (1) 

I would make sure she is ok with it, if not support her in making a change that works for her too, regardless of what they agreed she can change her mind. At least she hasn't given up her job if she wants to leave.

I went back to work with a 4 week old baby.
My husband and I both work 18ish hours a week. Give or take. Or kids never went to daycare and number 2 and 3 we really were in a better partnership cos he understood so much more

 I'm glad it worked out for you. That was my plan but it hasn't worked that way.
I went back to work 22 hours a week. My partner works 24. We used daycare though cos my partner works 4 hours a day 4 days aweek plus one 8 hour day but my partner still does nothing around the house and financially contributes less to bills etc than me.
I have a lot of resentment towards him because it feels like I'm still doing more than my fair share. He has lots of me time and money to spend on himself. And when i got upset one day and said you need to do dishes today it ended in this full tantrum that he does everything and I'm a lazy c**t.

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Actually my husband and I did similar, except we each took about 9 months. Its fantastic. Kids are close to both parent, we split the housework, we are both on the same page and get each others struggles both with the kids and with work.
There isnt a 'normal' - everyone has different situations but I think its great that Dads are being allowed to spend more time with their kids and Mums careers are being valued.

 Im sure it will be a great arrangement in a few months time, just not yet.
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I don't respect men who send their partner back to work after a baby. How dare they. The woman is already doing the most important job in the world!