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My Dad died in tragic circumstances. The family was in shock and didn't feel up to dealing with people and all the questions. The day before the burial the funeral home had his casket there (not open) and people could come and pay their respects. We didn't attend. We then had a private burial the next morning. Immediate family only
What people forget is, that the funeral is to say goodbye and pay respects to the dead! So the living should just appreciate it and stop being so precious.
I found out my neighbour had a private funeral and I wasn’t happy cause we were friends for 12 years. We had coffee and chats and kept an eye on our houses when we went away. My neighbour was 85 when she died and the family knew I was friends with the Their relative. I found out she left me $50k and family thiught I manipulated her to give me money. I didn’t know anything abiut the money.
End of the day I ended up getting $5k
This is just my personal belief. I think funerals should be for anyone who wishes to say goodbye and pay respects. But certain aspects such as viewing of the body should only be allowed by close family and friends, and who is allowed to view decided by the next of kin. And the wake should be a private affair also. But the actual ceremony, for anyone who wishes to be there.
I feel you should be private; because a lot of the attending only come to catch up with people they haven’t seen for awhile; or haven’t been in your life for a long time; no phone call to say hi or to cry over you when they don’t mean it; these hanger onners are there just for the party
Out of respect for the deceased and their family. For example, it would urk some of my family members to bits if a certain person ever showed up grieving over me. They lost that right. They can come and cry over my mound in the ground whenever they like, but not to sit their in the church with my nearest and dearest just because they once 'new me'.
There were people at my dads funeral that I didn’t know. My mum said they were people from church and even though they didn’t personally know my mum or dad, they just wanted to show support. My mum thought it was nice of them but I felt they were intruding. They even came and viewed the body. I certainly wasn’t happy about that. After the funeral I told my family I want a private funeral. I don’t want people who barely know me coming to my funeral.
I had this exact conversation with my elderly Dad yesterday. He had initially told my brother he wanted a private funeral not really understanding it meant family only and that there may be a lot of people who may like to pay their last respects.
He has now decided that anyone could come to the church service but he would like a private burial and wake with just family. I think it's a conversation everyone needs to have with their family members as to their funeral wishes.
I wish there was a third option like I want to be blasted into the sky like a firework lol.
My pop had a open funeral and then some stayed after for food and into didn't bother me, maybe because I was too busy trying to hold it together.
My nan had a private one where one daughter didn't show and another daughter used her eulogy as a time to bash my nans character.
And my other pop got a very private funeral and no fuss.
I don't want a funeral. Just to be cremated, my immediate family to put my ashes in a place I loved then to go out for a meal and tell funny stories about me. No sad music or having to get to an awful funeral home.
My dad wanted his ashes spread in a certain spot, and i thought id do it straight away, so he wasnt stuck in the house, but once i got them i couldnt do it. He is still on my special shelf nearly four years later. Im scared in a way to see the ashes and think that that is literally my dad. I have a special little urn to keep too- but i still cant bare to let the bulk of them go.
Hmmm... a very difficult area. I do know of one lady whose family had a private funeral because over the last decade or so of her life she had become increasingly nasty and alienated a whole lot of friends and extended family with nasty words. They chose to keep the funeral very small - immediate family only - as a result.
On the other hand, I know another lady whose son completely isolated her in the last few years of her life, including putting her in a different nursing home without telling anyone. Her elderly sister had to track her down by calling every nursing home in the district. The same son didn't tell any of the extended family, including her sister, that she had passed until after her funeral. It was just cruel and if the details had been made public it would have been less likely to happen.
My own mother doesn't want a funeral at all - so I'm not sure what will happen there. If there was a funeral, it would be very small and private to better reflect her wishes.