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What do you think is happening here?

Have had a FWB for 2 years. We have out ups and downs. Not seeing each other for a while at times. But always drawn back together again.
Recently we went away together for 10 days and we haf a wonderful time. Since we have been back, he has gone back to work (working away) and we havent seen each other. He texts everyday about 6am and then until late into the night and ringing every second day for an hour.
He has said that he misses me, is looking forward to being back and seeing me, would like to do another holiday with me, suggested we go here and there together.... etc
Do you think he is now not thinking FWB and maybe more? I have asked him tonight but he hasnt reply as yet. I am feeling confused.
We have always said it is just friends who have sex and nothing more. What do I do?


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Answers (13)

This is a really sad state of affairs. Shit or get off the pot. Why are you wasting your life on someone who isn't willing to call you their girlfriend? What do YOU want? It's ok to say it. If he says it's not for him - move on. Life is short. Go...find a real man, not a terrified of commitment teenager (mentally obvi). Know your self worth.

Some pretty short sharp comments here.
Obviously he really enjoys your company, and being with you, and the sex of course.
So from your end it does look like a relationship.
I think you were right to ask him.
Men can appear to be in a relationship with you, from your perspective (female interpretation), but are not really, just being kind and attentive as part of the trade off for company and sex (male perspective).
So, the risk is that you fall in love with him, but he is not in love with you.
He may keep coming back to you because he has had others in between, and they have got fed up with his lack of committment and given him his marching orders.

If his answer is no, it is time for you to move on.
And you have to make a clean break and start energetically looking for someone else, or you are going to be vulnerable to continuing this arrangement, because its comfortable, and its known, but it also has no future.
If there is no answer, then that is in effect a "no". (That's how some men answer and actually say no - just avoidance of the whole question.)
If this situation continues, which is convenient for him, you risk ending up, in many years time, having missed out on finding the "one" for you. And when he does find "the one" for him, you will be dropped like a hot potato.
So you need to assess what you want out of life, and if it is to have a committed partner, you have to terminate this FWB arrangement.

What friends with benefits go on holidays and call and text so much this already looks a lot more

Op here. Well after all the missing me, texting and phone calls.... he has been back from his work trip for the past 7 days and I havent heard from him or seen him since he got home to his place from the airport.
So I have made the decision to completely walk away from the friendship and the benefits.

 Good. You are not a piece of meat or a toy.
helpful (1) 
 Good call 👍
helpful (1) 

OP HERE. Oh dear I am at a loss.
I have been so hapoy and content with the FWB arrangement and having no commitment to him. Being independant and leading my own life.
I have pulled the pin a few days ago and told him it is goodbye.
I feel gutted. I cry. I feel lost. I feel alone and so unhappy.
Crap. May e he meant a whole lot more to me that I ever knew and realised.
Now what do I do???

 Fwb never works. You got yourself all hooked up with this guy but you didn't want to believe your feelings were serious. It's normal to feel some form rejection but it's not you it's just his fear of a committed relationship. You can't do anything with men like that, they either work it out or keep running. In the meantime you've wasted enough time on him. When you're ready refocus on finding someone who will show up for you when you need them not just when he needs something. If I may offer any advice for long term happiness stay away from the traditional pretty ones they're trouble what you need is a good soul search for that instead.
helpful (0) 

Find someone who will give you what you want

 She didn't actually say she wanted a re
helpful (0) 
helpful (0) 

He sounds like he is enjoying the company while he’s looking for the one.

Friends miss and care for one another. My best friend and I say i love you, sleep together and take trips when single, support and help each other through ups and downs. But we would probably never be a "couple."

How are you going OP? Did he get back to you?

 His response was "😉". What that means I have no idea. But he is still texting and ringing me constantly. I have decided that I am going to wait until he is back from his work trip and then meet up with him and have the conversation face to face.
helpful (2) 
 Good idea
helpful (0) 
 Sounds very noncommittal. It honestly doesn’t sound like he’s that into you.
helpful (0) 
 I think that answer is a no to a relationship but still wants to play with you. It is a non-committal, just wanting fun wink.
helpful (2) 
 The wink face means just sex. He is having fun that’s all. I hate to say it but he is seeing other women. When you don’t hear from them that’s what they are up to. Men don’t go 7 days without sex.
helpful (0) 

I think it really depends what he's saying in the calls and texts.
That's a lot for a FWB to be calling and texting.
If it's all sexual, than maybe he just has a high sex drive.
However if it's about work, friends, family and life in general, then I think you have yourself a boyfriend.

 Op here. Conversations have been all about family, friends, general stuff, planning another trip away and sexual... so everything and anything.
Until I now havent heard from him in the 7 days since he has been back.

helpful (0) 

Tough one. See what his answer is. Then decide to mive on or stay if you both want more